Ayla's Special Spot

 TBT:  Not my usual kind of post...

I have never been so reluctant to bury a cat in the Memorial Garden.  Or had so much trouble trying to do so.  And I have to relate a sad story.

I recall doing it for Iza in Summer 2020 and it took some effort then.  Not the burying (with love and respect) but the mechanical difficulty.  It is not easy to dig a hole 2' deep and 2' across in hard soil.  There were some tree roots in the way.  It took an hour of cutting through and Iza's death was new, so I was crying all the time.  

This dig for Ayla is harder.  There is a neighbor's tree just across the fence and the roots have grown larger.  The tree is my fault.  It is a mulberry tree seeded by one I had 20 years ago.  Mulberries are messy.  I cut mine down.  I didn't know at the time that a new one had started in the neighbor's yard.  

The roots have grown through my flowerbeds and the Memorial Garden.  I spent an hour trying to dig the roots for Alya's Special Spot.  The roots of the tree are soft and dont get cut with a shovel.  Or a spade.  Or an ax.  Everything just sort of bounces.  I finally had to crush them with a pruner until they gave up.  

Which still left hard rocky soil underneath.  I soaked the soil to loosen it.  Which left mud.  And I managed to step in the hole.  And because I was in there with one foot, I had to stand in with the other.  And catching the toe on one foot, I fell over.

I just sat there and cried for a few minutes.  Why couldn't the sad task of burying such a beloved cat be "just" a little easier?

But it was obvious I wasn't going to finish digging the site that day.  So I basically crawled out with sore knees and hands pressing down on thorny vines til I reached the lawn.  Took off the muddy workshoes in the basement and went upstairs.

That was 3 days ago.  Yesterday, I cleaned the workshoes.  That may sound odd, but you have to start somewhere.  They were caked with dried mud, but I needed them to stomp on the shovel.  And I kind of thought they ought to be clean for digging more of Ayla's Special Spot.

I got down another foot.  It was ridiculous.  Small rocks everywhere that needed to be pried out one by one.  The wheelbarrow has more soil in it that could possibly come out of the small hole, but it did.

I'm active, but old enough to know when I am over-exerting myself.  The rest of the dig will be tomorrow.  2' deep will be enough.  Her body will rest on a blue towel.  And then I will cover her in the earth I dug out.

So now I have to build the Memorial Marker.  That will be both sad and happy.  Sad for the reason, but a last act of what I can do.  Happy with every sawcut, drilling, and screw in the memory and love of her.  A last act...

I couldn't find a brown resin 10" cat statue like those for Skeeter, LC, and Iza.  But I found a teak one 8" high that has a nice little necklace.  That will have to do.

And then, she will just be there with the previous Mews.  A wooden box on the surface above her with her name in brass letters and a small statue on the top showing she was a cat.  

And all my memories of her...

Laz

I have mentioned recently that Laz has been getting better in adapting to the house.   I may not have have mentioned HOW much better he is doing.

There is still an occasional hiss from Ayla (she is reluctant to trust him) and when you get attacked, you remember it.  And I don't blame her for remembering being attacked.  But I haven't heard a screech in a week (maybe 2) and only softer hisses.

Laz is reacting positively to being let outside.  He got over the fence once a couple/few weeks ago (I think from my compost bin) and observing him desperately trying to jump back up (down is easier than up), I don't think he will do it again soon.  And besides, I now have a board set on the likely jump point loose on edge.  If he tries to jump from that, he will have a very negative experience.  On the other hand, if he does do it, I have one fence board barely attached so that he has a way home.

I know I said I was going to build a small enclosure for him to sit outside in, but I realized what he needed was "running around space".  He is young, full of energy, and I think the outside (in limited and controlled conditions) are good for cats.  

Being outside and exploring the yard (usually with Marley and/or me outside with him) has calmed him.  At first, he did not respond to my calls to return to the house.  The outside was too strong an attraction.  But lately, he has been responding.  That is a major success.  

I am pleased to say he now routinely comes in when called.  It helps when he sees Marley coming back to the house, but he more often does it on his own.  Not always, of course, but what cat ALWAYS responds to calls immediately?

The point is that he usually does and is getting better at it.  That I give treats to all when they do helps.  Well, you can't give treats or food to one and not all.  They KNOW!  I swear, I could give treats to Laz out in the yard and Marley and Ayla would be waiting for theirs inside.  Ayla has several special places where she expects food and sometimes I think that if I even WROTE about food, she would go to one of her places expecting some.

Not to get off-topic entirely, but Ayla decides WHERE she will eat.   I sometimes have to follow her through 3 rooms until she decides where the RIGHT place to eat is.  LOL!

But back to Laz...

Laz is calmer around Ayla.  Ayla has been more willing to come out of the bedroom and Mews Room.  Laz is much more "touchable".  He used to stay just out of reach walking by, but now he comes close enough for a back stroke and sometimes attention.  He loves chin rubs and strokes when he is on the cat tree platform and he flops right over on the waterbed seeking attention a LOT more than he used to.

He talks constantly.  He has a voice like a rusty gate, but even then, not as loud and worried-sounding as a couple months ago...  He is getting better in bed.  He used to push and shove against me very hard.    That might have been desperation about contact with his "new safe Being".  Now he has learned he can stay there longer with softer contact.  Laz and Ayla have peacefully slept around me the past 2 weeks and that would have been impossible a month ago.

Thinks are looking a LOT better than just a few weeks ago.  I think Laz has made some adjustment in his mind (forgot some bad memories, learned new ones, reconsidered his position here, learned to calm down, discovered he could expend youthful energy running around the yard, learned to trust me, connected to Marley, accepting Ayla, etc).

So Laz is here.  And he won't be going anywhere.

 

Update

The main Mac Mini dessktop HD is erased.  I confirmed that.  It does keep the operating system (High Sierra, not Catalina).  That is a relief.  Apple will probably look back on Catalina some day the way Coca Cola looks back on "New Coke" and Microsoft looks back on the Paperclip  function.

Or maybe not.  Apple might be dedicated to forcing it's users into iCloud and new annual subscription apps forever.  Already, I can see that I am being forced to choose the subscription MS Word and Excek (which I love vs the Apple Pags and Numbers (which have few features).

Fortunately, I have fewer word and spreadsheet demands than I used to, so I might die before they make it a "pay for every use" world.

But that's neither here nor there right now.  Right now, I finally have my OLD Mac Mini (the one BEFORE the one I spilled the wine on - call it the grandparent of the new one and the parent is dead)  being backed up on a 4TB My Passport external HD (51 minutes and counting down).  That isn't over-writing my older backups, just saving what is on my OLD Mac.  The pre-Catalina backups are still there.  4 TB is a lot of storage.

My idea is to save what is on the OLD Mac, (just in case) and restoring the Oct 2019 backup Mac-to-Mac directly.  Since I can't seem to choose the backup to migrate from Time Machine, but CAN if it is the only version on the OLD actual Mac (there being no other choices), I am expecting Migration Assistant will work this time.

Backup 34 minutes and counting...

BTW, my previous migration created 69,000 photo files.  I confirmed that this OLD Mac only says 17,000.  I take that as a sign that there will not be duplicates.  Time and a few more steps over a couple days will tell.  If photos duplicate along the way, maybe this time I will see where it happens.

Backup 10 minutes to go (an hour later, LOL) but it is getting close to finished.  The computer makes a guess on time, and it changes by what files it finds.  It is like a marathon runner not knowing what hills of downslopes it will find.

I didn't waste the time just sitting here.  I cubed 5 pounds of pork shoulder I smoked a couple days ago.  And packed the cubes 4 oz each into ziplock bags and got them in the freezer.  I'm set for any pork meal for months.  Very versatile stuff, pork!

The usual is adding 1 potato, 1 carrot, 1 celery stalk, 1 small onion, a couple cloves garlic, and oregano, thickened with flour.  But smothered in bell peppers or carmelized onion is good.  Mixed with stir fried veggies and served over spaghetti with soy sauce is good.

Well,  the backup is going slowly.  For every GB it backs up, the computer offers more GB,  so I guess it is going to take hours.   It is up to 90GB and the total on the HD is 340,  so I might as well let it run overnight and see what I get this afternoon...

IF it backs the whole current drive up on the OLD Mac, then I Restore the OLD computer with the OCT 2019 backup and THEN Migrate that to the new computer (because thenit will be the only version Migration Assistant can find).  Abd THEN if that works, I might actually be back at Oct 2019.  and possibly be able to copy the photos since the without duplicates AND have my email settings back.

Aren't computers fun?  And then Thursday morning, I get to (try and) capture Marley to stuff him into the PTU and bring him to the vet for HIS teeth cleaning adventure.  Oh the thrill of the chase...!

December

Why is December such a hard time on cats?  It seems so many leave for The Bridge in this month. 

Is it the short days that depress them? 

Less time outside for those who DO go outside?  Or just fewer sunpuddles for those who stay inside?

Do the longer nights just suggest going into "forever"?

It seems to me that we lose more cat-friends in December than any other month, and I don't know why...

The short days sadden ME.  I have to fight it; I get depressed at this time of year too.  But I know WHY.  Maybe its harder when you DON'T know why maybe they just get saddened and all.  Who knows the minds of our cats.  We try, but as close as we feel toward them, we cannot ever truly understand their thoughts.

I just know that December is a real hard time on cats. 

And so, for myself, and for the cats, I keep the house brightly lit, I keep them active, I stuff them with food, and I keep them on my lap as much as possible.  I don't know if that makes the slightest bit of difference. 

But it makes me feel good to try...  Special places to make them happy.

My lap.

Good places to sleep at night.

Interesting new spots.

Anything I can do...

Busy Day

I got the 6th Evil Squirrel today.  I thought there were 5, but I saw signs from a 6th and I caught it.

I feel sorry for the poor things.  I know they just want to eat and live.  Drowning them seems cruel (but takes only 20 seconds and they are mostly just confused)..  So I considered the options in their lives.  It's not like squirrels often die of old age:

1.  Grabbed by hawk talons for several minutes and then get ripped apart while still alive.
2.  Same with owls...
3.  Hit by cars and die of injuries slowly on the side of the road.
4.  Starve to death slowly.
5.  Freeze to death in very cold winters.
6.  Grabbed by dogs and shaken into oblivion after terrible bites.
7.  Poisoned or snap-trapped by liscenced people getting them out of attics.
8.  Pecked to death by crows.

There are probably others I can't think of but it doesn't really matter.  There is (was) this group of squirrels that destroyed most of my garden and I think I got the last one (the trap will remain set until no squirrels attack my vegetable plants).

After reducing (hopefully eliminating) the East Grove Gang who had, as a group, learned to attack gardens, I have had 12 heirloom tomatoes harvested ripe and there are 12 more getting there.  Last year, with the East Grove Gang undisturbed, I got 2 tomatoes the whole year. 

It is good to be at the top of the food chain.

On the gaming front, I had stayed away from Risk for a week.  But tonight I joined a game of 5 players, 2 outpointing me by WAY LOTS.  I won.  I was shocked because I don't generally do well in multiplayer games and especially I don't do well against VERY more experienced players.  But some games just go well.  I played carefully.  I played well.  I attacked when it was best to attack and I defended my borders well. 

And Oh my goodness, Ayla has been playin fetch with the old worn-out "softy-mouse" she loves so much.  She has brought it back to me a dozen times as I type.  Its SO old.  There is nothing of the nip in it and it is nothing but the original cloth body.  But she loves it so much.

I think I will just spend the next couple hours tossing it to her until she gets tired of it.  Ayla doesn't love many toys, mostly plastic milk rings.  But as long as she wants to grab softy-mouse, I will toss it to her.

It was a Good Day!