Nearly OK

I'm beginning to get back to normal.  Not that I mean I will be jogging down the street and digging up the garden soil anytime real soon,  or walk down the stairs carrying an awkward load.  I still feel the stiffness in my hips and the separation of the clavicle from the scapula will probably always be slightly annoying.

The difference is that I can free-walk in a relatively straight fashion rather than waddling a bit side-to-side now.  I CAN carry things even down the stairs (keeping it light).  I can go up and down the stairs when I feel like it rather than carefully planning 1 or 2 trips a day.

I went outside the other day to fill the 3 birdfeeders (1 of which involves using a 6' stepladder which I was VERY careful on).  I dragged the trash bin to the street even with snow on the driveway (I'm going to let it just melt - no WAY I'm shoveling even 3" of snow).  

I had been just filling a large bowl with kibble for The Mews, but I am getting them more canned foods the past 2 weeks.  We were running short anyway, so I ordered more last week and Deb brought the large box in for me.  I got it opened and sorted out into the pantry yesterday.  Ayla really appreciated it; kibble is not her favorite food.  Marley likes both.  Laz grew up on kibble, so that is fine with him.  But I prefer feeding them canned.

I can get down on hands and knees to clean the litter boxes myself.  I can do laundry normally, but I am transporting it downstairs using a tall (unused) rigid kitchen wastebasket as a support on the stairs (I go down backwards and up forwards.  I watered the basement lettuce etc trays myself and that took some walking back and forth from the laundry tub and the lighted plant rack.

Driving the car is easy.  It is nice to just go out and get what I need when I want it.

I guess my biggest question now is how much and how fast I will finish healing.  It has been going well after the first couple weeks, and I feel better every day in general.  But I COULD hit a wall at some point. It is POSSIBLE my hips will always feel stiff after this.  Or that, when I get more active outdoors, my shoulder will always feel "loose and weak".  

The orthopedic surgeon said I "probably" will never need surgery.  My primary Dr (internist) has the same separation I do (he let me feel the lump on his shoulder) and says it doesn't bother him after several years. But they may not understand quite how physically-active I was around the yard.  Since I live alone and have no family or friends nearby, I push myself pretty hard sometimes by necessity.

So I worry about it.  My life may or may not change permanently.  On the other hand, while I seem to be aging slower than average, I AM aging regardless.  At some point, things I could easily do be before would be becoming more difficult regardless of falling off the ladder.  

I certainly can tell the difference between what I could a few months ago (pre-fall) and what I could do at 50 or 30.  It is part of the natural course of life.  If I need to move a large rock, I just need a bigger lever.  If I need to do something too difficult and awkward after this, I'll need to call a "handyman".  LOL!

If I am seeming to make light of all this, it is because I'm accustomed to do that about personal difficulties.  Trust me, a part of my brain is "yelling and screaming" about being injured and getting older.  But since I am injured and getting older and that can't be avoided, I shout that part down and decide how to get on with things.  

A LOT of people have it much worse that I.  And it could have been much worse.  I remind myself I could have landed on my head and died or landed in such a way to cause some various degree of paralysis.  I wouldn't handle that last very well.  I'm not sure I could deal with that!

But let's be cautiously cheerful.  If I was stuck as I am today, I could deal with it.  And I DO expect to heal more, after all.  A couple months from now, when gardening season REALLY starts, I may not even notice a difference.

We'll see.

Thank you all again for the continued good recovery wishes and advice.  They have made a difference.  It is good to have friends...

Tree Saplings and "Stuff"

I once read that an optimist is "someone who plants small trees when he is old".  Well, yes I am and I did.

I MAY see these 4 trees grow and bloom and I MAY not.  That makes little difference to me.  I just like to DO THINGS that suggest the future.  I sometimes think of the future without me alive in it.  It takes some thought...  But I can picture the yard with newly-planted saplings at least grown to blooming age.

I planted 2 Sourwoods and 2 Korean Dogwoods.  The Sourwoods have a bad-sounding name, but where they grow, they are gorgeous.  Burgundy leaves and bunches of gold seeds in the Fall.


The Dogwoods are great in the Spring and the Korean dogwood doesn't suffer the disease that is infecting American dogwoods.  So I hope to see Spring and Fall colors.  It may take some time for them to grow to full color in their seasons.


One day, this property will not be mine.   I'll be gone in some way or another.  But I have a vision of the yard.  I should have striven for that idea years before, but you do what you can as you can and not look back TOO much.

My personal vision of the yard involves perennial flowers, some spots where there are mostly self-sowing flowers, and some places where are specific plants to help the hummingbirds, butterflies, and bees thrive.  And that is aside from the thistle seed feeders for the goldfinches and the sunflower seed feeder for the cardinals and purple finches et al.

It may seem odd that I dislike Robins, but they eat my earthworms and I kind of resent that.  But they need their food too, so I leave the lawn-clippings on the surface for the earthworms to eat as best they can.  Nature balances when you let it.  If I didn't have healthy soil, I wouldn't have earthworms, and if I did't have earthworms, the Robins wouldn't be marching across the lawn finding the least careful worms.

I do sort of wish the Robins hunted voles though...  I would love the Robins better then, LOL!

The best thing is that I'm 68 and I still have PLANS!  LOL...  The day I don't think about "next year" is the day they haul me away.    I think the best way to stay sane while aging is to imagine "next year".  New flowers, new tomatoes, etc...