Special Chicken

I forgot to mention the "Special Chicken" in Canada.   As we were driving toward Algonquin Provincial Park, we stopped to buy a chicken to cook over a campfire the 1st night we were spending there at the regular family tent area.  The small store didn't have much, but then we didn't need much either.  The owner asked us where we came from and were going and then said he kept frozen chicken just for travellers like us. 

We had a cooler full of ice, so there was no chance of the chicken spoiling.  When we got to the campsite and opened the package and started to thaw it, it was so rotten that we gagged at the smell.

That guy KNEW we weren't coming back his way (we had said so), so he sold a frozen rotten chicken to us "Yankees".  Fortunately, the tiny campground store was still open and they had some canned beef stew which heated up fine by the campfire.

I hasten to say that everyone ELSE in Canada were unfailingly kind and helpful...  

But to this day, if any store-owner mentions "special", I twitch, LOL!

Algonquin Provincial Park, Canada

So there we were canoeing 12 miles uplake to the primitive camping area.  I was in the back to provide the power.  My friend and he was supposed to steer and I discovered he didn't know how to do that.  In other words, I paddled and he made me work harder.

It took all day.  I was disappointed that my friend had exaggerated his canoeing skills, but maybe he underestmated mine and thought we were more even than we were.  And when you are about to spend a week camping and hiking in wilderness, you don't won't to start an argument, you know?

So we found a designated campsite that looked good.  Seemed like a good spot to fish, the wind drifted in from the lake, and there was a flat open spot for heating our dried food.

We put on some mosquito repellent, made a quick dinner of rather boring freeze-dried spaghetti and went to bed.  It was a good thing my tent had a full front mesh cover.  Because we both woke up to see it completely covered with mosquitos trying to get at us!  Seriously, it was COMPLETELY covered.  That is a very scary thing to see.

But they were definitely night-oriented mosquitoes.  Or they gave up getting at us.  The next morning, I said well let's get out on a hike.  He said, why don't we try to catch some fish for dinner first.  Well,  OK.  So we went out in the canoe.  And caught nothing.  I had even caught a few crickets and a few worms.

Then my friend took a nap.  And I realized that if I wanted to hike around, I was going to do it alone.  Which is not safe...  So I didn't.

By the 3rd day, we were out in the canoe again trying to catch some fish.   I don't like fish, but the freeze dried food was pretty awful, so I could have eaten one.  That's when my friend (who was not skilled in a canoe) tipped us over.

I saw it coming.  He leaned too far over.  I yelled at him and tried to balance by leaning to the opposite side, but he outweighed me by 80 pounds.  Over we went!  Fishing rods, tackle, anchor, ropes, all overboard.

Thankfully it was only 8' deep.  But guess who can't swim or dive?  My friend.  And of course he wouldn't know how to get in a canoe without tipping it.  I tossed over the other anchor (attached to the canoe) to keep us at the spot and spent an hour retrieving our stuff while my friend put the stuff I handed to him into the canoe.

That night I said we were leaving in the morning.  It wasn't at all what I was expecting.  I was fine there, but he was completely inept.

We left in the morning.  12 miles can be a fairly long trip, especially when you are basically doing all the paddling.  As we got to the widest part of the lake, a squall blew over.  Suddenly the waves were 2' high.

My friend panicked and started paddling every whichway and I told him that if he did that we were going to die.  I told him to lay down in the bottom of the canoe and I would paddle quarterwise of the waves to the lee shore.

We got there, waited out the squall, and arrived in the main camp after dark (thanks to lights).

I asked the camp manager for a regular tent spot (which he gladly gave after hearing my sad story) and set up the tent.  My friend just fell asleep on the ground in it.  I went fishing...

Sometimes, you are just to worked up to sleep.  So I dropped a 16" bass I caught right at the dock on him,  the only fish caught on the trip, LOL!

When I learn that I do something poorly, I try to improve at it.  And quite frankly, I usually achieve "competncy".  And if it is something I just can't get good at, I admit it (like playing any musical instrument or learning a foreign language).   "Jack of all trades, master at none" is my life...

My friend never wanted to learn anything he didn't already know.  He refused my attempts to give advice on boats and canoes.  In fact, he seemed not to have a simple understanding of basic physical reality. 

Years later, when I had a Jon Boat (basically a rowboat with a sloped front), he stepped off the pier onto the boat.  With one foot on each.  Have you ever seen what happens when you stand one foot on a pier and another on a boat that moves?  Yes, he actually had his feet spread apart as the boat moved away until he fell into the water! 

I always thought that was a joke like slipping on a banana peel.  But it was real...  I watched him fall into the water.  It was only 4' deep there and the pier was only 2' above the water.  But he couldn't even get himself up onto the pier with my help (and he was 6'4") and had to wade to shore.  I'm amazed he didn't drown on the way.

Commercial Returns A Memory.

I saw a commercial today where some city types were in a country diner and asked about how hot/spicy the meal was.  The waitress said they had to sign a waiver, and the guy in the next booth snickered.

I've been there...

During the Presidency of Jimmy Carter, a friend and I decided to camp in Canada for 2 weeks.  We had been at the place 3 years before in the regular campgrounds, but we had decided to try some "primitive camping".  There were 2 options for getting there.  You could be electric-motor powered to the sites by the camp with some weight limitations or they would just give you a canoe and you were on your own.

I am a good canoer and an experienced camper.  And I wanted to hike through the woods each day.  My friend said he was too and wanted to do the same.  Falser words were never spoken...

We loaded our backpacks full of dried food, tiny white gas stoves to heat the dried food with water, and tent etc into the canoe.  We struck out early in the morning.  I being the smaller guy in the front to guide the canoe and he being the bigger stronger guy in the back.

I immediately realized that my friend had the canoe-paddling skills of a cow.  I'll continue about that another day.

But the point is that on the way out of the US, we barely could gas up on the even/odd day on my license plate.  We  had 2 hours and stopped at the last Chinese retaurant before crossing the border.  And it was a real Chinese restaurant.  There were real Chinese people eating there.  The menu was in Chinese!

So we saw an old guy eating a dish of chicken and red bell peppers and that looked safe so we said we would have that.  They weren't bell peppers.  They were some hot pepper that would peel paint off walls.

We utterly died!  I'm a real wimp when it comes to hot spicy things.  "Mild" makes my scalp drip sweat.  My friend likes "hot chili" and even he was sweating.  The old guy laughed and ate 3 superhot peppers while we watched.   But we were  very hungry and poor, so we ate as much of the chicken as we could.  We still remember the 100 Megaton Chicken...

We got into Canada just before midnight with a full tank of gas.

Chicken was not a success on the trip.  More about "special chicken" tomorrow...