A Remembrance

Today, in 1966, my youngest sister was born.  It was a harrowing event.  It had snowed and blown for several days and drifts were piled up against the doors 6' high.  There was at least a foot of snow on the ground.  The major road behind our house was plowed, but not our neighborhood street.  

Mom was ready to give birth.  I was the eldest child at 15 and it was all a bit scary.  I was too young to really understand when my other siblings were born, but I knew something about it this time. 

The plowed road was 150' away from the garage.  Dad handed me a shovel and said "dig" as he wielded his own.  We dug out a path to the plowed road in a serious wind and had to repeat it as blown-snow came in. 

Finally Dad said, "you're in charge" and drove off with Mom.  No advice, no suggestions, just "do it".  So I did it.

Sometimes I think back on my life and note that Dad never really acknowledged anything worthwhile I did.  He was always rather critical and quick to point out errors.  But I guess what he said and what he thought were different.  When push came to shove, he was confident enough in me to just say "take care of your brother and sister" with some confidence and off he went with Mom...  This only really occurs to me while writing this.  

My recollection of the reports afterwards said 6 women were helicoptered to local hospitals for births that day and one was driven in.  That was Mom.

So there I was at 15 with a 13 year old brother and 9 year old sister.  Well, I had baby-sat/been in charge before for a few hours with prepared food but not for several days.  Damn good thing I used to help Mom in the kitchen...

I found food and cooked it.  I made sure my siblings got into bed at a decent hour.  I entertained and reassured.  Made sure they watched some favorite TV.  Dad called a few times to make sure we were OK.  We were.  I assured Dad we were fine and there was good food and all that.

The local road was cleared 2 days later.  Mom and Dad returned more easily than they left.  And brought a new sister.

Her name was Jennifer.  Mom forbid "Jenny" or "Jen" so we got away with "Jif" (she loved that brand of peanut butter as she learned solid foods).

I was off to college by then, and she loved it when I came home some weekends.  I was her mysterious Big Brother.  I wore hats then and always put mine on her when I arrived.  She loved that.  She was adorable!  And she adored me all her life.

Sadly, she did not have the charmed life I have had.  Mom and she did not get along as they both aged.  When Jen ("Jen" stuck better than "Jif") was in her 30s, it was discovered that she had an arterial/ventrous blockage what was inoperable at the time and that would likely kill her some random day.  

It happened when she was only 44.  Her male Partner In Life found her dead on the kitchen floor one day.  He has taken wonderful Fatherly care of her children since then.  A good person...

Jen raised 3 children to healthy adulthood, 2 of whom had cystic fibrosis and she spent a lot of time helping them survive as a single Mom.  She was a vegetarian, an organic gardener better than me, raised some fancy chickens for the unusual eggs to sell, and she followed The Grateful Dead when she could.  She happily shared anything she had.

When her partner announced a memorial for her, over 200 people attended.  She was loved and admired by many.  

So, today, I remembering her beginning and end.  It is not a very sad time.  She and family knew the brain blockage would get her some day.  She enjoyed her short life.  I think of her often.  Jen and Mom died the same year, just a few months apart and I lost a beloved cat.  2010 wasn't a great year here.

I'll remember her start in life more than her end.  It was unusual and memorable.  All of my siblings and I have some things in common that I cherish.  With Jen, it was organic gardening.  Jen wasn't a computer-type, but we exchanged letters sometimes discussing organic composting and our current heirloom veggies and a few thoughts on life in general.  

But she was always a special person to me.  So this post is about what started in 1966 and ended in 2010...

Sister Visit, Not

I live 2 hours away from the town where most of my family lives/lived in MD.  When my sister and hubby decided to move to FL after retiring, she planned to visit me before leaving the area.  Well, moving is stressful and busy, and she couldn't get the free time.  I understood that.  I would have been equally pressed for time.

This April, she emailed that her hubby was returning to the old town to meet old friends and go fishing in Canada with them.  Susie decided to go along as far as the old town and stay with her daughter and visit old friends there.  She said she was going to drive the 2 hours to visit me one day here.

Things happen.  She decided driving 2 hours in a strange rental car (she doesn't like driving) was too uncomfortable.  We considered meeting in the middle, but that would have just been in a restaurant for or hour and that's not a great place to talk.  I considered some outside locations, but the temp is hitting 95+ and the heat index over 100, so that wasn't a good idea.

We decided to just keep talking on the telephone every so often.

I miss her generally.  She is not only a sister but a person I like.  I mean, if she was only a neighbor, I would like her too.

But with 2 months notice, I started fixing the house up.  I'm a single guy set in his ways; I don't worry too much about how the house looks inside.  But I repainted the bathroom, mopped the floors, washed other walls ( the kitchen really needed it), etc.  And I had yard stuff to show.  The new compost bin, the new deck (3 years old but she hasn't seen it), the enclosed garden, flowers everywhere.  Etc.

It would have been nice to show her the things I've done.  And to sit and talk to her.

But at least I have a nice clean house!  That should last about a month, LOL!

Sister Visit

My sister Susie and hubbie Walt visited Saturday.  Naturally, I never thought to take pictures.  Well, it's always so busy and good when they visit, I forget.

They loved the new look of the house.  I asked Susie for her opinion about what color to paint the garage and front doors (the siding is gray/green and the shutters darker green.  I was thinking the doors should match the shutters.  Susie has great color sense.  Florist experience, and she has a Martha Stewart tendency (a good thing - you should see her house).  She said leave them white, so I will.  The more I picture the green vs white doors, the more I like the white.

I cooked a chicken and extra parts in the slow smoker.  It turned out great (for once - I get lucky sometimes).  Susie brought a potato salad that was oddly familiar.  I make mine spicy and vinegary.  Susie said it was Mom's old recipe.  The dressing is mayo with powdered mustard and a bit of catalina dressing.  Ahh, a touch of flavor and memory from my youth!  I will sure make it that way next time...

I love Susie and Walt. Even if they weren't related, I would love to have them as next door neighbors.  I mean, if they were strangers and moved next door, we would be friends.  And I bet ours cats would get used to each other too.

[Marley - No we WOULDNT!]  Quiet Marley!  Yes you would.  Because the fence would be down between our yards and you would get used to each other.  Lucy is NOT evil!

Anyway. it was a great family visit, and Dad and I are going to visit Susie at Thanksgiving.  Dad doesn't know that yet.  There is no point in telling him until a a day before.  Eldercare sometimes means just announcing things suddenly.  LOL!

[Ayla:  Well, we all hid unner the bed fer a reason]  Yeah, you are are all CHICKENS.   Susie and Walt are "cat people".  You should have come out and got scritchies.  THEY know how to do them too, you know.

[Yeah but...]   Treat time!  All come out to the kitchen...  [YAY!]

Whew!  But the visit was great and it was so nice to see family again...