Father's Day

 I am not technically a "human father" (so far as I know, and at 74, I probably would by now).  But I am a "Cat-Daddy" and that is sufficient for me.  It is actually an honor.  I have known some people who just have a "family cat" and if it disappears or dies, they just get another.  Like replacing a broken vase...

They matter more to me than a vase.  Each cat in my life has been a distinct individual.  A self-aware being knowing it had a life.  And everyone of them has been unique in some habits.    

I wasn't always perfect in my care for them.  Sometimes in my early years, buying them food was more on my mind than regular vet care.  But as my financial situation improved, so did their care.   I feel sorry for the earliest ones who could have lived longer, but I seldom had one who died before 12.  I do often wish I had those years and cats to live over with better.

so the past 35+ years have sort of been making atonement for the failures of the past.  i have gone from "cool, a cat in the house" to being able to take care of several at  time.  sometimes, it has been 2 (Skeeter and LC) to 4 (a couple of times).

Today, it is 4.  It could be calmer.  Marley always gets along with all cats.  Lori doesn't love Loki and Binq very much (but that is getting better slightly these days).  Loki and Binq love each other.  And they both like Marley.  

I used to resist the title of "Cat-Daddy".  Their actual daddies were unknown male cats.  But I am accepting the idea now.  I serve as a parent to them.  I don't quite know how they think of me, so I stick with "The Big Thing".  Well, I am big and not a cat.  They probably don't quite know what I am.  I am probably more like "Mom" to them (food, cleaning, attention), but for all they know, "Dad" would do the same.

I would be pretty much "undone" without The Mews.  I need them at least as much as they need me.  They talk to me as much as I talk to them.  Loki is particularly vocal (as were Ayla and Iza). 

So Happy Fathers Day to all you of actual "Fathering'.  And I will take my indirect "fathering" of The Mews with respect for the day.

 

Fathers Day (Late), But Other Stuff

First, Happy day-late Fathers Day to all Dads out there.  Since I am not one myself (unless you count The Mews), and my own Dad is deceased,I tend to forget it most years.  I mentioned it on The Mews blog around mid-day (when I finally realized it), but didn't post here then because I was busy.

Second, the "busy" was cooking chicken thighs in the smoker.  It was a total coincidence.  Last time I used it was late October.  Well, I've been learning to use the air-fryer since then.  But I bought 10 chicken thighs Friday, drowned them in dry rub overnight Sat/Sun and started the smoker up at Noon.  Naturally, a stiff wind sprung up after I started, so I had to spend more time than usual just making sure things were safe.

And I am safe.  Hose on and ready to use, welding gloves, long tongs, bucket of water below the incoming air vent (in case a bit of charcoal falls out through it), and the skoker is visible through the kitchen window while I am doing work inside.

Lori spent most of the time inside.  She was out when I started, but she likes to jump onto the smoker (she has never experienced it being hot).  And when she made a move on the deck rails toward it, I put her inside.  Like I said "safe".

The chicken turned out well.  I've read that all the smoke you are going to get into the meat happens in the first hour.  So I give it 2 hours and then finish it at 225F.  I can safely say you will never see me on one of the outdoor cooking contests, LOL!

Third, have had 2 minor but annoying wounds recently.  Contacted the Fry Daddy Friday night while making shrimp rolls.  It hurt at the time, but seemed to stop quickly.  Next morning, I discovered a blister the size of a grape.  Right between my right thumb and forefinger, and that was an awkward spot.  I soaked a needle in mouthwash (cheap sanitation) and popped it.  Don't go all "ick".  It is just broken cell contents.  

I dried it with a tissue, dapped some Triple Ointment on it and put a large flexible band-aid on it.  The band-aids hold against water, but not soap, so I've gone through 6 of them.  I leave it exposed when I can (heals faster), but it is a spot that gets brushed often in regular daily activities.  So it is annoying.

I also found a splinter in a finger.  Not anything important in itself, but I kept picking at it.   And when I finally got it out it wouldn't stop bleeding!  That is unusual for me.  I get a shot, they put a bandaid over it and it is clean when I take it off.  I cut a minor cut (I do live a wild life, LOL!) and a wipe ends the bleeding.  So this was odd.  So I end up with bandaids on 2 places on the same hand.  

Fourth, I have 2 digital kitchen probe thermometer/timers and 2 digital non-timing thermometers.  All of a sudden, none worked!  Three of them have batteries I can replace (love those rechargeable batteries).  One has a special battery.  I hate those round one-use batteries.  One registered the house temperature as 200F.  2 wouldn't display at all, and the last has to be tapped a few times to display.

Four all at once going bad?  That is like lottery ticket odds.  And none were especially accurate before.   I tested then all a few weeks ago (using a crushed ice/water slurry and then boiling water).  One of the digital kitchen probe thermometer/timers was 4F low and the other was 4F high.  I could deal with that putting labels on each.  

The 2 digital non-timing thermometers are more problematic.  One is WAY crazy and the other keeps changing the display 4F at a time.  The way crazy one needs the special round battery; the other uses an AAA baterry.  Replacing it didn't change anything.  Actually, I suspect the cabled probes have failed.  I'll have to see if new probes are cheaper than whole new thermometers.

Fifth, I bought an electric lawn mower a few years ago.  It was awful.  It has 2 batteries and each lasts about 5 minutes for light work.  So I bought a much better one (Ryobi self-propelled).  Each of the 2 batteries last about 30 minutes (self-propel takes energy), but it was worth it.  I only used it for trimming work.

But right after the warrantee expired, I hit something that caused the blade to stop turning.  I suppose the is a shear pin in there somewhere.  I keep planning to disassemble the blade connections and look for one, and I keep not doing it.  There is always something more urgent to do.  There is a mower repair shop nearby that mentions they repair electric mowers.  I should just bring it to them and pay to get it fixed.  I really miss the self-propelled feature (forward AND reverse).

Sixth, I got the 40 meadow flower seedlings planted days ago.  They all seem to be thriving and I can't wqait to see what they grow and bloom into.  But I strained my back and knees doing it.  Limped around for 3 days.  I'm finally feeling better today, so I guess I can go out and do something else to mess myself up again.  The garden enclosure that was damaged in heavy snow last January (oddly can't recall if that was this year or the previous) keeps calling out for attention.

Seventh, speaking of the garden enclosure, the problem is that the electrical conduit pipe I inserted in the PVC pipe was bent and in a couple places, the PVC connections actually broke.  FYI, the metal pipe was for strength; the PVC was for the convenient complex connections not available for the metal.  

It was all my fault.  Several years ago, a snowfall bent them slightly.  But I was able to straighten them in place.  So I added temporary supports at all the half-points on the top.  They are at awkward places in the garden, so the plan was to put them up in early Winter.  I didn't last year (was it 2 years ago?).  And when the forecast was for 2" of snow one night, I didn't worry about it.  But we got 8"!  Everything bent.

I never remember to keep the camera in my pocket, so no pics of the bent pipes...  😞

Well, any way, I was walking the yard and looked at the bent metal pipes and decided I was never going to fix the garden enclosure if I didn't straighten the metal conduit first.  How do that was uncertain.  But I tried sticking one end on the pipe under the shed It sits on cinder blocks).  That worked a bit but not completely because the ground was too sloped for full bending.  So I carried a cinder block to the other shed and put a pipe end under the riding mower trailer hitch and over the cinder block.  That worked.

Not that the metal conduits are as straight as when I bought them, but it was close enough.  That didn't help my back much, but now all I need is a PVC 4-way connector, 3' of PVC pipe (to replace what I had to cut off), and connectors to join the new short pieces.

I am considering buying serious black iron pipe.  A bit expensive, but snow wouldn't bend that.  I'll give the electrical conduit (with additional supports) another heavy snow before I try the black iron.

Eighth, I almost forgot about shaving my head.  Meagan asked why.  Well, several reasons.  I got tired of trimming my hair myself.  And I don't like going to the barber recently.  There are always a few people who just won't wear masks.  The last visit (last Fall), there was a guy coughing and maskless and I asked him about a mask.  

He was an anti-vaxxer.  Said he was a professional "pharmacueticalist" and that zinc and Vitamin C worked fine.  I said I doubted that, in the face of all the professional research and he got angry.  So I just said "no fight here" because he was leaving.  But I kept my mask on for a while until I had to take it off so the barber could shave around my ears.

The barber is a nice guy, but he isn't going to argue with anyone.  So I haven't been back since.  And so, I decided to just eliminate the need to visit at all.  Shaved my head...

Not like I still had a lot.  I was bald on the top anyway.  Not much to lose.

That odd thing is that my baseballs hats feel odd on my scalp.  I tightened each a notch and that helped them fit better.

Father's Day 2014

I'm not sure what to say, because I just wrote a memorium for him a few days ago.  Yet, that was mostly about his life, not so much about our Father/Son relationship.  I'll think about that...

Dad was absent in most family photos.  I don't mean the formal family pictures where some else took the picture, but the everyday ones.  That's because Dad was taking all the pictures.  He just doesn't show up in the pictures of us kids much; they were of "Mom and Kids". 

But I have memories. 

1.  Every Summer we spent a week with each set of Grandparents (who lived in New England).  The trip was easy when we still lived in Massachussetts, but became longer as promotions brought us to Maryland and Virginia.  And there were few highways back then.  So we got in the habit of stopping at the same motel overnight on the way.  It was kept clean and there was a swimming pool.  Well, I hate cold water and one day I was standing at the edge reluctant to jump in.  Dad walked behind me and gave me the slightest shove that sent me in! 

Later, while Dad was watching my young sister, I walked behind him.  And with the confidence that comes of "growing up" (I may have been 11/12).  He fell in.  Frantically waving the towel he was holding.  It was the last dry towel we had.  Well, not after he fell in!

2.  At about the same age, Dad taught me golf.  I'm sure he mostly wanted me to learn the game that both he and Mom loved, but he also wanted a caddy.  I of course wasn't good enough at the game to actually play with his group (Dad was a scratch golfer in those days), but I could pull his cart.  Well, I wasn't much of a prankster, but I had my moments (and still do - and learned it from Dad - see #1 above). 

I had found a fake golf ball (made of chalk but with a plastic coating and label that made it LOOK real) at a store.  I kept it with me each week and waited, and waited and waited.  FINALLY, he had a bad drive and had to hit a provisional ball (used in case the first ball could not be found).

Dad asked me to toss him a ball from his bag.  He set it on his tee, swung, and the ball turned into a cloud of dust!!!  He stood there in complete shocked silence for about 10 full seconds before I, then a playing partner, then the other 2 collapsed in fits of laughter.  And Dad STILL looked around confused for a moment before he realized what I had done.  THE BEST TRICK I EVER PULLED ON ANYONE MY ENTIRE LIFE! 

But you know what?  He never ever mentioned it in my presence. 

3.  Dad HAD a sense of humor.  He had one of the first battery powered electric shavers.  I didn't know about that of course, Dad shaved in private and my parent's bedroom suite was as foreign to us kids as the Taj Mahal.  So when he was one on the adults chaperoning us Boy Scouts on Operation Icicle 1966 (Operation Icicle is when we camped out on the coldest weekend of the year, usually in snow, and it got down to -5F that year.

So the first morning, Dad got up and stuck the plug of his electric razor into tree bark and proceeded to shave!!!  We were all stunned.  To our astonished questions, Dad just replied "Its all about understanding how to use electricity".  Which was true, of course, but none of us kids knew about rechargeable batteries in 1966.

4.  This memory involves both my Dad AND his brother.  We visited New England one year and my uncle brought us to a lake he knew well.  Uncle Allan was a professional fishing guide, so anyplace he brought us was sure to be successful.  Basically, we trolled around the perimeter of the lake with trout flies on weighted lines (technical details on request, but its too long for here).

Well every time we passed a particular spot, I caught a fish.  And the 2 "better" fishermen didn't.  After it was 3-0-0, Dad asked to use my rod, same setup.  No luck.  So Uncle Allan tried it too.  No luck.  When I had the rod back, I caught another at the same spot.  It is a mystery to this day.  I think I just had the "right touch" of twitching the fly that one day. 

5.  This one is a bit indirect, so bear with me.  I have been tearing up my 25 year old raised framed garden beds and the stuff I set between them to avoid muddy paths for 2 months.  Today I started hauling out the cut up chunks of old carpet, synthetic burlap and black plastic sheeting, and dumping them in my hauling trailer.

The brother of a neighbor came by and mentioned he had landscaping work skills and wondered if I needed paid help cheap as a cash side job.  I was tempted.  I feel worn out by this garden renovation project.  At 64, I can't do wht I did here at 36.  I could hire people to do this while I watched.  But doing it myself is a point of pride.  I got that from my paternal Grampa and my Dad.  They both taught me that you do any work you can until you are exhausted then you rest a while and go back at it.

So the neighbor guy's offer of below-standard-pay help was very tempting, but I declined.  It won't mean anything if I don't do it myself. 

Dad did heavy work when he was older than I am now.  I honor his work ethic by continuing to do as much as I can for as long as I can.  Like Father Like Son...

As many differences as we had, we had that in common.  There are many things I have learned to do in my life that Dad had no part of.  But there are many more things I have learned that Dad taught my very deliberately. 

For those things Dad taught me, I thank him.  For those things I learned on my own, I thank him for that too, because he taught me to learn new things.

6.  I will no longer be making birthday and Father's Day cards for Dad.  I will no longer be arguing with him in my mind (tell me you never "argued" with a parent in your mind). 

But on this Father's Day, for the first time, I do not have a living father (and Mom died in 2010).  And it is feeling strange...  Not mournful, Dad was 92, and died of general old age.  Its a sense of absence of elders I suppose.  I'm now the eldest of my immediate family, and that feels VERY odd.