Saturday Surprise

I have been getting my wine, meat and deli stuff from a small specialty store for 20 years.  They are great on meat (both cheaper and better quality than chain stores), cheaper and better deli products too.  Their wine selection is great.  So is their specialty liquors (I found apple liquor there for a 'Golden Dawn' cocktail.

They are even the only place I can dependably find egg roll wrappers.  And they are also the only store around who seem to understand that Golden Delicious apples should be gold and not green!

Well, at checkout, confetti fell from the ceiling and a horn blared...

I was their 1 millionth customer!  Boy was I surprised!  I got my stuff free.  They took some pictures too.  Manager and me.  Cashier and me.  Apparently, it will show up in the local newspaper (I'll have to buy a few copies for posterity)!  I'll post pictures when I get them.

Things like that never happen to me.  So this is a real surprise...

The Baseball World Series

I cant believe it.  The Washington Nationals won the World Series!  It was a record-setting sequence of games...

It was so weird.  As a Wild Card Team they played a one game contest against the other Wild Card Team, the Milwaukee Brewers.  The Nationals won.

Both of the best-of-five National League Division Series went the full five games. This was the first time since the 2012 NLDS that both series went to five games.

The Washington Nationals, winners of the National League Wild Card Game, upset the top-seeded Los Angeles Dodgers. The Nationals were 19–31 on May 23, then went 74–38 the rest of the season to finish in the top NL wild card spot.

They then played the St Louis Cardinals, winning in a 4 game sweep.

That meant they would play the Houston Astros, the team with the best record in MLB this year.

The Nationals won the 2 games at the Astro's stadium, suggesting an overpowering series.  But then, at home, the Nationals lost all 3 home games.  All the Astros had to do was win one of 2 games at home.

They didn't.  For the first time in MLB history, the home team lost every game.  From down 2-3 games and having to win both of the last 2 games on the road, the Nationals won both.

The Washington Nationals are the World Series winners.  On Saturday, the town held a parade.  Basically, all the roads were closed.  People went crazy. 

We are used to having winning teams here.  Yeah The Washington football won a few decades ago.  But suddenly, we have the Championship Hockey Team, the Championship Womens Basketball Team, and now the Championship Baseball Team.

I don't expect that will last, but it sure is enjoyable while it does!

Snake

If snakes give you the "willies", stop reading.  But this one is harmless and eats only mice and moles...

So I went out to get my mail today, and saw this sitting on the driveway.  I looked at it for a while.  I wasn't sure if it was alive or not.  I mean, it was "LUMPY".

While I was looking at it, a guy drove past and then backed up and got out of his car with a camera.  We considered it.  I said it wasn't dangerous because it wasn't a viper.  I thought it is a black snake.  He said he just kills any snake he sees and I said they are rather beneficial (though I sure wouldn't want to step in on by surprise).  Even non-venomous snakes have teeth.

But it wasn't moving and it looked odd (lumpy).  The other guy said, he didn't think it was dead becuase its head was up (that was a really good observation I had missed).

So after taking a couple pictures each, I tapped its tail with my newspaper .  It twitched!  After another tap, it started slithering away, and went up a TREE! 

I was working under a tree once and felt a slight stinky spray.  I looked around and saw nothing.  Then a snake (just like this one) fell onto the ground right next to me.  HEY, IT PEED ON ME!

But I just shoved it with my boot and watched it slither away.  Well, it was no threat to the cats or me, so I admired it.  Snakes are fascinating.  There are few creatures who have completely unique ways of moving around.  Bipedal humans, kangaroos, and snakes...

Here is the snake climbing up in a small tree...

It wasn't there 15 minutes later, so I suppose it was a lot more worried about ME than I was of it.

May it catch many mice and moles...   Live long and eat well, black snake!

Ancestry

I got one of those DNA testing kits in November and sent the cheek swab off.   I learned the results today.

Before I mention the results, let me say I only did it on a lark to see if something really odd showed up.  My mother's side of the family is French, through Quebecois Canada for a couple centuries at least.  Her dad's side was from Southern France and her Mom's was Parisian (family lore).   No formal genealogy, but I had great-Aunts who only spoke Canadian French, so that seems solid.

Dad's side of the family is claimed English and German.  His dad's side supposedly was traced back to England in the 1600s (by last name only), but all I can find is back to the mid-1700s in the US.  His moms's side was Pennsylvannia Dutch (German), records fading out in the mid 1800s (looking back though time).  The family name seems to have come from a Norman word for "pantry server" (dispenser).  That would have been a castle position of English kitchen-workers, possibly a high point in the lineage of general serfs.  (I think that meant the equivalent of controlling the office supply cabinet).

Dad and then I did some research a decade ago, and all that seemed solid.  So, I thought maybe some Canadian Indian (not all that uncommon in Canada, all those French Trappers wandering the wilds).  And possibly Dad's English ancestors included some Norman French (Vikings who settled in NW France) and/or even direct Vikings who settled in England.  It's not like my ancestors seemed to be world travelers.  Indeed, our family history seemed to be a rather boring line of farmers and small-time merchants.

And I look so much like Dad that his friends used to wave at me as they drove by while I was mowing the lawn as a young adult, thinking I was him.  And Dad was similarly like HIS dad.  No concerns there.  

I should also mention that I am self-taught knowledgeable in evolution and genetics.  I know basically how DNA works.  I also know that (like in cats and dogs) a variety of genetic mixing makes for a healthy individual.  And I haven't caught the flu since I was 12, never catch a cold, and I am a cash cow to my health insurance company. 

So I expected DNA ethnicity results something like 45%+ English, 45%+ French, and perhaps 1 or 2% of American Indian and/or Scandinavian.  Guess what MyHeritage.com says I'm NOT?  ENGLISH!  Not a drop...

I had to laugh out loud! They say I am 43.2% French/German/Netherlands, 36.7% Irish/Scottish/Welsh, 13.5% Balkan, 5.0% Iberian (Spanish/Portuguese), and 1.6% Middle Eastern!

If I understand this correctly, it means my ancestry is 43% non-Norman French and German, 37% pre-Anglo-Saxon native groups (Celts), some wandering Balkan traders who inter-married in either France/Germany/England, some poor lost Spaniard, and maybe some Arab.

I see a family of Welsh or Scots (not Irish - no red hair in our family) living under Anglo-Saxon, then Norman viking rule in England, leaving Great Britain in the 1700s on paternal side.  And some French moving to Canada in the 1700s on the maternal side and moving to the New England US to work in the textile mills around 1920.  Somewhere around 1930, Dad's grandparents moved from  Ohio to New Hampshire

I think this is GREAT!  Maybe the most "interesting" $69 I ever spent.  ASSUMING that the DNA tests are actually accurate...  I may try to learn more about that.

I have to add a disclaimer though.  Humans have about 30,000 genes and the ancestry tests choose which ones they think most useful in determining ethnicity.  And I know from my own interest in the subject that some genes persist from VERY long times ago.

For example, I may have a gene string that randomly persisted from some Middle East ancestor 10,000 years ago.  My ancestors may have lost some critical gene string that shows English ancestry. 

But I'll bet not.  It seems I'm not genetically English at all.  WOW!  I'm going to repeat the test with a different company and see if the results differ (after checking the internet to see if they do independent lab work.

Have any of you had this kind of test done?  Did you think the results agreed with family history?  Did you get surprises?

While You Sleep

Have you ever considered what goes on in the world when you are asleep?  I know that when I go to bed, I am totally cut off from the world.  And the first thing I do when I wake up is turn on the radio on the headboard (tuned to a news station) to hear of events.

But what if something really important happened while I was sleeping?  What if the Yellowstone Supervolcano erupted?  What if India and Pakistan exchanged Nuclear weapon attacks?  What if the Sun went dead?  I mean, I would just sleep for days waiting for dawn and get colder and colder and colder.

I say this because I had the strangest dream last night.  Aliens arrived on Earth, and I didn't know about it.  And they were good aliens.  They announced they would take everyone who arrived at any major city by dawn to a newer better Earth2 (since they knew what we needed and had found one), and I slept through it.

I ignore the phone at night, I don't have smart phone with alert apps, and I doubt neighbors would beat on my door to tell me the good news.

Actually, it would be bad enough just to not know that some virus had been dropped in my area by some terrorists...

I suppose this has something to do with a feeling of lack of control over my life while I sleep, but it is still an interesting question.

"What if something really important happens when you are asleep"?

Getting Busy Again.

I got at the rototiller, mower and snowblower yesterday.  None of them would start on the previous day's try.  I tackled the rototiller first, since I had an immediate need for it.  There was gas.  The spark plug was clean and dry, the air filter wasn't clogged with dust.  The wire controls at the top were moving levers down below.  No reason I could find  that it wouldn't start.  I had started it right up last year and it had been sitting around for several years with old gas in it then.

So I tried this trick about leaving the air filter off and spraying carborator cleaner insidethe exposed carborator, waited a few minutes to let it dissolve old gas, gave it another spray for fuel, and pulled the rope a few times.. It coughed, sputtered as I tried to adjust the choke, and died.

But that was better than before!  So I gave it another spray of the cleaner stuff and it stater again.  And died.  Took 2 more tries before I get the choke adjusted to keep it running and then it purred like a kitten.  Well, OK, its not a quiet machine.  I sounded like a congested bear snoring in hibernation.  But you get the idea.  I used it immediately!

Wheeled it to the big bulb bed, set the manual depth at 3" and went through the weed/grass roots easily.  The occasional baseball-sized rock made it jump around a bit, and I had to make sure it didn't till down too deep (I was going over some existing bulbs).  Took only 15 minutes, but that beats at least and hour on manual spade work. 

I raked the area and was pleased to see no bulbs dug up.  I knew where they were generally.  I planted then from the outside edge inwards, but I hadn't marked there they stopped.  Fortunately, I have found a couple of good pictures, so I can estimate where to plant the additional ones this year, but that's anouther post.

So, encouraged by getting the tiller running, I attacked the mower.  I was in trouble from the start.  There is a hollow rubber priming button you push 3x to get some gas into the system.  I pushed it in, and it wouldn't come back out.  UH-OH!

Well, I then tried all the same tricks as with the rototiller, but it wouldn't even cough and sputter.  It had to go to the repair shop. 

So I checked the snowblower.  It has electric start and it wouldn't start.  I checked the spark plug, I checked the air filter.  No problems.  Sprayed in some carburator cleaner.  No luck.

What is the first question the computer repair guy asks?  "Is it plugged in"?  Well, I checked the gas tank.  Bone, dry, clean.  Not even dried old gas.  I must have done what "they" always tell you to do with seasonal equipment; drain out and or absorb it out with a old clean towel, then run it until it stops.  No gas left; no bad gas left.

So I added a cup of gas, started right up!  I let it run for a couple of minutes out on the driveway.

2 out of 3 ain't bad!  

Tomorrow:  Two errands in one trip!

Bathtub Area Replacement

First, getting up at 7 am to be ready for the demolition crew was a novel experience.  Second, getting the cats stashed away into a safe room was only a partial success.  Third, no renovation work ever goes smoothly.

I managed to get up on time, fed the cats, and went to get them into the bedroom.  I called them and Marley and Iza came right in.  Ayla was not so cooperative,  sensing that "something" was up.  I know better than to chase a cat, I just follow slowly.  But she was ducking from room to room and upstairs/downstairs until she was upstairs and I wasn't sure where she was.  I figured she was either in the Mews Room or the Computer Room, so I just closed both doors.  It turned out she had to be hiding in the Living room somewhere.  I swear that cat could hide in a coffee mug!  But since she stayed in hiding and didn't try to run out through the frequently opened front door, all was fine. 

The bathtub area demolition was impressive.  I took a LOT of pictures for possible insurance reasons, but I will only inflict a few of them on you.

The before shot shows the mess.  When the tiles began to come loose, I duct-taped plastic around the front and side, not realizing how bad it was getting behind the plastic.  And under that situation, tub-cleaning seems to have fallen off my schedule.

So, they went in and just started pounding the tiles and backer board into pieces.  Well, the plastic was more waterproof than the tiles were!

Bathroom renovators are notorious for finding "more repairs needed" when the backer boards are removed.  These guys said everything looked mold-free and no rot.  I looked at it and agreed.  I don't know tiles, but I know about wood.  So they vacuumed all the dust and debris.

And started to replace the backer board.  It is a special concrete and laminate product that basically can't rot.  So was the original stuff, but after 30 years, the modern product is better.

Next, they installed the new tub and covered the inside with padding and plastic.  And it was a good thing they did!  Because after that, they constructed and installed the new pipes.  I wasn't thrilled to see them using a plastic pipe, but they assured me that it is better than copper pipe.  "Not one failure in 10 years and it sheds mineral deposits that can collect in copper pipe with hard water".

Well, I have soft water, but if the cemented plastic holds better than soldered copper, OK...   BTW, the first day I moved in here 30 years ago, I tasted the water and decided it was the best municipal water I had ever tasted!

So then we had a few "adventures".  The first was a pipe cap blowout.  You see that copper pipe sticking out over the tub?  There is a temporary pipe cap.  The Senior Repairman said they are called "shark valves" because once on, they never come loose until you want them to come loose".

So guess what came loose?  Right!  The shark valve...  The assistant went running to the door shouting at Senior guy that "the water is on".   Well, yeah, it had been turned back on, but I realized he suddenly didn't WANT it to be on, so I ran into the basement (bad knee and all) and crawled into the access where the whole-house shut off valve was and closed it.

That apparently saved about 50 gallons of water pouring out the open tub into the basement.  And I stuck a bucket under the leak. 

They were very apologetic.  Those caps "never fail".  Well, until they do, of course.  At least I got some credit for fast-action!  The assistant is not the brightest bulb in a room of lamps, he meant "water is flowing and it shouldn't".  I had noticed the senior guy mad jokes about the assistant (his BIL) and I had joined in slightly, but I stopped after that.

But, no harm was done.  The plastic in the tub caught most of it and my bucket caught the rest.  The senior guy was really pissed off, but I joked "that was fun, let's do it again". 

After they vacuumed up the water and replaced the plastic lining with a dry one (and made sure I saw they were using a brand new pipe "shark valve" cap), they proceeded with the job with the water turned back on. 

Then the second little "adventure"...The last backer board to be installed was the one that fits over the tub faucet and shower valve.  That takes very precise cut-outs.  And senior guy cut it wrong!    Oh wow, did the assistant have a relieved turn with that.  I had noticed the the senior guy just wrote the cutting dimensions randomly on a piece of paper.  Well, I suppose when you have been doing something for 38 years (as he said he had), you know where your numbers are. 

Oops, he got the left and right measurements reversed..  No problem for me, it's a fixed price contract (and the senior guy did mention that it comes out of company expenses.

I mentioned to him that when I put wood paneling in the basement, I had been careful to use a huge piece of cardboard from a bookcase box to make sure I cut it right.  Ans then traced that onto the wood paneling so that I COULDN'T get in wrong.  And got it wrong ANYWAY because I put the cardboard on the wrong side of the panel.

True story, but it did lighten up the situation...  The last thing I want are angry embarrassed workers doing work in my house.  I've done enough house work myself to know that when you get mad, you don't do your best work! 

So senior guy cut out another concrete backer board panel and it fit like a glove. 

They return on Monday to install the bathtub fixtures and do the tile installation.

Ayla, Iza, and Marley recovered quickly.  Food helped, attention helped, deck time helped.  quietness helped.  But I bet I will have to get sneakier about getting them shut into the bedroom Monday morning.  At least the final work is quieter...

Garden Enclosure

I'm back at the 20'x20' garden enclosure project.  And while my initial goal was to maximize the framed bed area and minimize lumber purchases, I've concluded that I need to make some changes.

First, the framed beds were planned to be three 16'x4' beds.  And two 8" wide boards high per bed.  Second, my plan was to use only 2 of the 3 planned beds each year and let 1 go fallow (and solarized with a clear plastic cover) each year.  But even a 2" thick board will bend out over 16', so that meant annoying stakes for reinforcement.

And, well, a 2"x8"x16' board is really hard to handle.  And keeping 1/3 the growing space fallow/solarized each year seems wasteful.  So instead of those 3 framed beds, I'm building six beds 4'x7', two 8" boards high .  That means I can build all the framed beds using 2"x8"x8' boards, which I can haul home in my 8' trailer and I can actually carry those boards.  With 6 beds instead of 3, I can keep 1 bed fallow and solarized each year with less growing-space loss, walk around them easier, and build them easier.  I lose 24 square feet growing area (the 2' between the beds), but I gain 28 sq ft not being fallow each year, so its a wash.

I drew some pictures, but I just can't get the scanner function on the printer to work today (again)...   The first plan had three 16'x4' beds side by side.  The new plan has six 4'x7' beds in a 2x3 grid.  I had to draw rectangles in Word On Mac, print it out, take a picture of the printout, and upload the picture.  I'm just having a bad month with programs.

But here it is and you BETTER appreciate the effort to show it!!!  LOL!

 I spent about 5 hours fighting over several days with the usual programs to draw/scan/display, with no luck.  But it only took 2 minutes to draw it in Word, 1 to print it, 1 to take a camera picture of the printed page, and 3 minutes to get it to a small jpeg file.  Sometimes indirect ways are easier.

I need to reteach myself a lot of the programs; I don't use them enough.  And I suspect I better clean up my Mac.  It's running slower and even a Mac can get clutterred.

Anyway, I went out to dig the first of 9 holes to set pipes into to construct the enclosed garden (safe from squirrels, groundhogs, rabbits, etc).  After I dug down 4" in the 1st spot, I hit rock.  And I don't mean little baseball-sized ones.  I dug a 2' hole around that rock and couldn't find the edge.  So I tried the next spot where I wanted to set in a pipe.  Same problem.  I even tried breaking the rock up with repeated blows to it with a 5' beveled "breaker bar".  And nothing broke.  I caused no damage to the rock at all.

You never know what is under your ground until you start digging into it!  In my case, I knew from some experience that my property is a silt plain draining to a swamp.  There are pockets of pure sand, some of pure clay, and lots of hand-sized round rocks.  I didn't know about the 2'+ rocks...

I think a geologist would conclude my property used to be a river path, with large rocks just under the surface that silted over with sand and clay millenia ago. 

I can't dig those up, I can't use an auger to drill through them, I can't ignore them.

Well, wait, I CAN ignore them!  The purpose of digging the holes around the garden-to-be is merely to set the upright PVC pipes in place.  So what if I build a base of PVC pipes ON the ground instead of INTO the ground?

Instead of burying pipes in the ground, I'll make a frame of pipes on the ground with attachment connections sticking up.  And I can attach the ground level PVC pipes to the ground firmly with 2' rebar rods.

Newest problen solved...  I assume I will discover other problems before the structure is completed, but nothing that can't be overcome.  Well, solving the problems is half the fun.

The initial plan was to assemble the upright pipes and then assemble the beds after.  The plan NOW is to assemble the first 2 raised beds to establish one edge of the new layout, fill them with soil, then disassemble the other old framed beds, and clear THAT area for new construction and move the remaining soil from the older beds to the new ones as I move along.

I know this is hard to imagine without pictures.  I'll be taking many as the project continues.  Promise.

But at least I am getting started on it again and solving the problems I didn't expect.

New Deck, Part 2

What a couple of days!  Pictures at the end as a reward to those who read this whole chapter (or you can just skip down, LOL).

YESTERDAY: 

First, the foreman of the team that will actually build the deck was to arrive between 7 and 8 am to mark the spots for the posts.  I had barely gotten dressed (and all that routine morning stuff) when the doorbell rang promptly at 7.  I was shocked, but pleased not to have to wait.

The first surprise was that he went to mark a spot on my patio.  I stopped him to ask "why so close to the ledger board"?  Ledger board is a support attached to the house to support joists.  Turns out that ledger boards are no longer used so that decks are technically "free-standing".  Why?  So that if the house falls down while people are on the deck, they will be safe.

WHAT?  Well, it's The County Code and you can't argue with it.  That was my first big laugh of the day. 

So he sprayed an orange paint X on one spot and measured 6' further and was about to paint another X when I stopped him again.  "Thats directly in front on the sliding glass door.  I won't be able to move anything in or out of the basement.  Safety exit, too".  So he called someone and told me it can be 8'.  Just past the door.  OK, but 2nd big laugh of the day.

Then he went to where the posts had to go in the lawn.  I thought those were fine, so "no comment".  If it seems like I watch contractors carefully, you're right!  They do the damndest silly things sometimes.  I learned a lot from when the house was built almost 28 years ago.  I lived 60 miles away, so I visited every weekend to see how things were going.  Afterwards, I wished I had set up a big tent in the backyard and just lived there for 6 months so I could check on things every evening.  Utterly impractical of course, but I would have had a better house.

So then the guy tells me the hole digging team would be there "After Noon".  Not "This Afternoon", "After Noon".  They arrived at 3 pm.  But they said it would only take 2 hours to "punch out" the holes.  Fine.  They had a gas-powered auger and some 5' breaker bars (aka crowbars) and a post hole digger, and the 2 guys looked like former football players.  I figured there would be no problem.

The first 2 holes in the soil near the house went fine, about 30 minutes each.  The holes have to be 2' square and 2' deep.  The hole inspector (yes, the County must approve the holes for the main posts - "Code").

The 3 lawn holes farther from the house were a different matter.  After the 4" of topsoil I'm built up over the years, they hit rock-hard clay and sand that their auger would not dig into.  They were "upset" (If I could understand most of what they were saying, I probably would have learned some VERY interesting new phrases *Coff, Coff*). 

They alternated between hand and power tools after that, completed 1 and 1/2 of the 3 farther holes by quitting time (5 pm on the dot).  I pointed out that the hole inspector was scheduled to arrive between 9 and 10 am the next morning.  I thought that was cutting it close...

But just before they left, they drew a 2' square around the 2 painted Xs on the cement patio.  So I asked about that.  "THAT" led to my third big laugh of the day.  They have to cut holes in the cement to make holes just like in the lawn!  "Why can't you just put the posts on the cement patio"?  "CODE" again!

Apparently, they have a huge circular saw that cuts "right through" cement, but not to worry, the soil under the patio was certain to be looser and would "take no time".  And they would be back at 7 am "plenty of time".

So it took them 2 hours to dig 1.5 of the 3 farther lawn holes.  Then it should take them another 2 hours to dig the remaining 1.5 lawn holes.  AND they had to cut through a cement patio, bust of the cement, remove it, and dig 2 more 2' deep holes in the dirt underneath in then "zero  to 1 hours time" depending on when the inspector arrived.

I apologize for the length of this, but more will be happening tomorrow, so I need to get through "yesterday and today" now.

TODAY:

One digger arrived promptly a 7 am.  One thing I will say is that these people ARE punctual!  He went right to work struggling to auger, chop, and dig his way to the 2' depth required.  With no better success than yesterday!  The other guy arrived at 8 with a helper.  And while one guy and the helper went at the lawn holes, the other guy went at the cement patio with the huge circular saw. 

OK, progress...

The contractor himself showed up at 8:30 am to make sure the holes were finished pre-inspection.  What a surprise he had!  He watched them work and than looked at his watch.  I casually mentioned that there was no chance of them finishing the holes before 11 am at best.

So the inspector arrived at 9:15.  Failed them, of course.  Rescheduled for tomorrow morning.

It took til Noon before they got all the holes "done".  They just disappeared while I was in the house.  I measured all the holes, and they were at 22", not 2" full feet.  I hope they don't get failed again and need a 3rd inspection Thursday morning.  The deck will take 2 days to build, and it hadn't occured to me that Friday is the Independence day holiday, they don't work on weekends and that would mean until Monday before the new deck is finished!

Now, for some pictures and comments:

One of the Big Red Xs.

And on the cement patio.  Little did I realize that meant cutting into the cement.  I assumed at first it was just for post anchor bolts.

The auger they used for drilling holes in the soil.  Carefully cropped for my more sensitive readers.   The guy on the right had his pants and underpants halfway his butt most of the time.  There is a REASON that careless fat guys should wear suspenders!

One of the lawn holes they dug.

Cutting the square hole in the cement patio was dusty work.  I offerred him a workshop dust mask, but he declined.

Their assumption was that the cut cement would be easily broken up with a sledgehammer.  RIIIGHT!  They had to get a jackhammer.  And that took them forever.

They finally managed to complete all the post holes.  

All this, and the actual building of the deck is yet to start.  This preparatory rough work is (finally I hope) OK.  But the work I care about is the new construction.  I bet I experience more "fun" while that goes on tomorrow and Thursday.

Why Do I have Books?

Why do I have books?

I had to really ask myself that question today.  And the answer is "because I used to read voraciously" and "because I am very information-oriented".  I am the reason bookstores used to exist.  More succinctly, I grew up "pre-internet and pre-cableTV" and needed books if I wanted information or entertainment.  I used to come home from work, make dinner and then sit in a chair reading a book with a cat on my lap (back in the days of Mischief, Cat Ballou, and Sport-Sport).

I spent 50 years collecting books on varieties of subjects.  I have 60 linear feet of science fiction books, for example.  I also have nearly as many books on science, history, cooking, gardening, philosophy, evolution, fishing, nature, cats, geography, general reference, etc.  OMG, I even have a 3' long set of 40 year old encyclopedias!  What possible value do those have today when the internet is at my fingertips?  They do look impressive though...

But because I decided not to move, I thought it would be a good idea to de-clutter the house and make it look more open.  One thing I realized was that I seldom read books anymore.  So the first project was to reduce all the bookshelf display space. 

I was astonished at how much sci-fi I had.  I was also astonished to realize that I hadn't the slightest idea of the plot of at least half of them.  I packed those into 7 boxes for storage (I can't get myself to simply dispose of them, though I may donate them to some worthy cause later).  I kept the rest, but double-shelved them in the computer room bookcases to save space. 

Then I moved most of the information books from the living room bookcases to the newly-freed computer room bookcase shelves.  I could probably pack up most of those too, but I at least want to display my interests, and even with the internet, many of them are still useful.

The living room bookcases will become mostly for decoration and display.  I have some sets of books that are either valuable (anyone ever heard of "Real Books" or "All About Books"?), presentable (like the uniform 20something book set of gardening and the similiar fishing and hunting set - both from those "once a month" subscription series popular in the 1980s), or impressive (like Winston Churchill's 6 volume series about WWII).

[Speaking of Churchill, I have to mention one of my favorite anecdotes.  Churchill was seated at a fancy dinner party next to a stuffy old dowager who intensely disapproved of him.  At one pointed she hissed "Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison you".  To which Churchill famously (and immediately) replied "Madame, if I were your husband, I would let you".  Damn, I wish I could think that fast!]

Well, anyway, back to the books...  Almost all of the non-decorative books are in the computer room (my cookbooks are staying near the kitchen).   Some of the books I discovered I owned amazed me.  Books on magic tricks, odd things to do with common household items, Gray's Anatomy, World Almanacs, Twain's 'Life On The Mississippi', the collected works of Edgar Allan Poe,  college textbooks from the 1970s.  Just amazing stuff.

I might even start reading again...

Missing Skeeter

Today is the 5th anniversary of Skeeter's death.  Losing him still hurts.  But all things fade with time, and I almost didn't remember today was "The Day" until this afternoon.  I was actually looking at regular daily pictures of the current cats to decide which to use for today's Mark's Mews cat blog post when I glanced at the date on the computer and changed my planned post.

As the years have passed, I have posted less personal and detailed memories of his passing.  It is good to remember those gone, with love, but more important to attend to the living. 

That is not to say that I can read the early posts of the cat blog without a catch in my throat about those happy years with him (and most of our years together were before I started the blog), and I still can't read the posts and comments about his death without tears.

But there was a surprise.  I finished the brief post recognizing the day, and hit "publish".  The time on the post was 3:45 pm EST.  That was the very moment of his death 5 years ago.  It was a complete coincidence...

I am not one who pays much attention to coincidences.  I find them more "interesting" than "meaningful".  But it sure was a surprise when I noticed the blogpost time!

Some of it may not be very odd.  I often post in mid-afternoon, and after 2500 posts, I'm sure there have been others posted at the same time.  But I would be surprised if there were 2 other posts at the exact same time of day about such a singular event unintentionally.  I think (without checking) that I did deliberately post at that exact time on this date previously.  This was not one of those times.

A VERY Unusual Day

It was a dark and winter-stormy morning.  In spite of that, I pulled on my "viscious-winter coat", and went into the garage, where the sled awaited.  Then, I pulled off the "viscious-winter-coat", tossed it in the front seat, and luxuriated in the medium-green Elven(ish) cloak cleverly colored to blend in with medium-green grass, medium-green rocks, and medium-green rivers.

Leaving the animals of the house to fend for themselves, off I went on an ADVENTURE.  And none like I had ever done before.  THIS adventure was to meet with a tribe of CATWOMEN, partake of their strange rituals, talking ceremonies, and eat unaccustomed foods.  I myself chose a strange meal of burned bread, tomato, and crisped bacon.  It was so thick, I could barely open me mouth widely enow to bite on it.  But it WAS raucously fare vittle!

The first part of the adventure was getting to the ship.  Amazingly, there was snow, sleet, and freezing rain.  It was a hard slog, mateys!  Snow beat hard on the mainsails and the nearly came to brittle freezing...  Lost a few good men there on the upper sails I did.

Fortunately, there was some underground traveling through tunnels.  Dark they were and we met some strange travellers along the way.  Eventually, we surfaced through the dark.  The longest staircase I ever saw in me life appeared before me.  To my relief, the STAIRCASE itself moved me upwards (the crew stayed behind and ya will hear no more of them as they was all eaten by dinosaurs or somethin else happened ta them, but don't worry about them).  The staircase called "The Bethesda Escalator" took hours.  Verily, a "stairway to heaven".  Or so I thought.  It landed me in "a parking garage"...

In discussion with some natives, I found an entranceway ta the HUGE building above the cavernous passageway, and entered cautiously.  The room was FILLED with obsequious servents.  I inquired of one where there might be the designated "lobby" wherein I might meet the fabled Catwomen, but all the poor wretch could do was point around the very room I be standing on...

So I explored around a bit and noticed a room with the name Daily Grill.  That WAS the place we would be to eating in later, so I inquired about the foodstuffs offered therein.  Fine stuff; serious meats variously cooked for the men-types, and daintier foods fer the wenches (er Catwomen).

I happened ta mention I was there fer a meetin with the Catwomen, and the servent there said my name out loud.  I was shocked!  Apperently, the Sisterhood of the Catwomen was already gathered inside!  And I had arrived EARLY to scout out the place first.  A sad day when a scouter arrives last...

I immediately made my acquiantance to them all and I tell you, it was such a fine greeting from all.  I knew them all by reputation, of course, and they me.  It was a grand round of hugs all.  I haven't been hugged like that much if a decade!  It did me good.  I immediately cast off the "viscious winter coat" and sat meself down at the table, happier than a lost kitten finding his littermates.

OK, enough of that, LOL!

I found the ladies and was glad it wasn't difficult.  I had had visions of walking around the hotel carrying the Flat Mews overhead hoping that someone somewhere would recognize what they were. 

We had a wonderful lunch, sparkling conversation, discussions about cat-blogging, some sharing of personal thoughts about "the universe and everything",  memories of "cats-who-came-before",  and (as the King of Siam said in Anna And The King of Siam), "etc, etc, etc.

I was astonished at the Flat Cats in attendance.  I had made a quick version of The Mews (best picture I could find that I printed on cardstock glued to cardboard) the night before (thinking it was pretty good), but you wouldn't believe THEM!  Three times as big, and not a bad cut edge in the bunch.  I gotta work on that, and I learned a lot just by seeing the Good ones (ALL the others).  But they all admired the poorly done Mews annyway.  Talk about "kind"...

We had a GREAT waitress!  Maybe it was a "tiny" bit because it was a really slow day (bad weather and the local Pro football team having a home game), but she really liked us!  We found out at the end of the meal that she had supported feral cats at her previous house and really liked that we were all "cat-people".  She even used all our cameras to take group pictures!

Memo to self, check Bethesda Hyatt Regency Daily Grill site and see if there is an "I love This Server" option...

 And we gave her a 33% tip... 

Now, I have to say that I am really inexperienced at meeting new people in groups after so many years living by myself.  There were Gifts.  I didn't bring any... Dang, and I "considered" at least bringing fresh Nip leafs for the kitties and Truffles for the ladies.  I decided "it was just lunch".  And Ayla even told me to bring some things.  I SHOULD have listened to her...

Well, you live and learn.

But all good things must come to an end.  We had to part eventually, after a great lunch and great conversation.  I had a WONDERFUL time, more than well-worth the trip in the bad weather.  I got on the MetroRail, had an easy trip from Bethesda to Branch Avenue (about 10 miles straight under Washington DC), had a few fun minutes scraping frozen rain off the car windows, and driving home.

There WAS a slight scare.  My "low tire inflation" light came on 7 miles from home.  Thankfully, I had no problems, but I sure with bring the air pump into the garage later today to make sure all the tires are inflated properly.  Could be a problem though.  I had the car at the dealership for regular maintenence last Thursday, and I thought tire pressure was one of the things they checked.  Not that I don't know how the check it myself, but since I thought THEY just had, I didn't bother before going out on (what was to ME) a major trip.

Now for some pictures (and you thought there wouldn't be any LOL after all these words)...

I take a picture...

Teri takes a picture with my camera...

 Group picture by the Wonderful Waitress...

All the Flat Cats (see The Mews tiny in the front?).

Cat swag...

Me swag...

I haven't had a BETTER day in years.  Glad I braved the weather...

A Blast From The Past

I used to play a complex strategic computer game called Civilization 2 (not an action/shooter game).  There would be a large map (unseen at the start) and you would slowly establish and improve cities with military, civil and science improvements.  You would discover the map as you moved slowly.  You started around 3,000 BC and very gradually moved to launching a spaceship to Alpha Centuri competing with up to 6? 8? other players.  The game took many hours to play.  I was obsessed by it.

But I quit when the new version (Civilization 3) of the game gave less and less control to the player and whole cities would switch sides to another player for no particular reason I understood ("through cultural influence").  And then I switched from Windows to Mac and my CD didn't work any more anyway.  So I moved on to blogging.

Well, I suddenly developed a great desire to play the game again.  I still had the old PC around and thought to have it cleaned and upgraded, but then decided that I liked internet multi-player competition, so I simply bought the Mac version of Civ 2.  The CD should arrive in a few days.

But I wanted to review some of the game strategies and looked at the current Civ 2 discussion board.  Its been 7-8 years since I played.

Imagine my surprise when the very first post I saw was advice FROM ME.  LOL!  And it was quoted by someone else as "from veteran player xxxxxxx", ME.

THUD!

It is going to take a while for me to get back into the details of the game.  This rejoining the game is going to be VERRRY INTERESTING...  I'm going to get KILLED at first until I remember the old strategies and catch up on the new ones.  But that's the kind of thing that keeps the brain working, you know?

I could die of many causes.  But brain boredom ISN'T going to be one of them.  LOL!

[Update:  The Civ 2 CD arrived today.  I am devastated.  The CD is too old to load on my up-to-date Mac...  My anticipated thrill at playing Civ 2 again is stomped by technology failure.  It looks like I will have to get the old Windows computer cleaned and working if I want to play Civ2. 

A Surprise Visitor

Poor pictures, but the best I could get from through a window and far away.  I was in the house and saw a huge bird swoop into the backyard.  I intially thought it was a turkey due to the large body size. 

I assumed that if I opened the deck door for a clearer shot, it would fly away before I could get the camera to focus on it.  I was right about that.  When it DID finally fly away, the picture I got was so blurred it could have been anything from an elephant far away to a spider on the camera lens

But when it flew away, I could see it was obviously a vulture.   I couldn't imagine why a vulture would fly between and under trees.  There was nothing dead out there; I had been at that spot not long before.

The only thing I can think of is that the spot it landed was where a tree stump had been ground in January.  I had an old bag on corn gluten meal that had gotten damp and packed hard as dry brown sugar and I couldn't break it up well enough to use it in my lawn spreader.

So, thinking of what I could usefully do with it, I remembered that wood chips take a LOT of nitrogen from the soil.  Therefore, the fastest way to break down wood chips would be to put a LOT of nitrogen on them.  Corn gluten is very high in nitrogen...  So I had dumped the bag on the pile of wood chips and pounded it down into smaller clumps.  The rains have been dissolving it into the wood chips.

I know that vultures are said to hunt by sight, not smell, but there is a full leaf canopy overhead, and the vulture came in under the trees from downwind.  I think that it was attracted by some smell from a lot of nitrogen in one spot beginning to react with the older wood chips.

But it sure was strange...

Ouch, Ouch, Ouch!

So,  I realized that I left some tools outside a few hours ago and went trotting out to put them away.  I forget the rule of never leaving anything on the steps (even the outside ones).  I had stacked some small wooden blocks on the lower deck steps.  I would have been ok, as they were sheltered by some pavers blocks I am used to being there, but one wood piece seems to have fallen over.

I stepped on the corner of it and lost my balance.  Normally, that would have been OK; I am a bit agile even when falling.  But there were those pavers and bricks stacked up.  My left wrist smacked the pavers.  My wrist is fine, (well there IS a nice linear bruise from the watch)  but my watch isn't.  Lost a pin!  The watch flops around.  So I taped it in place, LOL!  It won't win any fashion contests but it's OK until I get a replacement pin.

I know that this seems all lighthearted, but I was actually THIS close to breaking my wrist, knocking out a tooth, breaking my ankle, or putting out an eye (I found myself staring at a paver corner real up close and personal).  And my ankle is sore.  I COULD have broken it but it feels better already.  Still sore though.  I'm lucky on stuff like that.

But I've removed all the stuff on the deck stair.  If you have stuff on any stairs, do the same.  You really don't want to look at the hard corner of a paver stone from an inch away...

Dad vs The Hurricane

The newest surprise has been hurricane fears.  It's happened before.  Dad hears a weather forecast about a hurricane or other serious weather and wants to take immediate action.  The problem is (among many, of course) that his sense of distance and time are pretty much all shot now.

One time last month, there was a tornado alert.  The path was a good 30 miles away and no threat.  But either "30 miles" seems "down the street" or he thinks tornados are very large.  I can't tell by asking.  But he wanted to know where we should seek shelter, what foods we should bring into a shelter, etc.  I explained that the tornado THREAT was quite far away, and I did explain to him that the house shelter is under the basement stairs.

Its a reasonably good shelter, for not being constructed as one.  The basement is cinderblock walls.  The basement stairs go down from the front door.  The space under the basement stairs is covered with 1/2" T1-ll plywood on one side and a heavy workbench on the other. I made a 2'x3' cutout in the T1-11 panel for access years ago.  So an area about 4'Wx3'Hx8' (sloped under the stairs) is surrounded by heavy plywood, cinder blocks, cement steps, and stairs above.  Not that I expect to ever need it (it was all happenstance of construction),  but its nice to have.  Still, it took a while to calm him down.  Now his concern is that it might take too long to get into it, LOL!.

Hurricane threats aren't all THAT sudden, but I said I would drag him downstairs and into the basement shelter if necessary (with a smile in my voice) but such drastic steps won't be required. 

It really started when I was smoking a pork shoulder on the deck on Friday.  He came out and said my plans were about to be ruined.  I asked why (looking at the sky for a thunderstorm). He said a hurricane was coming and would ruin the cooking.  He said it was on the TV, so I went in to look.  Hurricane Sandy was down level with  Florida and about 500 miles east.  Moving at about 4 miles per hour...  I told him it was about 3 days away if it even came past us, but he didn't believe me.  After all, CNN was warning about a hurricane and "it was close".

Actually, I was glad for that because I knew it wasn't an immediate threat.  But Dad was convinced we were going to get hit by Hurricane Sandy that afternoon.  Again the worries about power loss and no food.  We had to make preparations for being without food and power for days, he insisted.

I went through the drill.  We have underground cables and almost never lose power.  We have plenty of food frozen and that will stay good at least a whole day.  I have canned food.  Potatoes and corn are good for days at room temperature and I could cook on the grill on the deck if we needed to (not that we would need to).  Heck, if I had to, I could trap a few squirrels and cook them in the fireplace!  I've skinned and cooked a few squirrels in my life.  And the closet has a few weeks worth of cat food (for the cats).

Dad shouldn't be all that worried about hurricanes.  He never had a traumatic experience with one (well, OK, he lost a boat to one in 1968, but it was never a personal threat).  Its the developing fear of "threats" that I am seeing now.  I do my best to make sure he feels secure and safe these days.  There isn't much more I can do to convince him that I will take good care of him that I'm not already doing. 

It saddens me that he does not trust me factually or in my judgement.  I understand that he fears things that won't actually happen because he has difficulty understanding that a hurricane striking Cuba isn't going to strike us here in Maryland later that day.  But I guess it is difficult for a parent to realize that a (adult) child is knowledgeable and experienced.  Even when the "child" is 62.  LOL!

Living with an elderly parent is a lot like living with a young child.  Only opposite.  They both don't have knowledge.  The difference is that a child will slowly become more competent and an elderly parent will not.  Its that "not" that is so hard to deal with.   

Living with a child is (generally) seeing it learn. Living with an elder parent is seeing it forget.  Watching the forgetting is very hard.  Very frustrating.  Very confusing.  Children don't even notice a sound in the kitchen.  A parent is in there, so it must be OK.  Dad reacts to every strange sound.  If a knife falls off the cutting board, he hobbles in and asks what that "explosion" was.  If I tap the veggie scrap bowl into the compost can, he thinks someone is "banging on the door".  Yet he can't hear the phone ring.  I think he hears better when he is dozing off in his chair and a sound gets into a semi-dream.

I'd sure rather be raising a child with some promise for the future than dealing with an elder parent for whom things are only going to get worse...  Knowing that things are only going to get more confusing in the coming months is sad.

I'm trying to get past arguing with him when he says things that don't make much sense.  But he SEEMS rational most of the time.  The change can happen without a sign one moment to the next.  I have to "let go" (thank you Nellie's Mom) and not be corrective about the small things.  That's going to be difficult.  Father/Son dynamics, and all that.

I guess that, in this matter, the hurricane is a good thing.  There ARE serious concerns that are not basically irrational, just mis-estimated in time and place.  Well, better something real than him worrying about Black Helicopters and Aliens...

Dadisms

Salad dressing is "paste".

The cats are "dogs" and they (2 female 1 male) are all "he".

Paper clips are "safety pins".  Or do I have that backwards?  He wanted safety pins for his pajamas and saw paper clips, thinking they were safety pins.

Any pile of brown leaves in the back yard is a "groundhog".

The paperclip/safetypin one was the strangest this week.  He came out looking for safety pins.  He said he had seen 2 on the dining room table.  For those of you with organized rooms and lifestyles, I should mention that our "dining table" is only partially for eating at.  Its also our general desk for bills and newspapers, etc.  So after Dad fussed around with his bills and seemed to be trying to  attach them together, it occurred to me that Dad might actually be looking for paperclips, of which there ARE 2 on the table, but hidden behind the napkins.

So I picked them up and showed them, asking if these were what he was looking for.  He said "yes" so I dropped the matter.  For a minute...

He WAS actually looking for safety pins, and thought the paperclips WERE safety pins.  5 minutes of awkward discussion followed.  Wherein I finally learned that he really DID want 2 safety pins for his pajamas, and he was convinced that the 2 paperclips I showed him were what he needed.  I'm used to him getting the wrong word for things, but not the wrong actual object! 

The low point of the discussion was DAD:  "I've been alive a lot longer than you, and I know what a safety pin is (looking at the paperclips)! 

OOO-KAY...  He finally mentioned there were safety pins on the pajamas in his hamper.  So I got them and he went off and did whatever he wanted the safety pins for (I haven't asked - YET).

Thats when I noticed his toenails are all about an inch long...  I hadn't seen him barefoot.   Got to do something about that, since I guess he can't reach his feet anymore.  I don't mind clipping them for him, but you would think he would have mentioned it before.  Or not.  I'm still learning to be a caretaker.

Its all quite confusing.  Every day is a new learning experience.  In one way, that's good for me; new challenges are good for the mind.  Clipping Dad's toenails might not be quite the mental experience I would choose.  But what needs to be done WILL be done...

Well, some day I may have to help him wash in the tub or even wipe his butt.  I can wait...  Computer games are a sufficient mind challenge for now.  But it seems I'll be getting different challenges than I expected soon.

Living With Dad, 11

Mail time is ambiguous here.  Mail addressed to Dad keeps him occupied for an hour.  But afterwards, it keeps ME occupied for a couple hours explaining it to him.  Most of his mail is irrelevant (monthly investment statements, some is true junk, but some is important.  I won't filter his mail [well, I trash some donation requests that hit him up for more money every month just because he gave them money the previous month; he thinks the requests from the fire and police departments are "bills" and they are taking advantage of his confusion].

But it's the legitimate documents that cause the hardest problems.  Monthly bank statements, investment statements, actual bills for services to the previous FL house...  It can take an hour per bank statement, a half hour to pay a single bill, and something like a property tax bill is good for a day (because he wants to ask really odd questions that have obvious answers to ME but he doesn't understand).

Dad has resigned himself to accepting my "novel idea" of filing folders by subject ("water". "electric", "property tax", etc), bank names, investment company names, property locations, mainly because I simply went and DID IT one weekend.  He still doesn't understand it, but then, he can't recall the names of his electric or water company, so generic is the only choice...

So I've taken over the organization of his records.  I had little choice.  He had them all by month (sort of) and couldn't find anything.  When he first had his duffel bag, briefcase, and two fat folders of documents, I asked him to find his birth certificate,  It took him 2 hours.  Now there is a file for that.  And of course, files for about everything else.

Today was the 4th or 5th time I've shown him the file folders I made "for the first time" to his mind.  I'm getting used to the idea that some things are new to him every time I mention them.  Well, maybe I should say "getting resigned to the idea".  I'm still always surprised by what he forgets from even one day to the next. 

I do want readers to understand that I do not take this lightly.  Sometimes with a bit of tolerant humor (beats crying out loud), but never "lightly".  I understand that Dad's present is my future...  It doesn't look like a lot of fun.  Mine may be worse.  Dad has me (and 2 other children and some grandchildren.  I don't.  When I, and my brother and sister, are Dad's age, they will have adult children but I will only have nieces and a nephew.  Adults don't take care of Uncles like they do Parents.  I better hope for some major medical or technological advances (like mind transplants to robots).  Or I am going to have to just go to sleep on the deck some Winter night and not wake up.

Today's odd moments:  Dad received junk mail from some investment firm, and assumed that meant he had an account with them.  He couldn't figure out how to fill out the enrollment form (since he assumed he was already enrolled).  I had to go through all the files, one by one, to show him there wasn't a file for that company.  Then HE had to go through all the unsorted junk in his briefcase searching for a reference to that company.

THEN he decided maybe he should take cash out of savings and invest with them.  So I had to spend a half hour reminding him that he just cashed in some decent CDs in order to have "cash on hand" for medical emergencies, so he shouldn't make new investments.   Its tiring, and I can't get anything useful done around the house while he is fussing about this kind of stuff.

I should filter his mail, but I can't get myself to do that yet.  He has a right to open and read it; it is my responsibility to guide him in deciding what to do.  But I will probably have to do that soon.  His memory for even simple daily things is going. 

Multiple odd events:  Tonight, he couldn't remember how to make a martini, his several nightly drinks for decades.  I knew, though I never liked a martini in my life.  His is equal shot gin and dry vermouth in a small juice glass, over ice.  Doesn't seem like the James Bond martini, but whatever he likes is his business. I took a spoonful of one a week ago; it was HORRIBLE!   I like my self-named Cavebear Slings (shot gin, shot Pomegranate Liquor, 2 shots real pomegranate juice over ice, fill with ginger ale).  If you like fruit-oriented drinks, try it. 

But he couldn't remember how to make the drink he has liked for 60 years!

Another odd event was that I put his tossed salad on the table (I always make a tossed salad).  He asked if I had put gravy on the salad (yeah, he confuses words like gravy and dressing, and sometimes he says "sauce").  Anyone would look at it and know I hadn't, but he can't think of doing that these days.  That's a bad sign.  On the other hand, at least when he uses the wrong word for something, it is a related word.  It would be worse if he had asked if I added "marbles" to the salad.

And I'm not relating these confusions on his part to make fun.  It's serious.  I'm writing about this so that I have a record of them.  I need to understand where his memory is failing and where it is still functioning.  Partly, I want a dated record of such confusions, but mostly so that I can understand where I can trust his memory and where I can't. 

That matters because I don't have the best memory in the world.  I never have.  Do you recall math  and science classes in high school where you mostly memorized formulas and diagrams to use them on tests and then mostly forgot them afterwards?  I could never remember the formulas.  I had to mostly figure them out each time from scratch and a few recollections. I got "Bs" in spite of that.  I'm also not very good at remembering names or what I said in the previous email.  I remember faces very well.  I can pass someone and know that I "know" them.  No name comes to mind though...

I bet my memory is worse than Dad's before I am his age.  I see it coming...

So I am probably going to lose my memory sooner than Dad.  That's scary, but probably inevitable.

Living With Dad, 8

Today is one month since Dad moved in.  Its gone a LOT better than I expected.  Which isn't to say "great", but you know what I mean.  It could be a whole lot worse.

Getting Dad up here was awkward, but my "too complicated" plans worked (thanks to my brother actually driving Dad from FL to MD over 2 days).  Settling Dad into the house was difficult at first.  Well, he went from a house of his own to a room of his own; that was hard for him.  Of course, he has the rest of THIS house now, and its bigger than his FL house.

Dad had a hard time getting used to the idea of being here as a resident, not a visitor.  I did too.  Nothing like (me) living alone for 28 years and then suddenly having a housemate!  I still haven't gotten used to having someone else around 24/7. 

The odd thing is that I've always been a happy loner, but I'm doing OK with Dad here.  I've always been good about adjusting to new situations.  Hmmm...  Let's correct that to "Ive always been good AT adjusting to new situations, even if I hate it and do it kicking and screaming at first".  Which of course, I couldn't do with Dad here being all concerned about this major change in his life.

So this was ONE time I surpressed the "kicking and screaming at first" and went straight to the acceptance part.  Well, I guess family matters.  I never had a family housemate since I left for college 44 years ago. 

Please don't take this wrong, but the idea that it is not permanent helps.  There will come a time when Dad needs professional full time care I can't provide.  It may not be all that long.  But it is uncertain.  He is both healthy and fading at the same time.  I don't know how to explain that (but of course, I will try anyway).

He is HEALTHY in that he has a good appetite, needs no personal hygiene assistance, can usually walk around on his own, and can deal with simple daily activities very well.  He can get in and out of the car, carry dishes to the table and back, help with some parts of the meals, etc.  When I say "healthy" I mean that his internal body (heart, lungs, etc) seems to be in good condition, and he is mentally able is daily things.

He is FADING in that he is having more difficulty getting STARTED walking around (his feet just won't go when he wants them to), is more hunched over, and possibly more forgetful than when he got here just a month ago.  When we were in FL, he could remember events of a week previous.  Now, a few days ago is beyond his recall.  So some things are fading in just a month, but other parts of his life are staying steady.

None of his doctors suggested Alzheimer's, and only one suggested "mild dementia".  I question the non-dementia part, though.  Its one thing not to remember what he had for dinner the day before (sometimes I have to think about that myself), but its another to not remember going in the car with me to deposit checks at his bank the previous day. 

He is generally happy...

He watches Fox News or golf most of the day, he enjoys my cooking (and he should - more on that below), and he has someone to talk to (Mom went into assisted care in 2009 and died in 2010).  I actually listen to him.  Its hard with old folks, but I register when he says anything and make sure I hear what he is saying and respond.  Even when it doesn't make sense at first. 

It helps that I have cats.  Don't laugh!  As parents always have an ear open to the sounds of children, I have always had a part of my mind attuned to the sounds of the cats.  That same part hears Dad all the time.  I can always stop what I'm doing and sit next to him to hear anything he wants to say.  And I suppose if I've done it for a month, I can do it for a year.

The hardest part is dealing with documents that come in the mail.  I've started just tossing the obvious junk mail, but most of his mail is uncertain as to importance.  I hate the advertising from established business arrangements most.  Some are important, some are junk, but they are all equally concerning to Dad.  I HAVE to let him open them.  I will NOT open any mail to him that might be important.  He has a right to his mail.

Even if it takes me an hour to convince him that some mail is not important and some is...

About the cooking...  In FL, Dad was living off (as far as I can tell by asking and by what was in his refrigerator/freezer) hotdogs, frozen fish filets, ice cream, and martinis.  It is very likely that the best thing the 2 weeks of rehab hospital gave him was balanced meals! 

And I've been doing that here.  That part is easy, I am just cooking the same stuff I normally eat, just twice as much.  Except that he MUST have a potato with each meal.  But basically, I have always had a meat, a green veg, an orange/yellow veg, a tossed salad, and sometimes a starch like spaghetti or rice.  Fresh fruits for dessert, though I kind of fell into a weakness for small slices of fancy cheescakes just before Dad arrived.

So we meet in the middle, sort of.  He has to get my good diet, but he also gets his ice cream for dessert and I get some fresh fruits into him with the ice cream.  I wish I could get him to eat more fruit.  He likes it well enough, but if he was ALMOST full and had a choice between ice cream and a good ripe peach, he'll go for the ice cream.  Well, he's 90, maybe I shouldn't worry about that so much.  If he made it to 90, ice cream probably ISN'T going to be what kills him!

Dad still does strange things.  Mostly "strange" because they are not what he did the day before.  I found a laundry hamper to fit in the main bathroom (he doesn't want it in his bedroom for some reason and the hamper in his FL house WAS in the bathroom).  And he usually puts his worn clothes in there.  But yesterday he "washed" his underpants in the sink and set them to dry over the air vent. 

Well, life with Dad isn't boring; there's always something new...

Mark

Living With Dad, 5

Today's (long-avoided) challenge was to start sorting through Dad's collection of documents.  He DOES have some documents in envelops, but they are more chronological than organized by subject.  I set up file folders a few days ago and took opportunities to let him see those (familiarity helps), but he hasn't liked the idea.  Maybe he hated files in his career job, too.

So I started slowly a couple days ago.  Loose documents and new mail showed up, so I showed him how I was putting those in the new file folders.  And there are a couple of CDs he wanted to cash in, so I typed letters to the banks (at their instruction) and had him sign the letters.  He fusses that the post office won't return the envelopes to him unless his name was on the return address, so I made him his own set of sticky-back address labels!  That made him feel better.

He even walked the envelopes out to the mailbox himself.  He didn't complain TOO much about that, so I got him to sit down at the table today to start sorting through the duffel bag of documents.  Most are copies of bill statements that have been paid.  He didn't want to keep those, yet he had them back through 2010.  I let HIM put those in the special "document trash box" I set up (with a big label he can read so that he remembers what it is for.  Plus, a special box will let me sort through it after he goes to bed so I can make sure nothing stays in there that he should keep.

It IS very frustrating sometimes.  He looks at old phone bills  and throws them in the trash box, then will look at the next old phone bill and dither about it for several minutes.  I am patient and explain the same thing over and over when he feels uncertain and forgetful.  Meanwhile, I go through dozens of other "same old bills" in 2 minutes.

We found many investment accounts I did not know about, so I made many new folders.  The "filing-by-subject" idea confuses him.  These days, he thinks in terms of "degree of importance" and wants to keep those most "important" things together.  It doesn't matter to him that one document is a birth certificate and the next is a certificate of deposit; those are both "important".  It takes some effort to convince him to let me put his (and Mom's) birth certificates in one folder and the CDs from the banks in separate bank folders.  He is CONVINCED they will be lost among the folders.

Later, I asked him to name anything he wanted to get his hands on.  He said "CDs", I produced them immediately (showing him the file folders).  Naturally, he still doubts the filing system.  I understand why; its not HIS system.  But I'M the one who will have to find documents...

We found last year's tax form, and we found a lot of 2011 tax documents.  He hasn't filed his 2011 tax forms.  I'll have to make a few calls Monday.  His last year's tax form preparer first, to see what they did for this year's tax form before he seems to have lost track of not filing them.  They seem to have done some preliminary work.  And we will NEED an expert in both Florida taxes forms and NH tax forms.  I can't do those!

I'll have to go to the IRS/FL/NH websites to see about filing for an extention forgiveness due to "medical problems".  This is going to be a BIG MESS.  But we'll get through it...

And have the duffel bag and a whole briefcase are yet to go through!  I can't WAIT to see what I discover next in those.  Dad was worn out going through 2/3 of the duffel bag of documents!

I am getting along.  My usual routines are all shot to hell and back, but I'm being flexible about it.  Fortunately, Fox News and The Golf Channel are good Dad-sitters.  He can watch them all day (though I get him up and about a few times and keep some conversations going about the shows.  And I get him out on the deck (and yard sometimes) for change of scenery and some exercise.

I get out to the garden.  I planted beans, cukes, and transplanted some basil seedlings today.  The tomatoes and bell peppers are doing well.  The cats are doing well (Dad responds to the cats well).  I make some time on the computer (obviously), but I can't take my time at it as well as BD (Before Dad).

The first 2 weeks, I spent all my time around Dad as if he was a guest so that when he wanted anything I was there.  I'm getting a little used to leaving him alone for some time, and I have been talking to him about treating this as his own home.  At first, if he wanted some potato chips as a snack, he would ask me.  I THINK I've convinced him that he can just go get anything he wants anytime at all, even in the middle of the night.  I understand his reluctance (I think).  If he just "gets" food, it means he lives here, and he still wants to think this is just temporary.  After a few more weeks, he will forget he lived anywhere else recently.  I'm serious, he is already forgetting living in FL.  He barely recalls staying in the rehab hospital for 2 weeks just 4 weeks ago.

And let me say that I sometimes repeat myself here.  Between this blog, emails to friends and family, and discussions with various businesses, I sometimes lose track of what I have said to who, when.  So forgive me things I've already mentioned.

Life goes on. but it isn't always a straight line.  There are sometimes dips in the road.  LOL!

But we are managing, and that's the important thing.