A Remembrance

Today, in 1966, my youngest sister was born.  It was a harrowing event.  It had snowed and blown for several days and drifts were piled up against the doors 6' high.  There was at least a foot of snow on the ground.  The major road behind our house was plowed, but not our neighborhood street.  

Mom was ready to give birth.  I was the eldest child at 15 and it was all a bit scary.  I was too young to really understand when my other siblings were born, but I knew something about it this time. 

The plowed road was 150' away from the garage.  Dad handed me a shovel and said "dig" as he wielded his own.  We dug out a path to the plowed road in a serious wind and had to repeat it as blown-snow came in. 

Finally Dad said, "you're in charge" and drove off with Mom.  No advice, no suggestions, just "do it".  So I did it.

Sometimes I think back on my life and note that Dad never really acknowledged anything worthwhile I did.  He was always rather critical and quick to point out errors.  But I guess what he said and what he thought were different.  When push came to shove, he was confident enough in me to just say "take care of your brother and sister" with some confidence and off he went with Mom...  This only really occurs to me while writing this.  

My recollection of the reports afterwards said 6 women were helicoptered to local hospitals for births that day and one was driven in.  That was Mom.

So there I was at 15 with a 13 year old brother and 9 year old sister.  Well, I had baby-sat/been in charge before for a few hours with prepared food but not for several days.  Damn good thing I used to help Mom in the kitchen...

I found food and cooked it.  I made sure my siblings got into bed at a decent hour.  I entertained and reassured.  Made sure they watched some favorite TV.  Dad called a few times to make sure we were OK.  We were.  I assured Dad we were fine and there was good food and all that.

The local road was cleared 2 days later.  Mom and Dad returned more easily than they left.  And brought a new sister.

Her name was Jennifer.  Mom forbid "Jenny" or "Jen" so we got away with "Jif" (she loved that brand of peanut butter as she learned solid foods).

I was off to college by then, and she loved it when I came home some weekends.  I was her mysterious Big Brother.  I wore hats then and always put mine on her when I arrived.  She loved that.  She was adorable!  And she adored me all her life.

Sadly, she did not have the charmed life I have had.  Mom and she did not get along as they both aged.  When Jen ("Jen" stuck better than "Jif") was in her 30s, it was discovered that she had an arterial/ventrous blockage what was inoperable at the time and that would likely kill her some random day.  

It happened when she was only 44.  Her male Partner In Life found her dead on the kitchen floor one day.  He has taken wonderful Fatherly care of her children since then.  A good person...

Jen raised 3 children to healthy adulthood, 2 of whom had cystic fibrosis and she spent a lot of time helping them survive as a single Mom.  She was a vegetarian, an organic gardener better than me, raised some fancy chickens for the unusual eggs to sell, and she followed The Grateful Dead when she could.  She happily shared anything she had.

When her partner announced a memorial for her, over 200 people attended.  She was loved and admired by many.  

So, today, I remembering her beginning and end.  It is not a very sad time.  She and family knew the brain blockage would get her some day.  She enjoyed her short life.  I think of her often.  Jen and Mom died the same year, just a few months apart and I lost a beloved cat.  2010 wasn't a great year here.

I'll remember her start in life more than her end.  It was unusual and memorable.  All of my siblings and I have some things in common that I cherish.  With Jen, it was organic gardening.  Jen wasn't a computer-type, but we exchanged letters sometimes discussing organic composting and our current heirloom veggies and a few thoughts on life in general.  

But she was always a special person to me.  So this post is about what started in 1966 and ended in 2010...

One Month Since The Fall

It's been a Whole Month since I fell off the ladder. Sometimes it feels like a week; sometimes a year! Time just doesn't pass normally when you are limping around and housebound.

On the other hand, I am nearly healed. I had a Dr appt Thursday (more below) and I drove there myself. Surprisingly, driving was easy. I brought the walker with me but I was basically just pushing it along in front as I free-walked.

I went grocery-shopping yesterday without the walker (though I knew the cart would have served if needed). It was nice to choose my own fruits and veggies again! I had the store delivery for the first time last week and it was obvious they didn't waste any time selecting ripe fruits or firm veggies - it is "grab&go").

Deb did a wonderful effort shopping for me before that, but my computer-made shopping has a lot of shorthand to save space. For example, only *I* know that "cukes" means the mostly-seedless mini or long English cucumbers, not the standard kind. So it was great to get to pick&choose.

I've done a couple loads of laundry. The stairs are no longer a problem (but rest assured I am VERY careful). I do time it so that I'm going down to the basement for other reasons as well (Dr visit, shopping). In other words, bring laundry down into the washer as I'm driving somewhere, move it to the dryer when I return, bring the dried stuff back up next day...

I can let the laundry sit because all my clothes are 100% casual cotton. I gradually switched to that after I retired. First, I don't much care about "fashion and fit". I'm a relaxed fit-camo pants kind of guy (though I still color-coordinate. Second, I am a serious static-electricity generator. I used to be able to dimly light fluorescent lamps just be touching them and The Mew's furs crackled when I stroked them! 100% cotton solved that.

Now, the latest Dr visit...

It was very irritating at first, but very satisfactory by the end. When you enter the building you meet a front desk person who wants a form filled out. I KNOW it is all about Covid-19 symptoms, it asked 2 questions I HAD to answer "yes" to. First was "Do you have any body aches"? Well, duh, I fell off a tall ladder, so "yes". Second was "Are you congested"? I've smoked for 50 years, so "yes". I shouldn't have checked those boxes.

It generated 15 minutes of delay while the front desk decided I was save to visit the Dr. You would think I had checked off the "Are you a terrorist?" box, LOL! But I was allowed to pass the desk eventually.

I was still at the Drs office before the appt to fill out the same form I had the previous week (in some ways, Dr offices understand computer records about as well as I know what "acromioclavicular separation" means). Then I was escorted to a waiting room.

What an appropriate name for a room. I waited and waited and waited. After 30 minutes (glad I brought a book to read) I heard some people saying "goodnight, see you tomorrow" and went out to make sure I had not been forgotten.

They apologized that the Dr was running behind but wopuld be there "in a few minutes". Yeah, right. After 25 more minutes, I decided that when it an hour, I would leave. I was JUST about to put on my coat when he came in. I was his last appt for the day. I told him I had just gotten up to leave. He apologized for being "busy". I told him "you're busy; I'm hungry".

Actually, that started us off well. He actually wanted to just talk at first, and not about my problems. World stuff. I guess doctors need to talk too. And I discovered (as I expect he did) that we have a lot in common. Maybe that's a professional thing to decide how to talk to a patient or maybe not. But he seemed sincere about the almost 100% we agreed on. Not that I'm a trained behavioral psychologist, but I've been a keen observor of human nature and I could see him relax.

I suspect he gathered that I was fact-based, anatomically-aware, and generally positive toward information and advice. So he got down to the cause of the injury. I had told that to the hospital (which he had the report of) and his own PA. But I can repeat myself, I can repeat myself...

So I told him the whole sad story while he took notes. He was appropriately sympathetic (unlike SOME doctors I have visited in far-gone years). A pessimist would say he was looking for errors in my recitation of the event; and optimist would say he was looking for me emphasis on certain parts. I just told him my best recollection. Well, maybe he saw something I hadn't emphasized before.

Anyway, he was surprised when I mentioned that the hospital said it had sent him a more-detailed report on their examination (xrays, ctscan, mri). That surprised him (see above about doctors and computers) but he found it when he looked. There were some things I didn't know myself.

One was "spinal stenosis"; apparently that is an arthritic tightening of the lower lumber spinal disks. But that was pre-fall, and he said that at 70, it is normal. Disks wear out, and I've led an active life. So, not to worry overmuch about that.

He did some physical tests. Held my knees firmly and had me push them together and apart, asking about pain (and feeling the strength of movement I assume). Had me try to lift each leg while holding them down. My left leg was fine; the right is weak. Checked my right arm for mobility. Explained that the shoulder joint is a 3-way joint and looser than the 2-way hip joint. Showed me some mild stretching exercises I could do at home.

His basic evaluation is that I am healing faster than average for even younger patients because I am very good shape. Oh, I bet he says that to all the guys, LOL! Seriously, he is likely correct. I don't do deliberate exercises, but I am constantly active (well not THIS month). I bet if I only got 10,000 steps in a "regular" day, I would be slacking. I stay standing up 90% of a day normally (but WOW does settling onto the easy chair to eat dinner feel great).

He says my ribs are healing well but don't stress them another 3 weeks. That wasn't a surprise. The first 2 weeks, I felt some slight movement and an occasional clicking sound, but that has gone away. I don't even detect any pain when I cough or do my deep-breathing exercise (recommended by the hospital).

I think the Dr was glad to have me as the last patient of the day as it was a pretty positive visit. He said most of his patients are hurt, angry, sullen, and just want strong meds. We discussed meds. I told him about the Percoset and my concern with it being Oxycodone. I also mentioned the replacement med was Tramadole and that it seemed useless and ineffective.

I told him I was a bit disappointed that the PA had refused a refill on the Percoset, as it HAD worked. And that I had been off it for 5 days before the PA visit without the slightest odd feeling. He made a note of that.

And then he asked me about my smoking. The connection was obvious. How prone to addiction am I? I described my smoking habit. I'm an odd one. About once or twice a week, I stay up REAL late on the computer. I mean, 10pm to dawn and past (I stayed up 36 hours once). I smoke then and only then. And only there. I can have an open pack of cigs by the computer in plain sight for days and not have the slightest desire for one.

He actually smiled. Well, of course he told me I should quit. But I sort of know that. What he mentioned was that it's a "habituation by situation". I LIKE having a lit cig in my hand handling the mouse. I LIKE having something to do while I sit and think about what to type. I'm not saying he approved of it in any way; he strongly encouraged me to quit.

So I asked him about what the hospital xrays, ctscan, and mri might have shown. He initially said "not much" because it depends on what they are looking for. But then he corrected himself saying the ctscan makes very good images. So he looked through the hospital report and found a part describing lungs.

The lung section was detailed. Apparently, they could tell that I had had a single lung lobe collapse (from hitting the ground I suppose) but that it had reinflated normally and that my oxygen level was 98%. He said that, if there had been any lung masses, they would had said so. So I'm clean of lung cancer. That is a relief.

Not much else to say. As I left the Dr, I told him the hour wait was worth the conversation and diagnosis. He told me that, in return, he appreciated my cheerful outlook and willingness to listen to advice. I like this Dr (internist). Funny thing is that I remember him very differently from my only other visit in 2018 (for an annual physical). He acted like he didn't know what that was. Maybe I'm recalling a previous Dr.

As I left, the doors were locked and I had to find someone to let me out. I had the only car left in the parking lot, LOL! It was THAT late. The drive home was easy and rather enjoyable.

All for now...

Getting Around Finally

I have been healing faster the past couple days!   

1.  I can mostly free-walk now (needed the walker only when I first got up yesterday).  Not normally or fast, but I can walk enough to function now and every day is better.

2.  I got down to the basement to do a load of laundry and it was easier than a few days ago.  

3.  Took the car out for a brief test-drive.  It is easier than even using the walker.  The hardest part was getting OUT of the car afterwards.  My right leg kept hitting the steering wheel.

4.  I have a last regular Dr visit later today.  I probably don't NEED the visit but it serves "for the record" in case something comes up later.  I'll use the walker, but probably won't need it.  Handy for carrying stuff!

5.  I think I will go out on the deck and maybe down on the backyard tomorrow (but not let The Mews out yet).  I have a couple small bags of kitchen scraps for the compost bin and they are starting to make their presence obvious.  :(

6.  I think I will leave the ladder up against the tree as a reminder.  I'll make a sign to hang on it:  "Use of ladders after age 70 can be dangerous to your health".

7.  I initially made a few ill-informed predictions about when I would be healed.  First, I thought 3-5 days.  Then, another week.  Well, Groundhog Day will be exactly a month and that is my more-informed guess for normal mobility.

8.  This January has not been "best  month ever" but I should be back to my normal activities soon:

Sorry, just couldn't resist that!  A sense of humor is important.  "Laugh, and the world laughs with you.  Cry, and you cry alone"...

Orthopedic Surgeon Visit

I saw the Orthopedic Surgeon yesterday afternoon.  After all the initial paperwork, she came in and explained that my insurance had a strange limitation in it.  Xrays have to be done by an xray specialist. Even though she has an xray machine in the office, it wouldn't be covered.  So she was going to write a referral and have me come back afterwards on another day.

So I asked what she would charge if I just paid her myself.  $50.  I actually laughed.  A second visit with her would generate another $40 copay, and the xray specialist gets one too.  Cheaper to just pay her myself and save 2 more trips!  So we did that on the spot.

She showed me the xray  It isn't the shoulder ball/socket joint that was separated.  There is a small bone that attached the clavicle/shoulder blade to the top of the ball/socket joint that detached.  It's not even "broken" just separated.  She recommended NOT repairing it surgically (unless I had a heavy work job or threw things professionally).  I can do all the gardening I want, lift paving stones, etc.

That explained a lot.  I WONDERED how I could be putting my weight on the walker with a separated ball/socket joint.  Plus, there is no pain and I have nearly complete mobility of my arm.  An operation would carry its own risks anyway.  

She further explained that, had I visited within a couple days of the fall, an operation would have been easier and with a higher likelihood of success.  Well Gee, I hadn't even gone to the hospital by "a couple of days"!  She said 3 weeks or 6 months doesn't make any difference now.  But, that if it ever starts to bother me (pain, redness, mobility problem), a repair operation could be done then just as successfully.

I have a follow-up visit in a month, and a referral to a physical therapist.  I will call the physical therapist to discuss what they can do that I can't do at home.  I don't want to travel to (and pay for) stuff I can do myself.  That would be like going to a gym club to do push-ups, LOL!  Plus I'll look this up online tomorrow.

I'm getting around with the walker more easily and can free-walk farther each day.  I will be walkinmg normally soon enough.  I can get up and down stairs without any great difficulty (still doing it sideways one step at a time, but I could BARELY do THAT last week).  

The Dr said I seem to be healing quite well and quickly (from what she read in the hospital report).  My ribs and shoulder aren't causing pain.  There are really only remaining problems.  My right leg/foot is a bit unsteady and hard to lift, though it bears weight well enough when I'm just standing still.  The right leg groin muscle hurts sometimes when I move carelessly or change positions in bed, but she says that will heal on it own.

The nasty-looking bruise on the shoulder is completely gone, and the REALLY nasty ones from hip to hip across the back have gone from solid deep plum purple to "paler pebbly", so they should be gone in a week.  I wish I could show the pictures, but modesty forbids.

I went downstairs to the basement yesterday in order to try doing my own laundry.  That worked fine.  I'm not ready to try getting on hands and knees to do the cat litter boxes yet, but I bet I will in a few days.  Wonderful Neighbor Deb was doing my laundry and litter box cleaning.  

I'm sure she will be pleased.  "Willing to do" and "wanting to do" are very different things, LOL!  

I bet I can drive by early next week.  I told Deb not to be surprised if she sees me driving the car in and out of the garage and up and down the driveway while I test my foot strength, pedal sensitivity, and reflexes.  And if that works 100%, up and down our dead end street.

Deb doesn't mention it often unless there is a timing conflict, but she is home all day because she teleworks (conflict management training).  And in spite of what she says about "liking to help people", I  am sure her generous help is interfering with her work and regular daily routine.

I have an appt with my actual primary care doctor on Thursday.  I am sure it will be mostly a "pro-forma" visit and a complete waste of time, but I suppose I have to go just in case something goes wrong in the future and the insurance company could point to any cancelled appt to disallow a claim.  *SIGH*

Lastly, I don't want to sound like I am disparaging doctors.  They are wonderful when there is something they can actual do.  The xrays/ctscan/mri have been useful.  Checking my vital signs has been informative.  But neither the hospital, primary care PA, or orthopedic surgeon have actually been able to quite FIX anything.  It's THOSE kinds of problems.  The healing of MY problems is more time-oriented than action-oriented.  Just my luck, no quick-fix, LOL!

On the other hand, I was lucky.  If I had hit the ground differently I could have died (and the vultures around here are hungry) or been consigned to a wheelchair the rest of my life.  I have sometimes been amazed at my general good luck (which bothers me because I know things SHOULD be rather random).    But it is a case of my being unlucky in small things and lucky in the big things.

In the small things, life is cruel to me.  If I am playing a game and my opponent needs an unlikely roll of the dice, they get it (and I don't).  But the large things matter more.  I've never broken a bone and I have done plenty of stupid things that deserved one.  I don't catch infectious diseases in spite of roommates and carpool members who were CONSTANTLY sick.  When in danger, I escape.  I was involved in an icy road car pileup once and I had the only undamaged car.  I had EXACTLY the right neighbor to help me this month.  The list goes on...

Well, that's it for today.  Things are improving steadily.  One day at a time and all that...

Pictures

I don't often have pics of myself to post, but Great Neighbor Deb took a few yesterday for me.

First, just plain me.  My pics always look a little odd.  Some people have a natural smile even when relaxed.  Not me.  My natural facial expression is a bit dour, even unhappy-looking sometimes.  When I try to smile for a pictures, my eyebrows go up too and I look somewhere between stupid and surprised.

So I actually practiced in front of the mirror!   I managed to keep the eyebrows down and still get a slight smile.

Second, here is a pic of me with the walker Deb's hubby John brought from work.  He works at a public storage place and they have abandoned stuff like that just sitting around.  The thing on top is the breakfast-in-bed tray I mentioned previously.  One end fits over the walker handle and the other end is snug against the bottom of the tray frame.  It works well enough and it is easily removable.  Deb attached a basket in front with zip ties.  The red thing is an AARP fanny pack.  I keep my meds and my Dr appointment cards in there.  Much better than the plastic shopping bag I originally tied there.

I usually wear an N-95 mask when out, but I found a neat cat mask!  If I wear the N-95 mask under it, I will even look like I have a kitty snout, LOL!

Physically, I feel the same as yesterday, so nothing to mention there...  My sleep cycle is all messed up, though.  Sometimes I am tired and go to bed early and get up early; sometimes late and late.  Some nights I can barely sleep (some muscle unhappy in any position).  Other nights, I'm in bed for 10-12 hours.  I'm driving The Mews crazy; they sort of set their daily clocks by when I get up.  

Keepin On Keepin On...

3 Week Anniversary

Yeah, 3 whole boring (sometimes painful) weeks!  

There is a song with a verse I recall that goes:

Counting flowers on the wall, that don't bother me at all
Playing solitaire 'til dawn with a deck of fifty one
Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo

Now don't tell me I've nothing to do

The entire lyrics are HERE if you are interested.

Things to do when you are bored:

1.  Hand-wash dishes

2.  Fold your underwear

3.  Clean all your light switch covers

4.  Look yourself up on the internet

5.  Look your friends and family up on the internet

6.  Watch a political TV channel whose views you hate and laugh at them

I bought a universal-fit walker tray.  It doesn't fit (no adjustments possible) so I'm returning it.  I may have mentioned that previously or not.  The good news is that I realized I had an old breakfast-in-bed tray.  It fits on the top of the walker!  Not that it attaches, but it stays on well enough (I'm only going 10' with it).

I will become a member of the smartphone world Monday!  My needs are few (phone away from home, camera, navigation app).  I chose an Apple iPhone XR.

Tried my 1st home food delivery.  They were out of half my order.  Naturally, the stuff I wanted most.  Next time, I will try allowing substitutions.

Medical Report:

1.  Feeling somewhat more mobile

2.  Can handle stairs carefully (but can't do that AND bring the walker down with me)

3.  Seeing orthopedic surgeon about my shoulder Monday

4.  Seeing primary care Dr Thursday for (hopefully) final re-evaluation

5.  Gave up on the tramadol (no effect at all)

6.  Ibuprophen is working fine with no side effects so far (but I'm going lightly with it - a 600mg when I get up and a 200 at bedtime)

Day 19

First, I just relaxed all day yesterday watching Inauguration Day events.  Well, actually, it was hard to avoid.  Even channels that never show news (like Smithsonian) were broadcasting it.  Mostly, I am just glad that all the election stuff is OVER!

Second, the pulled groin muscle was temporary.  I can still feel it, but it was a lot easier to sleep last night. Still, I'm being VERY careful of it.

Third, I took the first Tramadol pill 4 hours ago.  I can't detect ANY lessening of muscle soreness.  It might as well be a sugar pill.  At least it isn't making me feel drowsy or dizzy or anything.  I'll take another one this evening, but I think I will just stick with Ibuprophen 600mg pill after that.  

Fourth, I swear I am drinking at least a gallon of water a day, but I always feel slightly thirsty.  I try to avoid any late in the evening, I have to get up at night often enough as it is.  Which, I have to say, is a LOT easier than it was a week ago.  

Fifth, I have an appt with an orthopedic surgeon Monday to examine the shoulder joint.  I will be VERY interested  in what she fines.  I could be anything from "you're healing fine" to "let me try this, it may hurt"  to "I'm scheduling an operation".

Sixth, I have an appt with my primary care Dr next Thursday.  I HOPE I won't need it by then, but I probably will.  I don't know what he can do other than measure vital signs like the PA did.  Maybe he will take some xrays to compare to the hospital ones from Jan 5th.

Seventh, I ordered and received a "universal-fit fold down tray" for the walker.  Of course it doesn't fit!  The leg clamps are 2" too short and there is no adjustment possible.  So I am going to try one that has slots that fit over the walker handles.  Those have very specific dimensions, so hopefully it will work.  And since it lifts right off, it will be convenient.  I only need it for transporting meals to the TV room. 

Eighth, the shoulder bruise is gone.  The hip-lower back-other hip bruise WAS solid deep purple.  Now I see some very slight splotching.  So I guess they will fade away in a week.

Other than all that, it is just "sit, sit, sit" though I do make sure to use the walker about 10 minutes per hour.

Not About Injuries Today

Today, I want to discuss a National Event.  I don't want to get TOO political about it.  I have mine, you have yours and they may differ with both of us caring about our Country.

I am writing this "before", but will schedule it to post 15 minutes before the event.  So I will write as if in that moment. 

Today is Inauguration Day, the official day of peaceful transition of one civilian Presidential administration to another.  This event has continued for over 2 centuries in our democracy.  It is an event to honor and be proud of.

In about 15 minutes, Joseph Biden will become President and Kamala Harris will become Vice President after that.  Donald Trump will no longer be our (legitimately and duly-elected) President.

I have (figuratively) been holding my breath since Election Day, waiting for this day.  I will (figuratively) exhale finally when the oaths of office are completed.  It has been a difficult and unpleasant 4 years for many of us both here and abroad.

Many have asked how could we not get rid of Trump sooner.  Well, some countries are based on various forms of government that suit them (or are powerless to change).  Some are ruled by dictators or merchant oligarchies, some are led by religious leaders, some are lead by powerful or figurative monarchs, some are lead by a judiciary focussed on a sense of general justice (some good, some arbitrary). 

We are guided by rule of law.  The distinction may not be great.  But it generally means that, if we elect an idiot as President for 4 years, we are pretty much stuck with him.  Several Presidents have been "impeached" by the House of Representatives, but that only means the Senate holds a trial afterwards.  No President has ever been convicted of charges in the Senate, Trump included.

As was said after Richard Nixon resigned in 1974 (and only after the major political leaders of his OWN party said they would vote to convict), "our long national nightmare is over".

A new Presidential administration will take charge in about 15 minutes.  Some will be angry, most will be relieved.  I expect things will improve in many ways:

1.  The struggle against the covid-19 pandemic will be more scientifically and logistically organized.

2.  The US will attempt to rebuild damaged international relationships and treaties.

3.  We will examine the partisan divisiveness in our country and begin to examine how some of that can be resolved.  There are more angry citizens than people like I realized.  Perhaps they have some legitimate grievances that can be addressed.  Or maybe there is "something in their water" that just makes them crazy.  We will have to find out.  It won't be easy or quick.

4.  I think we spend too much on military armaments, but maybe there is a good reason.  We became "the arsenal of democracy" in WWII; old habits die hard.  But there ARE powerful anti-democratics countries.  The whole military situation bears evaluation.

5.  We can't keep helping other countries as much as we used to.  We have poverty and hunger here too. More international cooperation and more efficient use of food and medical help is required.  Volunteer organizations might help to improve the effectiveness lof government efforts.

6.  We can't keep burning fossil fuels which raise global temperatures and greenhouse gases.  We (internationally) have the technology to make low and zero emission  technologies more widespread.

7.  International sex and enslavement activities are increasing.  We need to reduce/end that.

That is a start.  I expect the Biden administration to address all of these issues soon.  That doesn't mean they will be solved in his 4 or 8 years, but he has to start them here and rejoin international efforts to solve them.

It's still 15 minutes to his inauguration in this (slightly imaginary) post.  15 minutes until a new day, a new way, and a better President than we had before.

I now have some hope for the future.  I am financially stable; if taxes need to be raised to help fix things I will pay gladly.  If I can help in some government program (I have some experience) I will volunteer once I can get around and drive again.   

I have always trusted humanity in general to move towards improving life.  It seems a natural arc for us.    Think of some good idea, tell your neighbors, "pay it forward".  Because they gave your tribe a good idea last year.  Help each other.  We are all on this one planet together.  That drug we created is worth giving to others.  Not just because they helped you with something else LAST year, but because they needed it.

We are all in this together.

And in 15 minutes, the US will change for the better.  And hopefully, with a hard lesson learned...

Mark

Dr Office Visit

Went to my regular Dr office as followup to hospital visit.  Actually, I saw a physician assistant (PA) hereafter).  I have good vital signs!  Blood Pressure 150/65 (the 150 is a little high, but she allowed for the exertion using the walker for 2 weeks).   Pulse was 66.  Oxygen level was 98% (fantastic for a 50 year smoker)!  And to think the primary care Dr suggested I might have COPD in 2018.  Temp is a perfect 98.6.  

Turned out they WOULDN'T approve a Percoset refill.  I told her my last pill had been Thursday and I felt just fine mentally (as in no withdrawal sensations) but they are being cautious and I understand that).  But she understood I WAS in some pain, so I got a prescription for traMADOL (an opiate) and 600 mg ibuprophen.  Grand total cost 49 cents.  WOW!

I researched traMADOL (that's how it is printed on the bottle).  It seems more addictive and dangerous than Percoset!  Well, they only gave me 9 pills.  What bad can happen?

It was funny when she asked my age.  When I said 70, she looked at me carefully and asked me to confirm it.   Yeah, I'm one of THOSE PEOPLE.  I often get carded when I request a senior discount, LOL!  Fair is fair, though.  I sufferred as a teen by looking 14 when I went to college.  Just TRY to date a college woman when you look like you're in 10th grade...  Liquor store guys would study my drivers license to see how I had faked it. 

I ordered a flat tray with raised edges for carrying food to the TV room on the walker (I have a basket but it only fits small bowls) and 2 precut tennis balls to fit the non wheel legs.

I'm actually having a harder time getting around now than 2 days ago.  Apparently, I've pulled a groin muscle.   THAT stings a bit.  The ibuprophen helps and I start the opiate tomorrow.  But I need to favor the right leg for a few days.

BTW, both Deb and John tested positive for Covid-19 last Summer.  Several negative tests since then.  She sanatizered me and had me wear gloves in her car and the Dr office.  Even so, she said she wouldn't go in the Dr office waiting area, and then did anyway.  She did all the paperwork and got the prescriptions afterwards (there is a pharmacy right there in the Medical Bldg).  She is a take-charge person!

When she got me home, she insisted I do a complete change of clothes and put that set into a separate plastic bag (from which she will dump untouched from the bag into the washer for safety).  She is a self-proclaimed "cleanliness fanatic".  My house must look like a horror show to her.  Let's just say I am a "rather careless housekeeper". It just doesn't bother me.  I grew up playing in dirt and creek water, and my adult hobbies usually have me in dirt.  The PA was surprised at my lack of adult health problems (I never catch colds or flu.  I've read health articles about that, though.  Moderate exposure to "the natural world" tends to provide lifelong health benefits.  :)

She loves the truffle sample box I gave her.  Says she never guessed there were so many flavors.  Pumpkin, spice, mint, sea salt, etc.  I have simple tastes in chocolate:  White and Extra Dark!  So, I know what to do with the sample box (basically 2 or 3 of every flavor Lindor sells) that will come with my next White and Extra Dark order I place (I order a 150 piece box of each about once per year).

That will be a few months from now, so I am planning "innocent thanks" flowers next week and prime steaks when I can shop for myself again.  And some fresh garden produce in Summer.  Not many people are familiar with flat Italian green beans, and apparently, she has never had an heirloom tomato.  Hmm, a loaf of my home baked bread next week, too.  I use beer instead of water for more depth of flavor, and add dried minced onion, crushed garlic and oregano.  Really makes a difference.  I LOVE my bread machine!

Other than that, it is "same old, same old".  Wait and heal, wait and heal...

Day 16

Well, here I am again, still part of the walker-brigade...

The good news is:

1.  Appt with regular Dr office tomorrow at 1pm.  My primary care Dr is booked up, but the office says they have a physician asst available then who is fully qualified to poke. prod, and evaluate my progress on the injuries listed in the hospital report.  And it seems little doubt that they will authorize a refill of the Percoset.  My last pill was Thursday and I can really feel the lack.  Though I will say ibuprophen helps quite a lot.

2.  Appt with orthopedic surgeon next Monday to evaluate the shoulder.  It seems odd that I can put weight on that shoulder without pain while using the walker.  But I'm sure the Dr will explain all that after seeing me.

3.  It feels like I have plateaued this past few days,  but I CAN tell some differences.  It is easier to get in and out of bed and it is easier to change sleeping positions.  Also, I can stand up easier and it doesn't hurt much to cough (so I can tell the rib muscles are healing).

4.  Deb insists I am not over-asking for help from her.  I tried to give her an "out" saying I don't really need her to bring in my paper and mail EVERY day, and that with 2 cats using 4 litter boxes,  daily cleaning isn't required.  Ayla uses the bathroom mat lately, which I am OK with for now - it is easy to pick up her firm little poops with the washcloth she uses to cover up with.

5.  Deb will bring me to the Dr appts.  She works at home and SAYS she appreciates a good excuse to get out of the house.  I TOLD her I could just call a cab, but she won't hear of it.  I am SO grateful for her cheerful assistance.

Two Whole Weeks

It's hard to believe it has been 2 weeks since I fell off that darn ladder!  The hours go slowly, but the days disappear.     

Some minor accomplishments:

1.  Right shoulder is better.  I was able to sit down and pay some bills.  Hurray, I can print a check legibly again!

2.  Doing the above, I needed an envelope from the computer room.  Without really thinking about it, I stood up and free-walked (slowly and with hands on the walls) there and back.  I wouldn't want to try free-walking any farther though.  And I don't plan on doing it again today.  But it was good to discover I could.

3.  Made a real meal (as opposed to just thawing out a few things).  Fried eggs, bacon, hash browns, toast, cocoa, and green tea.  Tonight will be a pork/mushroom/pepper stir-fry.

4.  Did some very light kitchen countertop cleaning.  Just handi-wipe work, but it looks better.

5.  Unpacked 3 kitchen items I received a month ago and was ignoring.  They are for sugar, flour, and cornstarch.  They are cats!  I marked the collar tab of each with "S F or C" to tell them apart.  No more ugly mason jars...

6.  Washed some socks in the sink.  I have LOTS of clean socks, but most are hard to put on right now.  These were nice slippery-stretchy golf socks.  Easier to pull on AND get into my shoes.

7.  Again, my many thanks for all the good wishes and concerns.  They help me get through each day.

Isn't it funny how little things mean a lot sometimes?

One Day Leads To Another

Not much different today than yesterday.  The ugly shoulder bruise is fading, but the ones around the hips/lower back are deeper purple (I can't show you THOSE pictures, LOL).  They will begin to fade in a few days, I guess.  At least bruises don't actually HURT!  The muscles under them do though.

There may not be much change from yesterday, but there sure is from last Wensday.  Getting up from a chair or bed was a willful act of pain then.  Now I can pretty much just stand up (one hand on a kneee still helps).  One day soon I will just stand up like normal and not even realize it at first.

You would think that using the walker would make my arms hurt/tired since I'm putting a lot of my weight on them, but it is actually the hips that wear out first.  

Deb came over to see how I was doing.  She returned my laundered pants and picked up my grocery list for when she goes out later.  I have lots of the other stuff clean.

She gets a kick out of my grocery list and refrigator supply.  She says I am the healthiest-eating person she ever met.  Today's list was all fresh fruits and veggies.  Not a twinkie or even potato chip in sight.  

She likes my shopping list itself too.  I made an Excel spreadsheet list of all my usual stuff years ago.  I fitted it 2 per page and printed out 50 copies and cut them in half.  So there is 100 lists.  I keep them on a strong magnetic clip on the refrigerator and just check off items as I run out.  She thinks she may do the same.

It can be funny about lists though.  You know what each item means to YOU, but no one else quite does.  Like, one item just says "lettuce" .  I know that means green leaf or buttercrunch.  To Deb, that meant "iceberg".  She LIKES iceberg (I don't), so I explained and gave it to her.  Same with tomatoes.  To me that means grape or cherry tomatoes.  To her it means the larger regular hothouse tomatoes. I know beggers can't be choosy, but I guess I'm a bit of a "foodie"...  So todays list was handwritten in more detail.  She understands.

She insisted on doing some quick cleaning in the kitchen.  I said OK as long as it was just exposed counter space not oven-cleaning and she could NOT even look into the bathroom.  But I think I better do some cleaning in there myself today.  She is VERY determined to help and I do have SOME pride!  But I am the kind of person who couild walk into an abandoned cabin full of cobwebs and a dead squirrel in the corner and think "Home Sweet Home", LOL!

The Mews are adapting to the situation.  They have the Big Bowl of kibble, and I managed canned 2x a day now.  Ayla has been more active lately, coming into the main rooms of the house.  I even saw Ayla nappin on a living room chair yesterday.  And she comes to visit me at the computer frequently.  They still fear the walker.

Thanks for the continued good wishes, POTP, etc.

One Week Home From The Hospital

First - I can see why SOME permanently-injured or very elderly people ask themselves why they are "sticking around" (don't worry, that's not me - "this too shall pass").  This is all INCREDIBLY BORING AND IT HURTS, TOO.

Second - Many of you have mentioned how fortunate I am to have neighbors like Deb and John.  I certainly agree and make it a point to thank them every time they visit or run an errand.  And I mentioned to Deb how often all of YOU have expressed gratitude for her help on my behalf.  She said "WOO HOO, thank them all for the kind words" (with thumbs up).  And "it is nice to be recognized but I would do it unrecognized of course".  Well, of course she would.  She's that kind of helpful person.  She said she has had similar good help in the past, and believes in "pay it forward.  I sure will.  So, I'm passing that along.

Third - The hospital has left a couple  of voice mails asking me to call them about my recent visit.  I haven't called back yet; I'm not sure what to say.  Amdla2000 left a comment "This old nurse thinks that your ER visit was medically successful, but a total case management failure".    I agree.  They did some good thorough work with xrays/catscan/mri, but sent me home without much advice.  

I am, of course, grateful for their work to gauge the extent of my injuries, but I will mention that (as kindly as possible).  Also, the medical report they gave me is complete gibberish to any non-expert.  I will suggest they provide future patients with a 1 page summary in PLAIN ENGLISH.  Needing a medical dictionary to understand the report makes it nearly useless.  A list of what all those blood test acronyms mean would also help.  A list like that wouldn't even need to be personalized for each patient.  Just a boilerplate single page.

Something like "3 fractured left ribs, 1 fractured right rib, dislocated right shoulder, pulled muscles on both sides of rib cage/hips/lower back/left thumb.  Try to move around frequently, drink lots of water.  A walker will help", etc, would have helped greatly.  

I also want to ask why they didn't automatically do a covid-19 test.  I know there was no  nasal swab done, but maybe it shows up in the blood test.  If so, they didn't mention it in any way I can tell.

Fourth - Cable TV is wretched!  There is an old song "57 channels and nothing's on.  Well, I have a lot more than that and it is still true.  Even the free on-demand stuff is pathetic.  I end up mostly watching CNN, MSNBC, and cartoons.  I'm not a movie person (they are just too long).  Thank goodness I have a lot of DVDs!  I may order more.

Fifth - Well, I just got up, time to face the day...

Day 10 After The Fall

First, thank you all for the MANY well-wishes.  It is good to have friends.

Second, it has not escaped my awareness that I could very well have died!  I was fortunate to have fallen relatively flat.  A slight change of angle and I could have landed on my head.  SNAP!

Third, it seems odd to realize that I fell 10 days ago.  It seems like both forever and yesterday.  "Forever", because I am used to being active and there sure isn't very much I can do lately.  It is amazing the things you take for granted.  "Yesterday" because undifferentiated boring days all melt together.  When nothing about one day is much different from another, you lose track of them.  

Fourth, I've lived (pretty happily) on my own for 50 years.  It creates a habit of self-relience.  Suddenly not being self-reliant is quite a shock!  So, I make it a point to do what I can.  Its not much but even small things help.

Fifth, I want to assure everyone I do not blame Laz in the least.  I have told him several times "It was NOT your fault".  

Sixth, some of the initial bruises are beginning to fade.  Oddly, some of the original lighter bruises are deeper purple now.  I have never bruised easily, so I don't have much experience with how they heal.

Seventh, I am learning to be very efficient when I move around.  When I'm in one spot, I keep everything together on a counter or table.  Food (for example) gets separated by to-be-microwaved, to-be-stovetop-cooked, and edible raw (fruits, salad material).  And I don't leave a spot without making sure I have my cordless phone, eyeglasses, TV remote, etc with me.  Nothing like "walkering" across the house and realizing my glasses were left in the bedroom to make you sigh DEEPLY!

Again, thanks for all the good wishes, thoughts and prayers, POTP, and useful advice.

Time Passes Slowly

I've never been actually INJURED before, so all this is a new experience.  I realize this is pretty minor as things go, but it is ME, not someone else.  I've never felt so RESTRICTED. 

Like, I don't leave the house often, but now I CAN'T!  I can't even get down to the basement.  I have the cat litter boxes down there and trays of veggies (4 kinds of lettuce, celery, radishes, carrots, and bok choy) to water (Deb is graciously taking care of that for me).

This recovery is going to take a good bit longer than I expected.  I AM getting better, but "better" is not "much better"!  The rib muscles still hurt, but not as much or often.  I have better use of my right arm (the left is fine).  The right shoulder joint doesn't actually hurt, but it is very awkward.

I have a bit of a dilemma with the shoulder.  The hosital gave me a sling to wear (day and night), but I can't wear it AND use the walker.  So, for now, I'm just trying to rest it as much as possible.

*SIGH*

Bruises

Some impressive bruises on the right shoulder.  Biggest I'VE ever had, anyway.  And well, I can't politely show the others...

 

Problems

I've been offline a week because I'm stupid. I fell 14' off a ladder Jan 2 saturday trying to get Laz out of a tree.  I know he probably could have gotten down eventually, but I saw him try 2x and not knowing how, and it was dark.

I am injured.  I hit the ground on my right shoulder and back.  I passed out briefly, then yelled for help.  No one heard me.  I felt like I had been hit by a car.  It took 15 minutes to crawl 50' into the basement.  I couln't manage the staiurs, so i slept on the basement floor.  In the morning, I was able to slowly drag myself up the stairs and into bed.  It was VERY painful to do that.

I didn't feel any broken bones, I figured it was all sprained muscles, and I heal fast.  Because of that, and covid19 fears (both danger and expecting no beds or nurses available) I didn't call 911.

Sunday and Monday were horrible!  Tuesday, the muscles hust "less" (a rather relative "less") but then I could feel rubbing on both side of my ribs.  Plus the ball of the right shoulder joint was sticking up.  I could not move my right foot to walk.  I called 911 and they sent a medical transport vehicle ( not a full-blown ambulance, thankfully).  They were wonderful!

I was given immediate attention.  After physical poking and prodding (oh the joy)  :( I got xrays, a catscan, and an MRI.  I have 3 broken ribs on the left, 1 on the right and a dislocated right shoulder. I have a massive bruise on the right shoulder. I got a morphine shot.  There wasn't actually much they could do for me there, so they sent me home whith a percoset prescription and the name of a local chiropractor.  I couldn't go get the prescription of visit the chiropractor.  

I had no one local to call for help.  Family dispersed and no telephone numbers for neighbors.  But here is where things got much better.  I saw the lady across the street (Deb) outside Thursday.  I manged to open the window (OUCH!) and called out for help.  She came right over.  

She saw I was in misery and offerred complete help.  She collected mail and newspapers (papers on the ground invite burglars).  She asked about food and medicine.  I had a shopping list and the Percoset prescription.  I gave her my food list, prescription, driver license, and insurance card and she took off at once.  

It took her 90 minutes to get everything.  What a kind person!  

She immediately asked what else she could do.  I hesitated to ask, but the litter boxes hadn't been cleaned since Saturday.  Turned out she had cads previously and said she would be happy to clean them (down in the basement).  And I asked her to bring up fruits and vewgies and meat from the basement refrigerater.  She even watered my basement plants.

She also called her husband (John, works at some public auction place) and told him to bring a walker home.  He did and they brought it right over.  What a relief!  I was barely scooting around in my computer chair.  With the walker, I could even drag my right foot along.

She teleworks, so she is home all day.  She gave me her phone number and assured me I could call day or night.  She came over this afternoon to check on me and did some more helpful things.

I didn't know Percoset was Oxycodone and something else I forget, so I was careful to take a 1/2 pill to see how it would affect me (warns of drowsiness and dizziness).  It didn't seem to cause a problem, so I'm taking a full tablet as prescribed now.

Everything still hurts like blazes, but I suppose it would be worse without the Percoset.  I can get around with the walker.  Today I could actually stand up on my own though I can't move around without the walker.  I can get in and out of bed with less pain.  I've been lying in bed 12-14 hours a day.  The waterbed is soft and warm.

I can cook simple meals, though I'm more thirsty than hungry.  I can use the computer (carefully).  Deb will come visit each day.  She even offerred to do laundry, but I have enough clean clothes for a week.

I'm healing slowly but steadily.  Everything still hurts.  Today, I am able to use my right leg some.

I'm leaving a brief note on the Mark's Mews blog.  I think I can be emailed directly at cavebear2118@verizon.net.  I MAY be absent a while.  Or not.  Typing is awkward, but doable (and it's not like I have much to do but watch TV otherwise).  I may be able to walk normally in 3-4 days, but I'm not going to risk the stairs.

I did get Laz out of the tree, but that's why I fell.  I got his claws loose from the branch, but as I lifted him towards me, he grabbed the branch again.  Not knowing that, when I pulled, he held and over I went...  I'm not blaming him at all.  But I'm not letting any of the cats out.  They are all acting weird because I'M acting weird!  Ayla is spooked and hiding, Laz will walk past me but out of reach, Marley at least stands next to my chair for scritchies sometimes.

Deb filled a large bowl with kibbles, and I can manage canned food once a day.

See ya around...

The New Computer

I'm sort of losing my mind here.  Everything seems to have migrated to the new computer fine, except for the email.  And I decided it was time to get a real security suite and a password manager.

ARGGHHH!!!

If I wasn't a DIY type, I would go nuts.  And I've generally been offline because I feel like I'm in a Twilight Zone episode.  Or one of those dreams with no monsters (I don't have "monster" problems) but nothing works at all.  I call those "frustration dreams", and those are my usual kinds.  Lately, those have been all too real.

EMAIL:

Several years ago, Verizon sold their email service to AOL.  AOL has plagued me ever since.  Rgey want me to use their system directly, and it SUCKS!  I have been redirecting my AOL emails to Apple Mail where I have 3 separate accounts.  One is "cavebear" for myself.  A second is "marksmews" for the cats.  A third is "yardenman" for home and yard stuff.

When I migrated everything to the new Mac Mini, the email wouldn't.  When I finally got most emails to import, the passwords for my Apple Mail accounts didn't.  Apple says it is an AOL problem; AOL says it "talk to Apple".  

I got an AOL tech on the phone after complaining enough.  She was very friendly and helpful.  After 30 minutes, I had a new password for the cavebear account.  Only it turned out all that was just a change in my AOL account password.  My Apple accounts still wanted passwords.  I had them all written down in a binder of course, but they no longer worked.  And then we got disconnected.

I called AOL techs again.  This time, I was told the 3 Apple accounts each needed a separate monthly tech help fee of $5 per month for them to help.  $180 per year just to have them do what Verizon promised I would get for free.

So, I can read my mail direct in AOL, all jumbled together.  I'm exploring other email apps, but it would require all new addresses.  I shudder at the idea of how to contact everyone I know about new email addresses!

An option is to leave the old Mac Mini online just for the email.  It works fine there.  The problem is that the working passwords there are hidden (all ***********).  I need to get a 2nd router cable to do that.  That's easy to solve, but awkward to keep 2 computers operating.

SECURITY SUITE:  

I've been coasting along on free Avira (which is well-regarded), but I decided to upgrade.  There are things Avira doesn't do.  Like protect from ransomeware, spyware, financial transaction, and keystroke protection.  I searched everywhere for "best apps".  No one agrees.  I finally settled on Kaspersky.  According to some sites, its weakest point was the password manager (see below) and it has a Russian origin but was otherwise the "best of the bunch".  

I downloaded it and am learning how to use it.  A "quick scan" showed no malware on the new computer.  I was concerned because I had copied old files and apps to this new one and I wanted "the best" to check on those before I started using it.  I'll do a complete scan after I leave here later and let it run overnight.

PASSWORD MANAGER:  

I started keeping passwords in Excel years go and keeping the printed pages in a binder, after which I deleted the Excel spreadsheet.  But who knows what remains behind even after a delete?  I got nervous. And that was after only saving the Excel to a thumbdrive and removing it.  But, you know how passwords go.  You repeat them many times and even if they re slightly different, there are patterns.  So I decided I needed a password manger app.  

One really bizarre and meaningless long (VERY STRONG) string and ll the esier ones re hidden (I think).  I went with the "1password" app.  It will take a whole day to enter all the other passwords into the app.  Maybe 2 days.  But I have so many, maybe I can eliminate half of them.  There are sites I haven't visited in years and have no interest in.  But just deleting bookmarks doesn't eliminate all records of them.  I'll need to dig further into the files to find them.

 ---------------

I'm getting through this one small step at a time.  And it will take more time.  I'm at the point where I COULD be back on line, but there is only so much computer time I can take.  I need to figure out the Kaspersky anti-malware and the password manager.  I need to figure out the damn email password problem.  I need to go through 5,000 emails and decide which to save (I'm a hoarder).   I probably have a few 100 pictures in the camera and they need to be viewed, deleted, saved, processed, etc.

I let it all sit ignored for 2 days while I puttered around the house and yard catching up on chores.  That was actually a pleasure.  But that's a subject for a new post...