Taxes

 It was gruesome!  Not because I couldn't do them, but because all the computer stuff was "off".

Last December, the laser printer stopped printing in color.  I haven't solved that yet.  But last week, it stopped printing at all.  Just kept saying "load paper".  Which I did without it working after.  And just before tax time of course.

I use H&R Block software (for about 10 years).  Never a problem.  I just check off boxes and add a few numbers (and they are very good saying "enter number in box 1A here").  And that sure helps.  I have index stocks, and (for example) one question is "foreign taxes paid".  Like I have any idea what that really means.  But they do.  So I go to the my index fund site and they tell my a number.  I add that to H&R.  

At the end, they do a review for inconsistencies.  If there are any, they send me to the place to review the numbers.  If not, my taxes are done and I just hit "print".  I like to send printed tax forms; it's just easier in some ways.

But here's the problem.   As I mentioned, my printer stopped working.  And H&R Block software said I had no internet connection.  Which was ridiculous.  I had just downloaded the software on the internet, I got an email confirmation security code from them, and my email is working just fine.

But I couldn't get to their help site online "no internet connection", according to them.  So I couldn't finish my tax forms, couldn't ask for help, and I couldn't even print out a filing extension form!  The printer call number said queue was an hour at best.  And I tried that one before with no success.  H&R was worse.  Not even a guess as to wait time.

I spent the entire past few days trying to fix problems.  It's maddening.  Trouble-shooting company sites send you around in circles.

But I finally solved the immediate B&W printer problem so I could at least print out the tax extension request forms from direct Federal and State sites.

That was only because it finally occurred to me to download the printer manual and search it.  Sure enough, it solved the problem.  Not that it was easy.  The manual addresses several models and even for my own, the displays didn't exactly match the instructions.  

Part of the problem is that my Canon printer can be used as a network printer and the defaults are set for that.  Stuff like needing a network ID and "secure printing".  Undoing all that was a real bad day!  The settings are so individual-unfriendly, you even have to specify the weight and brightness of the paper!  I suppose that makes sense on an office network where everything stays the same.  But sometimes I buy cheap paper.  

I did get that all undone.  But why did it work so well for 4 years and then suddenly stop?  Probably an update aimed at office network printers...

I hope I never have to do it again.  But the joy I felt when seeing a short document print out was HUGE!    

JOY!  DANCING!  GLEE!

Now I just have to get the color working again..  But B&W was enough to print the tax extension due-date forms, and that gets me time to deal with H&R Block software problems.

Still, I had to send Federal and State checks.  I had 2 forced withdrawals from my Govt Thrift Saving Plan and didn't anticipate that.  So I owe more than usual.  But the TSP  told me; I just didn't realize the tax consequences.

Live and learn.  But at least I solved a couple of computer problems.  That deserves a steak dinner.  And I don't care if it is actually 11 pm just before I have this post scheduled for "tomorrow", I'm going to cook one and eat it watching some superhero movie!  I'll catch up on the veggies tomorrow.

Feeling good...

Lost The Checks

They have to be around here SOMEWHERE but I'll be darned if I can find them.  I kept them in a shoebox (they fit perfectly).  I wouldn't have thrown them out.  If nothing else, the old statements are the records of my past addresses.  And I had more checks.  Or I would have ordered more.

I am utterly baffled.  I have searched through the house.  I've gone through every small box.  Room by room, drawer by drawer, file by file.  They have to be here. but I can't find them. 

What is worse is that I discovered this 3 weeks ago while writing my last check.  I ordered new ones as a precaution (sometimes you really do need checks and I am trying to buy a new car).  And I think the account number on the new checks are missing 4 digits. but I'm not sure if those 4 digits matter. 

Of course the bank had closed when I discovered this and won't open for 2 days and the lobby is closed anyway.

Losing my mind...

IF the car dealerships agrees to my offer (which I expect they will) I can't use these replacement checks unless I know they work.

I'm trying to buy a Mazda CX-5 Sport (I don't want a moonroof or fancy tires and I don't care about the comfort of the rear seats that will never be used).   But I need a working check... 

President Trump

I won't hide the fact that I don't like President Trump.  I don't say that (or anything to follow) to mean that others can't like him or that he has nothing to offer.  Just that *I* can't stand him and will say so for as long as he is in office.  And keep in mind that it is my OPINION, not some absolute fact of his incompetence. 

This past week has proven my fears about him to be correct.  I live in a world of evidence, proof, and fact.  To me, it seems his supporters live in a world of unsupported hopes and promises, decieved by a demagogue.  My apologies to those who like him.  You have the right.

Since President Trump was inaugurated, he has signed many Executive Orders intended to implement policies he promised while campaigning.  I never thought he would actually do that.

They are, so far, both poorly-written and unnecessary. 

The Order to the military to develop a plan within 30 days to defeat ISIS was laughable.  What does he THINK they do all day?  Plan how to stop another attack on Pearl Harbor? 

Proclamation 9570: National Day of Patriotic Devotion - Does the term "Fatherland ring a bell?

Executive Order 13765: Minimizing the Economic Burden of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act Pending Repeal - A first step toward eliminating health insurance to millions of needy Americans.

Memorandum for the Heads of Executive Departments and Agencies: Regulatory Freeze Pending Review - To stop all Federal Agencies from issuing new regulations.  Never mind emergencies and any good rules to protect the public.  All must stop.


Presidential Memorandum: Withdrawal of the United States From the Trans-Pacific Partnership Negotiations and Agreement - Oh good, our year's-long effort to create an economic alliance of Asian nations to restrain Chinese expansion shot to Hell!  The Philippines have just given up on us and surrended to China.  Others will soon follow.  The Donald wants to re-negotiate trade agreements with Asian nations one-on-one.  Loser move!

Presidential Memorandum: Mexico City Policy - The US will withhold funds to any nation or organization that assists in abortion services for any reason.  Any reason...

Presidential Memorandum: Hiring Freeze - Both Federal Civil Service and contracting hires are stopped.  This might be OK, contractors have long been used to make up for Federal hiring freezes.  But contractors have historically over-billed the government for services and been free of oversight and produced less than contractually-required.  In my government career, contractors have been scan-artists stealing billions of public dollars.  But freezing both will mean less government services and the public will learn that the "gummint" actually does good things that they will miss.  I always laugh when thinking about some conservative protesters who demanded that the Government "keep your hands off my Medicare".  Who do they think was providing it?

Presidential Memorandum: Construction of the Keystone XL Pipeline - Oil from Canada transported to New Orleans to be shipped overseas.  We don't get that oil (we have our own).  But we will get the environmentally bad oil spills (estimated at one per 5 years by the oil companies).  We don't need that. 

Presidential Memorandum: Construction of the Dakota Access Pipeline - See above.

Presidential Memorandum: Construction of American Pipelines - All pipes used in the US will be made in the US.  OK.  But "America First" was a rule when I was starting in Government in the 70s and it caused all KINDS of bad problems.  It is one of those things that sound sensible but don't work.

Executive Order 13766: Expediting Environmental Reviews and Approvals for High Priority Infrastructure Projects - Every President tries this.  It never seems to have any practical effect.



Presidential Memorandum: Streamlining Permitting and Reducing Regulatory Burdens for Domestic Manufacturing - An attempt to allow businesses to do anything they want.  Who cares about the public, anyway?

Proclamation 9571: National School Choice Week, 2017 - A strictly ceremonial proclamation, but it represents anti-public-school thinking. 

Executive Order 13767: Border Security and Immigration Enforcement Improvements - BUILd THE WALL.  Only the US will actually pay for it.  It can't really be built, and it won't stop anyone from getting past it.  Ask the Chinese about their Great Wall.  It didn't work.  BTW, if you like investments, consider Mexican ladder and tunneling equipment companies.  There might be a boom in sales.

Executive Order 13768: Enhancing Public Safety in the Interior of the United States - This is an attempt to force local police departments to enforce Federal laws at their own expense.  That isn't their job, and they don't have the resources to do it anyway.  The idea seems to be that harassing illegal immigrants will cause them to leave.  That doesn't work.

Executive Order: Protecting the Nation From Foreign Terrorist Entry Into The United States - This is the cause of recent and ongoing protests in the US and internationally.  The Order was so BADLY written that even naturalized citizens and Green-Carders from the 7 designated nations could not return from US military duty or legitimate business abroad.  IDIOTS!  And the Trump administration is backing off (screaming and kicking) about it.  They are still trying to hold on to the basic idea of keeping all Moslems out of the US though.

National Security Presidential Memorandum 1: Rebuilding the U.S. Armed Forces​ - Some plan to "bolster the military" but I can't figure out what the purpose is yet.  Something about the Office of Management and Budget helping to restructure military pay?

Executive Order: Ethics Commitments by Executive Branch Employees - A lifetime ban on lobbyists joining the Trump Administration and then becoming lobbyists again.  Only it applies to those who weren't lobbyists before.  So it seems this is some restriction on media, military, and scientists from ever becoming lobbyists later.  The purpose seems to be to prevent non-politicians from lobbying for general causes (like say science or environmental funding) efforts later in life.  Might even apply to protest organizers or people like Al Gore.  Not sure.

National Security Presidential Memorandum 2: Organization of the National Security Council and the Homeland Security Council - Trump has kicked several Security officials off the National Security Council and added a political ideological representative (Steve Bannon) to it.  Obvious watchdog/approval move.  This is unprecedented.  Does the phrase "Politburo" ring a bell?

National Security Presidential Memorandum 3: Plan to Defeat the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria - A repeat of a previous Order, but with some recommended changes to any United States rules of engagement" additions.  Meaning water-boarding and other internationally-forbidden forms of torture.  Yes, Trump has approved torture as a means of collecting information.

Executive Order:  Reducing Regulation and Controlling Regulatory Costs - Agencies would have to eliminate 2 regulations for each new one.  This could be silly or it could be horrible.  The main problem is that most regulations exist for a reason.  Business routinely cheat for profit and regulations exist to eliminate or at least reduce that.  If you want your chicken to be 100% contaminated with bacteria or your car tires to "only" blow out 10% of the time, you will love this one.

And that's just the first 10 days!  Get ready for illegal abortions, illegal protests, guns in every school and bar, and a super-conservative Supreme Court. 

Angry Voters

I have been hard on Donald Trump (and rightly so).  But I haven't discussed his supporters much.

I sort of understand them.  They are angry.  They are desperate.  They aren't living the life their parents enjoyed.

In a general sense, we all know that some people succeed in life better than others. And the others don't.  The reasons are not my point here.  My point is that they know the world is somehow passing them by, they are not succeeding,  and they are angry.  There are few emotions stronger than anger.

Hate is usually directed, anger is diffuse.

Trump has activated the angry people.  He wouldn't have gotten the Republican nomination for President if anger and fear wasn't a real thing in significant part of the population.

I do not fear Trump.  He will go down into crushing defeat on Election Day.  It is the angry people who concern me.  Their anger is justified.  They used to have decent-paying jobs putting headlights on cars, collecting coins from parking meters, loading luggage on airplanes, etc.  There used to be jobs you could just learn to DO without having to work on a computer, make decisions, or attend meetings and argue with people.  Some people are just not good at those things.  And they have fewer places to do work now.

And I understand because in the 1st 10 years of my adult life, I had cruddy jobs too.  I pushed a lawn mower in the hot sun for 2 Summers on an Army Base.  I spent 2 Summers pumping gas at a full service station where the owner dipped his sticky fingers into the till and charged us workers for the "losses". 

I worked at minimum wage in several department stores while the rent went up faster than my wages.  I even got to where I was in charge of a 1/4 of the department store and my hourly pay was 25 cents above minimum wage.  And the store managers cheated us every chance they could get because every dime they took out of our pocket went into theirs!

But I took a competitive exam for Government work and scored 100% in 5 categories of jobs.  That was because *I* spent my time in high school studying while "other" kids were goofing off.  I learned "stuff".  I practiced general skills.  I did well.  I was promoted regularly.  I retired well.

But not much better than the middle class in the US did in the 50s and 60s.  The high point of the US economy was when unions were strong (but not overly strong), when the percentage of the total wealth held by the top 1% was low, and when a college education for children was withing reach of most middle class families. 

There was a chart in Scientific American magazine a month ago that showed the percentage of national wealth held by the top 1% of Americans. 

In the 1920s, it rose to 20%.  At the end of The Great Depression, it was down to 15%, and the end of WWII, it was down to 10%.

In 1970, it was down to 8%.  After the Republican Tax Reform act of 1986, it rose rather suddenly to 16%, and after the 2000 Bush Administration, it went back up to 18%.  That is wrong.  The trickle down theory of wealth only means every one below the top 1% gets peed on.

The Republicans are doing it very very wrong, in pay to their super-rich supporters.  But the Democrats are doing things a whole lot better.

What we need is a Centrist-Union party dedicated to recreating the middle class.  No industrialized nation can survive without a strong middle class.  That is what makes democracy work.

Democracy works best when the poor have a path up, the middle class has some basic stability in life, and the rich are accepting a lower level than "outrageously fabulous".

I'll give a sports example...

Say you are a farmkid in Kansas and you have a choice between driving a tractor around cornfields for $20K a year vs earning $100K a year catching balls in the outfield.  Of course you would take the $100K.  But is it worth $50M.  No, you would do it for $100K. It is idiodically super-rich people playing their own game, competing with each other.

If they weren't, the seats would cost $10 and they would all still make a fine profit.  THat's what a generally middle-class world would look like...

Various Thoughts

1.  I emailed the company that repaired my heat pump, complaining about the qualifications of the regular repairman they sent (who was only saved when the Repair Manager came by to actually do the work).  After the Repair Manager left, the regular repairman used my hose to fill a bucket to divert the old coolant into and though I saw him turn the spigot off, he didn't do it completely.  Three mornings later, I saw water spraying out of a broken hose connection.  He hadn't turned it off completely!  The pressure stayed on for 3 days and I have NO idea how much water sprayed out as waste (that I will pay for).  They haven't replied yet.

2.  I have a company coming to remove/redo the entire tub area of a bathroom.  They keep calling to change the arrival time.  I don't consider that a good sign.  Darn good thing I am retired and my time is flexible.  Yesterday, they were coming today; then Monday; now Friday.

3.  I'm cleaning house before the bathroom demolition crew arrives.  Is that stupid or what?  Like they care?  Well, it needed cleaning and I needed the encouragement.  If I had more vistors, I would clean more often.

4.  I came across some odd stories lately.   The first one where some parent had to explain to the grandparents that the son couldn't read their letters because he couldn't read "cursive".  Oh damn, I feel ancient!  Like I've been writing in hieroglyphs...

Then there was the couple who visited Yellowstone Park and decided a baby bison was "too cold".  They "rescued" it into their SUV.  When they turned it in to the Park because they couldn't really feed it, the Mother and herd rejected it.  It had to euthanized.

Which reminds me of the idiot hunter (and I respect most hunters as knowledgeable having being one myself) who reported he had "captured" a deer.  It was a goat...

Which reminds me of the farmer who had had a cow shot by a hunter.  So he spray painted "COW" on all his remaining herd in bright red.  Yeah, some idiot shot one of them too, thinking it was a deer.

5.  I set up several 10-20' circles in the newly leveled parts of the back yard.  In one, I spread several pounds of "wildflower" seeds to create a natural area for pollinator bees and butterfly caterpillars to thrive.  So far, I have one orange flower and the same weeds that are growing in other places around the yards.  I may have to grow plants from seeds indoors and transplant them outside.

6.  I'm making a list of things for a general contractor to do.  There are things I can do myself and things I can't.  And some of the things I can't, I used to be able to do and just won't now.  I did electrical work in the basement when I was 35 and (one and only one time) I made a mistake and if I hadn't been sitting on a wood ladder, I would have electrocuted myself.

I felt "the buzz"...  And that's not the first time.  I once pulled of the spark plug wire on a running car and had the same "shock".  I'm lucky to be alive.

I know wood.  Wood can't normally kill you.  I'll stick to that.  For the other stuff, I'm hiring people!

Political Stuff

I'm worried about the Republican Party.  When I could first vote in 1968, I thought Richard Nixon was extreme!  His "Law and Order" platform against freedom of expression was scary.  This was when there actually were liberal republicans (like Senator "Mac" Mathias of Maryland and most of the New England republicans).  I considered myself a Republican back then (fiscally moderate and socially progressive).

Then came Reagan (aka "Ronald Ray-Guns" to my college and young professional crowd).  He was scarier!  Bush The Elder followed and he wasn't too bad (except that he once stated that he didn't think atheists should be considered legitimate citizens).

Then came Bush The Younger.  I didn't agree with him much, but at least he seemed sane (although a lightweight thinker, an embarassing mangler of language, and apparently controlled by that extremophile Dick Cheney.  "Mission Accomplished" and "Weapons Of Mass Destruction" will follow his administration down through history.  His utter inability to judge foreign leaders (“I looked [Putin] in the eye. I found him to be very straightforward and trustworthy" says it all.

And now there is The Donald.  The scariest Republican yet...  The man is deeply disturbed.  A neutral psychiatrist would have a field day with him.  Not that he is the only person like that, but he is a possible US President and that makes a WHOLE lot of difference.  I would try to describe all the problems, but a cat-blogger I visit said it better than I could and in more detail.  Read it HERE.

People think of Trump as a successful businessman.  He isn't really.  And I don't mean that he is a failed businessman.  Its that he isn't really a "businessman".  He is a marketing genius!  He sells his name.  He is like a Kardassian...  When anyone looks inside his enterprises, all they find is his name.  No substance, no product, no employment.  He is like a terrible driver who leaves a long string of bad accidents behind him and escapes them all.

Demagogues like Trump come along in politics every so often.  They usually fade soon enough before causing too much harm.  And there ARE some signs that Trump is beginning to fade as well.  He has lost a couple of State primaries he was expected to win and the next round of primaries are not suiting his style of ideology as well as the earlier ones.  So he may fade like Ben Carson (another lunatic) did in the past couple months.

One can only hope...

But you know what scares me the most?  His followers...  I don't care too much if some individual politician has delusions of grandeur, makes bizarre unrealistic promises, is ammoral, unethical, and changes views  as often as rock stars change outfits in concerts.  It doesn't fool ME.  But it sure fools his supporters.  And there are a LOT of THEM...

It is THEIR existence that scares me, keeps me awake at night, and worries me while watching the news.  No generally decent civilization ever fell overnight, but there was one day when they suddenly "weren't" anymore.  The ancient Greeks were suddenly Roman subjects, the Romans were suddenly bending their knees to the Vandals, the Visigoths who created Spain were driven down by the conquering Moors, the Incas to the Spaniards, etc.

No country lasts forever, and democracies especially are fragile and need constant vigilance to survive.  Demagogues are ever-present, needing only one opportunity to succeed.

Trump has to lose...

Bad Snow-Plowing

We usually see a snow plow come down our dead-end street 2 days after the snow ends.  The County admits (reasonably) that Cul De Sacs and Dead-End streets don't have the same traffic demands that more travelled streets do.  I accept that.

So I was surprised to see someone plowing my street Sunday morning right after the snow stopped falling.  But it wasn't a real snowplow.  It was a guy in a front-end loader.

Not the most efficient way to remove snow from streets, but anything was welcome.

He was working well, and even tried to dump the piles of snow in between yards at the property lines.  I was watching out the computer room window.  Unprepared to go rushing outside in the snow...

It suddenly struck me that his "in-between properties" pattern was going to cover the storm drains at the corners of my property!  Ack, it would create an ice dam under the pressure of the snowpile.  I yelled at him out of the window and pointed the both storm drains, but he couldn't hear what I was yelling over the noise of the diesel engine.   But he could tell I was yelling at him.  It went downhill from there...

So I slammed on a pair of shoes and went running outside to explain.  I guess he gets complaints from residents who say not to pile the snow on THEIR yards.  Because the first thing he screamed at me (yes "screamed") was that 6' off the road was really County property.  (well, yes, but only if they do a legal "taking" of it for sidewalks and such). 

But I pointed at the 2 storm drains and demanded he NOT pile snow THERE!  It happened once 20 years ago and the street in front of me was a ice rink for a week! 

I saw him talking to my neighbors shortly after I went back inside.  He probably told them I was a crazy person. 

Fortunately, he didn't pile snow on one storm drain because I had a trailer parked right next to it.  He came close to covering the storm drain that would have caused real problems, but didn't.   But he was about to when I ran out...

As annoyed as he was, and least he didn't cover the storm drain!

So he piled it up on my front lawn instead. 

Well, the snow had to go SOMEWHERE and at least snow does melt eventually... 

The Old Car Blues

I drive a 2005 Toyota Highlander.  Wonderful vehicle.  I don't drive very much, so MPG don't matter (10 years old and 25,000 miles).  Its even garage-kept and the garage is in the house.  The temperature never gets below 45F  Maybe 50F.

But the darn thing just won't start in the Winter.  The dealership says I don't drive the car often enough for the battery to stay charged.  I doubt that.  The past 3 Winters, I kept jump-starting the battery from 2 old boat batteries and THEY sat around in the car and the garage for months fully charged even using them to start the car every few days.

There has to be something in the electrical system going wrong, right?  The internet says (and we all know the internet is never wrong *koff, koff*), that the starter solenoid brushes have gone bad.   The dealership says that the startes don't HAVE brushes anymore (but upon my interrogation, they admitted that actually, they do, but they just replace the whole starter when needed).  So they lie without shame...

I'm waiting for a call back about the cost of replacing the whole starter unit (like it takes them hours to figure the cost of replacing a starter?).  I know the part costs $200, so they will probably want $600 for the job.  I hope solves the problem, but it might not and the options are to jump start the car all Winter (AGAIN) every time I want to drive out for an errand, or buy a new car.

I told the TOYOTA dealership that if I replace the car it will be with a Subaru Forrester.  That got some attention.

But is seems stupid to replace a car with only 25,000 miles on it.  I'm not into having the latest car or new gadgets.  I tend to buy highly-rated cars and drive them until they DIE!   And I don't care WHAT car it is or how old, 25,000 miles is too new to die.  I'm still on the original tires!

I can't wait to see what weird explanation the dealership offers when they call back.  I suppose I will have to go to Corporate HQ for some more expert solution.  But I will be hopeful until I can't be...

Mark

Dad Here

Well, it looks like I am stuck with Dad until he is utterly unable to be cared for by me.  Sister has been avoiding finding a place for him near her and I understand now that she REALLY does plan to leave the area when she retires in a year.  So it IS best that he be HERE or in a place nearby.

I was hoping to get out of this relationship, but I'm the only one he has left.

That realization is hard.  I don't hate him, but I don't like him much either.  And I don't say that because he is batty (though he is); its the day to day living that makes it hard.  I lived on my own for 30 years and the change is so hard.

When he watches Fox News, he thinks it is like the word of god.  He says "damn right" sometimes and I look at him with dropped jaw.  He really does think that most of the people in the US are "MOOCHERS"!  I pointed out to him that  Romney meant me and him because we get a Federal Govt retirement, and it just went right over his head...

Its going to be a really hard year or so before Father Time catches up with him...  But he is here and for his "long haul".

I'll try not to mention it often...

More Sads and Confusions

I should mention that I'm grateful for all the recommendations from readers/friends/family.  They are all good, but all situations and personalities are different so some fit with Dad and I better than others.  For example, respite care is suggested often, and I don't really need respite care yet.  I will one day, but I can get away for a couple of hours at a time now because Dad can take care of himself for hours at a time.  I can go grocery shopping, work on the computer, or spend time out in the yard without much problem.  So I'm not desperate for small amounts of time "off" yet.

The meal preparation, laundry, and cleaning is not a problem either.  I like to cook and have always spent time on it for myself.  Cooking for two is not much extra work.  Although I will say that preparing meals on a set schedule is new to me (and annoying).  I've always been an "eat when hungry" person, plus its never bothered me to skip a meal when I was busy.  With Dad, I MUST make lunch at noon and dinner at 6.  That part's hard, but not something I'm willing to hand off to a professional.

Perhaps the best routine gain Dad has from living here is the food.  When I picked up Dad in FL in May, I discovered he was living on hot dogs, frozen fish and ice cream.  Now he has a healthy cereal for breakfast (his effort not mine), a sandwich of home-made bread, some meat, lettuce, and onions, with sliced tomato, carrot sticks, radish, and a pickle on the side.  Dinner is some few ounces of fresh meat with lots of veggies over rice or spaghetti, tossed salad, green veggie, and potato or corn.  He wants sweet stuff for dessert (and gets some) but I get a lot of fresh fruit into him too.

Cleaning is different.  As a bachelor, I don't clean like my mother did.  But from seeing Dad's place in FL, I clean a bit more than he did.  I watched him clean a table once and some dishes once, and there is no way I will let him do that again.  If he cleans something, I thank him and then clean it properly later when he isn't paying attention.  The weird thing is that I would clean MORE often, but he wants to "help" and that is worse than doing it myself.

Laundry is not much more than just for me.  Like many old folks, Dad wears the same clothes too long.  Well, its not like he works up a sweat sitting in a chair watching TV all day, but I image that dead skin cells add up.  I change outfits every day; Dad would wear them for a week.  Its not TOO hard to remind him that he wore "those clothes" for 3 days.  I do my own laundry often enough that I can "offer" to do his at the same time.

Memory-Fail example:  EVERY time I mention laundry, Dad wants to accompany me down to the basement to see how the washer and dryer work.  He never recalls that he has done that every week for 5 months...  Sometimes I get off easy when he allows me to "just wash his".  There is a reason his laundry hamper is in the main bathroom.  So I can see that it gets fuller and when he has run out of clean underwear...

And I should admit right out that I don't have Dad here because I am lonely (as Dad [and some friends] sometimes imagines).  I LOVED living alone (with the cats of course).  And I look forward to living alone again some day.  I understand that it won't be this year.  It may not be next year (but that will be stretching my perseverance thin).  Dad is here because I was told he could no longer live on his own, The day poop dribbles out the bottom of his pants and he doesn't notice, he will discover assisted living facilities.  I am many things, but I am not a bodily nurse.  I don't have the stomach for it.  If I see a kid throw up on TV, I throw up.  There are things I can do and things I can't.  Its all I can do to flush the toilet when Dad forgets to (which is always now).

I'm doing this because it is required, I am the best child to live with at this specific time, and I don't know how to get out of it.

I get Dad now because my sister Susan and I agreed years ago that she would take Mom and I would take Dad if one or the other needed elder care.  Sexism makes sense sometimes.  50/50 chance, and I lose.  Thats normal for me.

No, the new stuff I intended to write about was about Dad's mental lapses.  The above was just all an  indroduction to why the physical stuff wasn't that important but the mental stuff was.

As Arlo Guthrie said, "Ive gone on for 20 minutes, I can go on for another 20 minutes.  I'm not proud.  OR tired."  Or something like that...

Today Dad forgot how to count money.  I saw him take cash out of his wallet, and he started writing down numbers on post-it sheets.  I knew what he was trying to find out.  How much cash he had.

It deeply saddens me that he could not add OR count.  He tried counting directly and came up with different numbers.  He tried listing the amounts of the individual bills.  He kept coming up with different numbers.

I like it when Dad gets obsessed with things because it keeps him harmlessly occupied.  Watching golf, listening to silly Fox News, reading the new privacy documents from his credit card company, deciding what to do with the address labels that all charity groups send.  When he gives up, I explain them in simple words and trash them (well, I save the address labels; he likes those).

But back to the money-counting.  Dad can't count money annynore.  He confuses the denomination with the quantity of them.  He wrote down 10 lists of bills.  Every one was wrong.  The specific falure is that he writes $20 no matter how many of the 20s there are.  He can count the other bills right.

My frustration is when he can't THINK straight.  Thats what drives me crazy.  I cant blame him, but it still makes things so hard for me.

Dad was always factually-oriented.  So am I.  But he is losing it SO badly and SO fast.

We were watching a show about dinosaurs after dinner.  He said (as he so often does lately)  "they don't know the size of those reptiles.  They could be ten times or one tenth that size".  I mentioned that "they" have the bones.  Dad said "yeah, but they still can't tell"!  He dismisses everything that he does not know for sure himself..  OK, he ALWAYS has, but he's getting WORSE.

He confuses me.  When I said "but they have the bones", he didn't care.  The fact had no importance to him.  He has lost all analysis ability.   And THAT'S what is hardest for me to deal with.  The loss of mental existence.

He exists physically, he can walk (and better with the cane we bought last week).  But his mind is going, and that is the part I am struggling with.

He thought Sarah Palin was in the vice presidential debates this year.  When I said she was 4 years ago he said I was "all wet".  He thought Reagan was president.  Then he thought McCain lost, but not Palin as VP.  Then he decided he wasn't sure who McCain's VP was.  Maybe Romney.

Anything I say is wrong.  I should ignore that but I can't.  My whole life has been factually oriented.

Time to start ignoring everything Dad says, isn't it?  But how?  I need to talk to him because he talks to me.  I don't know how to ignore him.