Time is Relative

What do you do when you don't fit a 24 hour clock?  I was an early bird as a child, a reluctant waker as a college student.  I managed to keep a schedule that got me up at 5 a.m., home at 6 p.m. and to bed by 9 p.m. for 35 years in a successful career.  But now that I am retired and have no requirements or obligations, I can't keep a 24 hour waking/sleeping schedule.  I mentioned recently that I was on a 25 hour clock.  I understated it.  Its worse than that.

Its more like a 28 hour clock.  I go to bed and can't sleep for hours, then finally sleep for  8 hours on and off.  I end up in bed for 12 hours.  And then I don't feel tired for at least 16 hours.  That's just not normal!

I have, at times, engaged in computer games or discussion boards way too late at night.  I used to think it was because I loved the games or discussion.  But I am realizing that I just wasn't tired.  And who can go to bed when they aren't tired?  What's the point of going to bed when you aren't tired?  You can't sleep.  You just lay there aware and awake.

Its nice to have the cats there to scratch.  They aren't keeping me awake, but they are nice to have something to give attention to while I lay in bed frustrated that I can't sleep. 

So I finally get tired of layin in bed and get up at 4 p.m. one day and 8 p.m. the next and dress to get the mail and the newspaper.  I check the email.  I check the cat blogs.  I would say "depression", but I don't feel depressed.  I enjoy doing things in the yard/garden and playing with the cats.  I enjoy preparing meals.  I enjoy listening to political and news TV.  I feel fine physically.  I'm just OFF the clock and not sleeping well!

There is a reason I am writing this at 4:30 a.m.  I'm fully awake and not tired.  I can't blame the cats.  Iza sleeps peacefully in the corner of the bed.  Ayla sleeps quietly on the top of the shoe shelf or on a pillow on a chair.  Marley doesn't even sleep in the room.  He likes the computer chair or a platform on the kitty condo.  My personal clock is just all wrong....

It is really messing things up.  I am NOT going to try and then get stuck on sleeping pills.  That is not a road I want to travel.  Well, thanks for just letting me complain...  My Mom always said that "getting old isn't for sissies" and maybe all this is normal.  But all the old people in my life just got up EARLY each day.  I don't know what is going on.