Writing

Have you ever written something that needed to be posted at a given time and it was just horrible?  And you just couldn't fix it?  Most of us have.

I wrote a poem for Dr Seuss Day over a week ago and it was just a mess!  The idea was good but I had too many topics in it.  Cat In The Hat, falling from the ladder, Alice In Wonderland, etc.  Too much on my mind, I suppose...

I sent it to a friend (Ann of Zoolatry) asking for some help.  It came back much improved.  Inspired by the improvements, I kept some and changed some.  I fixed some rhythmic mistakes, so it reads better.  It's better than it was.  You can read it HERE.

In the same way, on another site I visit (not a "writing" site) someone suggested writing a first chapter (no full story or conclusion required).  It required a set up for a story, an object someone could sit on, and a single line from another character.  

I write short stories sometimes, so I figured all I had to do was drop the ending, make sure someone sat on something, and add a comment from someone else.  But I used a short story written before and reworked it.  Nothing said it had to be new.  But it had been included in a group "vanity press" book, so I decided that was improper.  And I couldn't come up with a new plot.  So I'm not submitting it.

I used to play chess a lot.  When I was younger, I could up with complicated attacks using spaces just vacated by a previous move.  Those are harder to detect.  About 10 years ago, I discovered I couldn't organize attacks any more.  Creativity was failing me.  I could defend well, and defense is important.  But at some point you actually have to checkmate the opponent to get a win.  A great defense usually leads to a draw.  I don't play to get a draw.

Getting older sucks...

A Surprise Letter

I subscribe to The Washington Post newspaper.  Yeah, the print edition.  It also happens to be my local newspaper (living near a nation's capital can have odd twists).  But its easier to turn paper pages while I eat my lunch than mess up my laptop.  And I recycle/compost anyway, so little is wasted.  But I am also always about a month behind, so reading the political, business, and sports news can be hilarious!  I read it mostly for the editorials.

So when I received a letter from The Washington Post, I expected some notice that my subscription was unpaid due to an expired card.  Nope.  It was good news.

The Washington Post has run a humor contest called 'The Style Invitational' each Sunday for 1,150 weeks.   The weekly contests always some some odd theme or another.  Write a limerick one week, caption a silly drawing the next, combine 2 Kentucky Derby racing horse names and come up with a funny name for the offspring, create a motto for a politician, etc.

I've sent in entries a few times, but because I'm behind on the reading, the deadlines are usually past.  But I always read the winning entries because I admire the cleverness.  There are usually a top 4 of winners and a dozen or so Honorable Mentions.  Winners are referred to as "Losers" (it IS a humor column, the top 4 get prizes (like T-shirts saying "'Im a LOSER",  cheap plastic coin banks shaped as outhouses, fake Dracula teeth, etc).

First time winners get one of those cheap pine tree car air fresheners, and even that is a joke.  The air freshener is a "fir stink" (first ink).

 I got my "fir stink" in the envelope!  Hurray, I'm now a recognized LOSER!

The person who manages the contest (The Empress) doesn't have to give out very many "fir-stinks".  The weekly winners ("losers") are usually pretty much the same group of very talented humourists.  A new loser (also called a "first offender") is rare.  Hurray, I'm RARE!  And a "First Offender"!

For the record, the Week 1,142nd contest was to combine any 2 names into a Twitter handle and write a tweet by the hybrid person.  Most just used real people names.  I combined Secretariat (Kentucky Derby race horse winner) with Hillary Clinton for "@SecretariatHRClinton", and the tweet was "So I'm supposed to just keep running to the left?"

I'll leave everyone to figure that out themselves, but will explain if asked...

The winning entry was "@OrangeJulius:  Could be well mov'd.  My friends in the House are sticking knives into me."  That shows the difference between a winning entry and an Honorable Mention!  It succeeds on multiple levels.  I was, as my Aussie friends would say "gobsmacked".  No wonder some of these weekly participants win frequently! 

But I think I may try entering the contest more often.  There are, apparently, anywhere from a few hundred to a few thousand participants each week (some contests are trickier to get a grip on than others).

I am outrageously delighted with my "First Ink" and want another shot of INK!

Writing Process Blog Tour

Well I was sure surprised to discover the Mews had nominated ME for the next Writing Tour Blog Post.  I USUALLY know what they are doing, but I DO get caught off guard once in a while.

So, apparently, I have to answer 3 questions and nominate some other blogs to carry it forward.  OH, I see, they didn't want to find other blogs to nominate...  Typical of them.

1) What are we working on? Well, aside from my own blog (which tends to get a political as elections draw nearer), I am getting back to writing some prehistoric "Just So" stories a la Kipling.  I enjoy that.  Not much competition there.  Like writing about the discovery of gold, arrows, farming, taming horses, etc.  I wrote a quick one about recognizing the first constellations just a few days ago. 

Its nothing meaningful.  I'm not much into character development, though I think I did a decent job of that in 'Gold'.  Wrote a few shorts about cats.  But I'm mostly trying to get back to the "Just So" stories.  Those are fun to write.

My own blog is sporadic.  I write when I feel like it, but mostly spend my time fixing up the Mews' blog so their thoughts are readable.

2) Why do we write what we do?  I write because I HAVE to.  Too many thoughts and too few close friends to inflict them on.  I have a few ways to go in my writing.

A.  I could write about what I dream, and those are pretty odd sometimes, but whole tales.  I dream well and wake up often, so I recall them.  I'm not sure what people would think, though, and it would be a bit stream-of-conciousness.  Fortunately, my dreams aren't about monsters, or embarrassing situations.  I would need a recorder at the bed for them to get the good details

B.  I could write about the cats.  But I suppose I'm already doing that (though they might disagree).  Or I could write about family.  I would have to disguise that severely.  That might not be too hard; I doubt anyone in my family would WANT to claim I was writing about them.

C.  I could write some sci-fi.  I've sure read enough, and I keep up with current science.  How hard could it be to use "dark energy" since no one knows what it is?  LOL!  Just a few days ago, I wtched a BBC production about aliens attacking the Earth (similar to but not quite 'War of the Worlds' and also vaguely like WWI.  And my main thought was "I could do THAT" (and better).

Like many of us, I think there is a book in me just waiting to come out.  But I'm more a short story person.  But every time I think of writing anything, I think of 'The Star' by Arthur Clarke and know I can't beat THAT!

3) How does our writing process work? I write because I must.  If I didn't write, I would just implode.  Did you ever watch the movie 'Conagher'?  At one point Evie is attaching short notes to tumbleweeds to drift out into the plains to express her loneliness and says (something like) if I don't write, I shall just die.  I feel like that sometimes.

I really do feel like that sometimes.  I can't NOT write.  Whether poorly, inconsequentially, or ignored, I just have to send my thoughts out into the world.  It's not for the cats, it's for me.  I just HAVE to.

Well, so HOW do I write?  All at once mostly.  I get an idea and go with it.  I don't have a plan.  I seldom even have an ending in mind.  I just start writing with an idea and see where my thoughts take me.  Characters develop in ways I don't expect and they surprise me.  Plots twist.  Directions change.  And all AS I am writing,  Sometimes it is great.  Mostly it sucks.  I've deleted a WHOLE lot more than I have ever kept.  Most of what I write is terrible and makes little sense after I re-read it.  I pound my keyboard hard.  I have to buy a new one every few months.  Well, I get THAT excited when I have a good idea.

But sometimes I write something I like to read myself and that is all that matters.   I forget who said he liked to write stories he would like to read, but I'm like that.  Heinlein, Asimov?  Not that I'm remotely close, but I just mean I understand.

The best sentence I ever wrote was "And died" (it makes sense in context).  I worked days over that one, clarifying a thought from several sentences down to 2 words (a rare editing on my part).
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And now I must nominate 3 blogs to move things along.  And they should be cat blogs (or related to cat blogs.)

I nominate (without checking first)...

1.  Katie Isabella

2.  Herman's Hideaway

3.  Ramblingon

All some of the best writing I admire...  Maybe I had best warn them.