How To Ruin A Roast

I enjoy cooking.  But I can sure mess up sometimes!  Here's the way to do everything wrong.

1.  Buy a pork roast on a Monday.  Now, it was a cheap Boston Butt at $2/pound, so it wasn't like a Standing Beef Rib roast at $10/pound.  But it's big, so it isn't free.  

2.  Leave it in the refrigerator (planning to cut it up and smother it in dry rub "tomorrow")  for 4 days.

3.  You positively CAN'T let it go another day, so cut it into 2" slabs and cover it with the dry rub.  Put it back in the refrigerator to smoke tomorrow.

4.  It's "tomorrow", but it is raining.  OK, the rub will really soak in by "tomorrow"!

5.  Next day smoke the slabs for 3 hours (it's the next Monday by now).  I usually smoke the Butt outside for a few hours (no real benefit longer than that, the surface is impervious after that long) and finish it in the oven at 225F.  Set portable timer for 3 hours.

6.  Timer goes off while watching TV.  Yeah, gotta take it out.  Forget about doing that for another 3 hours.

7.  Suddenly remember the pork and take it out of the oven.  Well, it certainly is safely cooked!  Cut off a chunk to eat (dinner).  Put the whole tray into the basement refrigerator to chill.  

8.  No problems with the pork overnight, so I decide it is safe (and it was).

9.  Gotta cube and package it "Tomorrow".  Leave pork in refrigerator 4 more days.  This makes it 11 days since bought.  

10.  Take it out to cut it up.  It is hard as a rock!  Sharp knives struggle...  I cut some pieces off for stewing.  It "sort of" softened. but "chewy" would be too kind a description.

11.  Consider leaving it outside to punish wandering raccoons and possums.

12.  But decide to just wrap it up in a trash bag with cat litter (to discourage scavengers), place the bag in a box, and put the box in another trash bag.

I expect this will really confuse some future landfill archeologist.  One may find my roast centuries from now, intact, and be baffled by our current-day culinary practices.  And (considering the kitty litter I added to the bag) be amazed at our choice of "spices".  After all, who ELSE'S pork roast will still be around to compare it to?

Anyway, I still need cubed smoked pork for my stews and stir-fries, so I've added it to my shopping list.  At least I'll have good reason to remember to cut it up and dry-rub it THAT DAY and smoke it the next...  And cube it as soon as chilled)!

Hope you enjoyed this...  ;)

Writing

Have you ever written something that needed to be posted at a given time and it was just horrible?  And you just couldn't fix it?  Most of us have.

I wrote a poem for Dr Seuss Day over a week ago and it was just a mess!  The idea was good but I had too many topics in it.  Cat In The Hat, falling from the ladder, Alice In Wonderland, etc.  Too much on my mind, I suppose...

I sent it to a friend (Ann of Zoolatry) asking for some help.  It came back much improved.  Inspired by the improvements, I kept some and changed some.  I fixed some rhythmic mistakes, so it reads better.  It's better than it was.  You can read it HERE.

In the same way, on another site I visit (not a "writing" site) someone suggested writing a first chapter (no full story or conclusion required).  It required a set up for a story, an object someone could sit on, and a single line from another character.  

I write short stories sometimes, so I figured all I had to do was drop the ending, make sure someone sat on something, and add a comment from someone else.  But I used a short story written before and reworked it.  Nothing said it had to be new.  But it had been included in a group "vanity press" book, so I decided that was improper.  And I couldn't come up with a new plot.  So I'm not submitting it.

I used to play chess a lot.  When I was younger, I could up with complicated attacks using spaces just vacated by a previous move.  Those are harder to detect.  About 10 years ago, I discovered I couldn't organize attacks any more.  Creativity was failing me.  I could defend well, and defense is important.  But at some point you actually have to checkmate the opponent to get a win.  A great defense usually leads to a draw.  I don't play to get a draw.

Getting older sucks...

A Good Day

Yesterday...  Last night... 

First, I got my new iPhone XR working.  Not that it was EASY getting to Apple help, but once there, the assistance was great!  The agent I spoke to (on my old cordless phone) was patient, helpful and knowledgeable.  I also need Verizon help and got it.  5 hold minutes each is nothing to complain about.  I called my neighbor friend Deb to try it, and my sister later.  It worked.

HURRAY!

Apps and contacts come later.  Knowing the iPhone worked was the major event.  I do miss having a printed manual though.  Looking stuff up in print is "sometimes" easier than visiting a help site that makes you figure out even the QUESTION to ask.

Second, I cooked outside the first time this year.  The Boston Butt was cut into 2 slabs for greater dry rub exposure and smoked for 2 hours.  Well, quite frankly, after 2 hours the surface is sealed and it is easier to complete the cooking in the oven at 225F.

Third, removing the pork allowed space for 12 chicken boneless skinless thighs to get smoked for an hour.  They finished in the oven just as the pork came out.   

The pork was SO GREAT I just noshed on cut parts all night.  Best pork butt I ever cooked.  BTW to those with other names for parts of pork "butt" is not actually "butt".  Its' a shoulder part.   Sorry, sometimes I get "eww" when mentioning "butt" LOL!

I drowned the meat in dry rub overnight, and it really pain off.  I bet the chicken thighs are the same (dinner tonight).  

Sometimes I get lucky, and the pork was IT.  Maybe the chicken too. 

I walked better yesterday.  It comes and goes.  Yesterday was better than average.  Maybe going out to the smoker helped distract me.  Any port in a storm, as they say.

New seeds arrived in the mail.  I better get busy with some of them as I'm behind schedule with some early ones.  I've been spending more time in the basement lately (laundry, litter-boxes and some seedling tray platform tray repairs).  

Had to "glue&screw" some of the platforms.  The drill was "heavier than I remembered it".  I got by carefully.  It's funny how slight differences in strength make big differences in handling tools.  Took both hands to hold the drill straight, and also to move things around.

But I couldn't have done that at all 2 weeks ago.  

Next project is to get all sites listed in my password manager so that I don't depend on old lists and marked-out scribbles.  It's a pain to change everything, but I can see the ones I've done make life easier. The hardest part was figuring out how to add passwords to start.  It is easier after the first few.  

At least it seems to work.  And I have wicked long and complicated password manager password.  Takes minutes to type it, but I don't have to do it often.

I only wish everything went that easy...

2 Months

I'm disappointed!  Depending on how I count the day I fell and today, it has been 2 months since I fell.   It is starting to feel like this may never end, and I have this worry I'm as "good as I'm going to get".  Or next month I may look back on this post and laugh as I do cartwheels on the lawn or carry a big laundry basket down the stairs easily.  But not yet...

I had some problems before I fell.  I was routinely getting leg and rib muscle cramps for a decade.  I had involuntary finger-clench cramps, but usually only after doing hard gripping of tools.  Oddly enough, those went away for weeks.  Well, they are back.  Maybe the muscles were shocked from the fall and are recovering.  

And I'm feeling sorer around my lower back and (coff, coff) butt than earlier this week.  It moves around some though.  Maybe that's a good sign of healing, but I could do without it.  I'm walking a bit stiffer again.  Maybe it is that I stopped taking even Ibuprophen last week.  I may start a daily OTC dosage again.  If it is the same in a week, I'll call my primary care Dr.  

But it is really annoying to get worse after getting better.  Maybe that's normal; 2 steps forward, one back.  As I've said, I don't have much experience with lingering problems.  Maybe I've been walking too much or too little.  Maybe I've been comfortable enough to sit awkwardly lately.

My right arm is weaker than I realized.  I have some simple platforms I use to adjust seedling tray heights under my basement shelf stand lights.  They were originally just glued together and I screwed some in place last year.  I missed a few (probably in use at the time).  Well, one came loose and I decided to check (and screw) all of them.

It was harder than I thought!  I had to use both hands to hold the drill upright and straight.  And pulling the drill bit OUT took some effort (which normally requires no effort at all).  At least pushing DOWN on the screws as I drove them in wasn't a problem.  Drill straight and pull out, bad.  Screw in, good.  Well, at least I got them all reinforced...

So it was time to make dinner.  Pork stew (tastes better than it sounds) and a tossed salad.  But more cutting and chopping.  But more gripping the knife handles.  More finger-clenches...  I had to physically pull some fingers back into place.  

Ever had a basic recipe you've made a 100 times and one time it just doesn't work?  Last night was like that.  The potatoes and carrots in the stew wouldn't soften!  I even put it all in a bowl and M/W it 3 more minutes.  Still not stew-soft.  I ate it anyway while watching TV.  I like good food, but sometimes (so long as it is not spoiled), I'll eat what I end up with.  

2 hours later, I realized I had a pork roast (Boston Butt) and chicken that needed to be marinated for cooking later today before it went bad.  More slicing and knife-gripping!  I slice the big pork chunk into 2" slabs for smoking and cube them later when they cool.  The chicken is boneless/skinless but also gets smoked.  

After slicing, I made a dry rub mix.  It works on both pork and chicken.  More grabbing stuff with the hands...  I don't have a "special recipe" but ask if you want the general mix of stuff.  I just "guesstimate" each time.

I really packed it on this time!  I'm not a spicy-hot type of cook, but brown sugar, salt, cinnamon, etc can  add a lot of flavor.  But by the time I was done and had the meat back in the fridge, my fingers were going all whichway.  

Thank goodness for NSAID muscle rubs.  I had to slather it on my hands and it took 15 minutes to take effect, but it did.  Otherwise, I would not be typing now...

Which leads me to the last thing for today.  Typing causes the finger-clenches the most.  The muscle rub is working for now, but I'm finding it hard to post every day and visit as often as I would wish.  I appreciate the visits from you.  

I will get back into a more regular habit of posting and visiting as soon as I can.  And after smoking an 8 lb pork roast, 12 chicken thighs, and having frozen steaks and shrimp in the freezer, I will not be doing serious "slicing and dicing" for a while).

Each day, I expect "next week" will be a lot better.  And I expect that, one week, that will be true.  I'm so very much looking forward to that week.

Yet Another Update

Well, I had a followup visit with the orthopedic surgeon yesterday.  I almost cancelled it for several reasons.  First, I couldn't think of anything useful she could tell me  (I was mildly wrong about that).  Second, sitting around the waiting room is really boring.  

Third, half my driveway still has ice on it. And it was raining lightly, so it was slick.  And my driveway goes downhill to the street.  And across the road where the driveway joins it, there is an 8' drop to a drainage easement.  So I was unsure about risking it. 

I was cautious.  I stepped on the ice first.  The light rain HAD made it "punky" enough so my shoes made an impression.  So I backed the car out of the garage so the rear wheels were on the ice and the front still in the garage and then pulled forward again.  Nice crushed tire tread marks!

The street-side half of the driveway was bare asphalt, so I couldn't slide beyond that, and the street was bare of any ice, so I could certainly stop there.  And the car is 4 wheel drive.  So I decided it was safe for several reasons.  I decided to visit the Dr...

And there were NO problems getting the car to the street safely.  If that still seems "un-cautious", I'll mention that I did NOT put on my seatbelt AND kept the door slightly open in case I had to bail out.  On the street, I attached seatbelt etc...

At the Dr's office, a person interviewed me about changes in condition since the last visit, any specific problems and questions, etc.  I mentioned having no specific pain anymore, very mild hip stiffness when I first got up in the morning or after sitting for an hour, not taking any meds (not even OTC Ibuprophen for several days), getting back to some normal household activities like laundry and cat litterbox cleaning, but feeling some weakness lifting anything above my right shoulder (where the clavicle is separated from the scapula.  Complained slightly that I probably couldn't bowl or golf again, and that my gardening activities might be very restricted.

The Dr arrived 10 minutes later.  After asking questions for 5 minutes, she had a few  observations/suggestions.  First, I was healing quicker than average for my age and most people with similar injuries were still on meds.  I'm not playing "tough guy".  If I was hurting, I would ask for a med.  

Second, she asked if I had seen a physical therapist.  I hadn't, but that was because I had visited my primary care Dr (who has the same shoulder injury) and he showed me the mild stretching exercises he was given.  Plus, I looked it up on the net and it was obvious stuff I was already doing.  Drs HATE that, but hey, this was from professional sites.

Third, she mentioned that I might be self-limiting about bowling and golf and gardening.  The clavicle/scapula connections is not a strength joint.  She suggested I try a few frames of bowling (just to swing the ball gently and release it, and try some gentle golf chip shots in the back yard to see how it felt IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS.

Fourth, she reminded me that surgery IS an option at any time.  She said a minor incision to insert a pin holding the clavicle in place with the scapula is an option, though it takes 6-8 weeks of general shoulder immobility.  She says the operation would essentially return my shoulder to pre-fall condition

That's both a possibility and a concern.  I find the shoulder "annoying" and come Spring when I can do things outdoors again, I might find my new limitations unacceptable.  On the other hand, I can't quite image being essentially left-armed for 6-8 weeks as being manageable.  

But I don't have to make that decision now.  The shoulder problem is more weird than limiting at the moment.  I will see how things go when I'm out in the yard again.  Trying routine yardwork in a month or so will help me decide.  As the Dr said, and this point, the operation would work the same tomorrow or next year.

So I've been testing myself (gently) with indoor things.  I normally clean the cat litter boxes by lifting them to the workbench and doing the scraping/sifting there.  I was doing it on the floor on hands and knees a few weeks ago, but have done it on the bench twice since.  It works, but let's say I'm about 80% good at the lifting.  It doesn't hurt, but the right shoulder is weak.  

Part of my recovery has been adjusting ways of doing some things.  I've always been better at using my left arm and hand than most people.  In fact, I suspect I was originally a "lefty" but was discouraged from it as a child.  In the 1950s, that was considered a "problem" for kids as they tried to fit into society.  

So for now, let's say that I am in pretty decent shape (all things considered), that what I am now is what I WILL be (into every life, some rain must fall), and that at some point "life" was going to catch up to me.

I'm 70.  Some physical problems were inevitable.  I've been lucky.  One finally got me and it was my fault.  Ya can't be lucky forever...

50 Days Of Annoyance

This is an update, but not the usual one.  There are effects of injuries that aren't strictly sore muscles and healing ribs...

I've spent more time in bed these past 50 days than the previous 2 months.  Usually, about 10-13 hours per night.  While I may be healing and can get around better now, my body still reminds me that I'm not going on long walks for a while yet, and I may never golf or bowl again.  Not that I've done either for several years, but it is probably not an option anymore.  

I have to be careful lifting heavy pans.  I can feel it when I lift a full mug of tea above my shoulder (I have a M/W on a raised shelf and may change that).   Lifting Marley feels like lifting an anvil (he's 18 lbs now).   I still have to be careful on stairs.  

The right clavicle will never be the same.  The orthopedic surgeon was being optimistic when she said that unless I was a pro athlete I didn't need surgery as "I could do about anything else normally".  So, this is a bit awkward and I don't WANT to sound sexist or questioning her judgement (though I am), but I don't think she understands how much stress men (and some women) put on their bodies in some hobbies.

BEFORE I fell, I did a lot of things that pulled on most muscles and left me sore a few days.  Partly (for me) it is living alone and HAVING to do everything myself.  Partly, it is WANTING to (otherwise, why do it?).  I can hire people to do hard work, but I don't want to.  

Unless the shoulder improves dramatically in the next few months, there are a lot of things I used to do that I can't anymore.  I won't be digging up and chopping out invading tree roots entering my garden beds. I won't shoveling out a trailer full of mulch to add to the garden soil to keep it enriched.  I won't be climbing the ladder to cut off droopy tree branches.

There are some psychological effects of reduced mobility.  Some of you understand that personally.  This is MY first experience with it.  I sit a lot when awake and I mentioned staying in bed many hours.  When awake, it is just easier to sit.  Oh, I move around regularly (cook dinner, do laundry, water plants, clean litterboxes, take trash and recycling bins to the street, etc.  

But I sit more because I'm depressed.  I don't (think) I mean clinically, I just can't do much these days and it is frustrating.  I actively want to, I just can't.  Carrying around a stepladder on ice is just too much for now.  

And I probably lay in bed more hours because "why get up"?  The waterbed is warm, soft, and comfortable.  And The Mews collect around me much of the time.  It is easy to just lay there in relative comfort.  It's more comfortable than sitting in the easy chair, and sitting in the easy chair is still more comfortable than walking around.  

As I said, I still "feel it" when I walk.  There is a difference between "can walk" and "comfortable walking".  One day, I will just notice I am walking again normally.   Or not.  There are just somethings you have to wait to find out about.  And some things I can do well enough and some things that make me hesitate...

For example, I looked at the birdfeeders today.  I have gone out in serious snowstorms to refill them in the past.  I got myself up to fill the thistle feeders yesterday.  Well, they are reachable from the ground.  But I looked at the 8' high black oil sunflower seed feeder and hanging suet cages.   

I sighed at having to carry the stepladder to the feeder (it feels heavy these days) but went into the basement to fill the tub with seeds and open 2 containers of suet.  No suet left...  I went upstairs and added suet to my shopping list.  The cardinals will have to find seeds at neighboring yards tomorrow.  I feel very guilty.  

Before I fell, I had a flock of 6 male cardinals and some number of females (they are harder to see).  I wasn't able to refill the feeder for a month+ afterwards. I refilled it once and was empty in a week.  Most have moved on.  Or maybe died (that's the "guilt" part).  I hope they are finding another neighbor who feeds them.  

They can probably find some seeds, but suet is high-density calories and they need that in Winter.  When the sleet stops tomorrow, I will put a pan of seeds on the deck rail.  They'll find it; I've done that before.  And go shopping...  But I bet suet is hard to find now.  

On the other paw, that means people are putting suet out for the birds and that is a comfort to me.  As long as they get it through these days when I can't provide it well, they will survive.

It was about time that I started to feel age creeping up on me.  I am glad it took a while, I am grateful for all those years.  But just as our pets have to go over The Bridge sometime, I am feeling "aging".  

Aside from the effects of the fall, I already had a "trick" right knee. It will just suddenly weaken randomly. I have some routine muscle cramps in the calves and thighs in bed, and rib cramps while awake the past few years.  More annoying then anything, but painful.

I have the occasional "finger-clench" finger thing that probably is a sign of oncoming Parkinson's.  It used to happen only when I did hard-gripping of heavy tools.  Now it surprises me when I haven't done much work.  My Mother had the "clench" and lead to Parkinson's, and it seems to be genetic.  So that seems to be in my future.

I'm grateful for all the many years without any problems, but age does catch up to you eventually.  This fall from the ladder is probably not going to help anything, LOL!  Hey, all you can do is take what life hands you...

Well, I better end this for today...

The Good Neighbors

My great neighbor Deb called saying she was going to get a kitten and asked for advice.  So I returned the walker as an excuse to ask her about it.  It's not complicated; any DSH is kind of fine with her.  I guided her to Craigs List (where I was once guided to Marley) and she and John are considering shelter kittens.  

We talked for almost 2 hours and that is pretty rare for me.  They are both great people.

Sometimes, you get lucky about neighbors...

An Update

Getting better, but it has oddly varied the past few days.  One day or even hour is fine then another is not.  I've been avoiding even ibuprohen the past few days (4 weeks of it is a lot of even mild meds to my way of thinking).

Sitting is actually a problem.  It is comfortable, but the longer I sit, the harder it is to get up and walk around.  I need to be careful about that.

I am really a lay-about recently.  12 hours in bed seems good.  Well, it IS a heated waterbed.  Hard to leave, LOL!

On the other paw, I can walk better when I get myself up out of a chair.  I am still careful on the stairs but level-walking is a lot easier.  I went out to get the mail/newspaper, and it was "almost" normal.  I may actually be being more careful than I need to be.  Some "push" on the muscles is apparently good.

It's the good/bad moments that are annoying these days.  But there is sure a lot better than just "bad moments".  I'm recalling the first week when it was nearly impossible to get in or out of bed without grunts and serious pain, so it sure is a LOT better now.  

Driving the car and shopping is easier.  I even managed a delivered 50# bag of thistle seed and a 40# bag of black oil sunflower seed.  Not like I could lift them, but pushing them into a trashcan on its side and leveraging IT up worked.  I cut the bottoms and slowly lifted the bags up to spill into the containers.  I used a small hand dolly get the trashcans into the basement where I carefully scooped seeds into smaller containers.   I've gotten good at doing things "easy".

I AM refilling the birdfeeders and suet cages regularly.  A 6' stepladder is not a 12' extention ladder and I make sure it is solid. It's not like I have to stand on the top step.  Besides, I'm not trying to pull a cat off the birdfeeder...  LOL!

Little Requirements

I'm healing but not "healed".  I can drive the car safely and get through a store OK,  but getting in and out of the car is (literally) a bit of a pain.  

I have to help my right leg under the steering wheel in and out.  It's more "annoying" than anything else.   But I'd rather not do it anymore than I need to.  So I went shopping just for a can of fish flakes in spite of that.  Why?

They needed food suitable to their mouths.  I have some adult fish, some catfish, some baby guppies and a Betta (not all in the same aquarium).  The betta has pellets it loves (beats me why).  The catfish will eat anything that falls on the gravel.  I have frozen brine shrimp for the adult fish.

But the baby guppies need crushed flakes and I was OUT of flakes entirely.  Not even dust in the container.  I'm responsible for them as much as for the cats and the outside birds accustomed to getting suet and sunflower seeds.

So (reluctantly) out I went out bad weather notwithstanding...  I pay more attention to "the closest parking space" than I used to.  The shopping strip has speed bumps.  It drives me crazy when people come to a full stop before easing over them.  They are designed to be passed over best at about 10-15 mph.  

So I followed a car coming to full stops at each speed bump.  And there was a place where we had the right of way and the side lot area had a stop sign.  Guess who came to a full stop to wave the other driver on?  THAT messed up the expectation of 3 drivers and almost got me rear-ended!

I know people like that MEAN well, but they don't understand how it confuses others.  SOME people leave a trail of car accidents behind them and wonder how "others" cause them.  AARGHH!

Then I saw a close parking spot.  Guess who backed into it?  Of course that "full stop speed bump" driver had the right to it, but my bad luck meant the next open space was 50' more walking.

I was shopping at a pet store because I thought I would get a few middle-tank fish like serpa tetras (I'm down to 2 of them) while getting the fishy flakes.  No such luck; the tanks were nearly empty.  Maybe they are going out of business.  Or fish are hard to stock these days.  Whichever, I just got the fishy flakes.

The cashier is apparently required to ask if I found everything I wanted.  I know that if I say "no" they get all distressed and waste time trying to help me find it.  I mean, I already SAW they didn't have the tetras, so I said "yes".  

Which I'm sure goes into some report that they have everything I wanted (which suggests I wasn't looking for fish and was inaccurate).  Sometimes you can't win.  

Something else that annoys me is that EVERY SINGLE CASH REGISTER I EVER MEET NOW demands that I actively decline some charity or another.  I give to my choices regularly by credit card; I shouldn't need to have to press a button to say "no" at every cash register.  Besides, I bet the store would get a %.  And there is some slight public shaming (Oh look, he didn't give to save a homeless pet).

So, needing fishy flakes and not finding fish, I purchased and left.  I was advised that I had $3 reward points and used it.  Felt stupid using a credit card for the additional $2 and change, but I hate coins these days.  They just go into a large jar.  I need to bring them to my bank on a Thursday (they only accept loose coins then with some machine they have).  I understand; it is a bit labor-intensive.

Stopped at the local DIY store to drop off burnt fluorescent tubes and buy new ones for the plant stand.  They didn't have what I wanted.  Went to the next and they did (almost).  Not all artificial lighting is the same.  Watts are not that important.  Lumens and Color/Temperature are.  Very basically, Lumens are brightness, which is like "volume of light". Temperature in this regard isn't how HOT the bulb is; it is the red/green/blue color spectrum like in a star.

Plants mostly use red and blue for photosynthesis.  We see most plants as green because they DON'T use it and reflect it away.  The colors we see are what they DON'T absorb and use and (in light) expressed as "Kelvin" (temperature above absolute zero).  Long story not TOO LONG, plants grow best at 5000 Kelvin which (for reasons I do NOT understand) means mostly red and blue.

A typical room bulb is something like 2500K (which means it has green and gives us balanced color from OUR POV.  Pants like higher Kelvin to a point.  5000 is best, 4000 to 6500 is OK.  All I could find was 6100.  I bought some.  

Sorry for all the details, I never know where to stop.  Maybe I should have been a teacher...

I was pretty much worn out by the time I got home.  Too much walking and I can feel it.  But the fish needed the flakes and the baby guppies moreso crushed small and the plant stand had a few bulbs to replace.  You have responsibilities to things you keep.

So I take care of the birdfeeders even when I have to climb a 6' stepladder, go driving to get fishy flakes when they need them, etc.  

You do what you think you must.

The Battery Minder

I mentioned the "Battery Minder" previously that helped my 2005 Toyota start in its last years.  Well it may not have been the Toyota's fault.  I just don't drive far or often.  I know most people enjoy driving; I don't.  But it did make up for my lack of driving.

I discovered my new Subaru Forester was starting "slightly" slower than before I fell off the ladder and was taking some steps to attach the battery-minder to it the day I fell off the ladder.  But the Subaru battery is farther back under the hood than most batteries are.  The wire wouldn't reach!  I had 2 wires with the Minder and I spliced them together.  Used some brush-on rubber insulation to help prevent a short.  And there it say for 7 weeks!

Well I got back to hooking it up to the Subaru battery a few days ago.  I wrapped electrical tape around the new rubber insulation on each wire and them wrapped both together.  And set about attaching the spliced wire to the battery with the hood open.  The wire worked; the Minder came on flashing the appropriate lights. But you can't just leave the wire there, the hood will crush it when closed...

So I set about feeding the wire through the grill to the battery.  What a PAIN!  It didn't want to go from the battery out through the grill and it didn't want to go in through the grill to the battery!  It is REALLY cluttered in there.  No room for human hands...

I tried a bunch of different ways to feed it through and/or grab it with something.  It was getting REAL uncomfortable bending down into the engine compartment.  I FINALLY found a space I could get a hand into, but it wasn't enough.

Well, when several approaches don't work, try something else, right?  

I pushed a stiff wire in through the grill, and with one hand, guided it into view.  I made a loop on one end and tied some string to it and tied the wire to the string.  Perfect.  No.   The outside plug wouldn't pass through a narrow spot.

So I had to reverse the pulling wire.  The battery connection has 2 flat washers that slip over the battery posts.  I got the stiff wire through the grill from inside and attached the washers to the wire.  THAT didn't work; too stiff to get around a sharp corner.

So I pulled in partially back out, tied the string to the pulling wire (crushing the loop tightly) and pulled/twisted the pulling wire carefully.  

SUCCESS!!!

The Minder wires were through the grill and reached the battery.  I attached the washers over the battery posts and tightened them.  

Attached the Minder plug to the grill (so it wouldn't get pulled in).  Plugged the Battery Minder to an extension cord, the Minder plugs together, and the Minder showed normal charging signals.

And the car needed it!  It stayed on trickle-charging (solid red light) for hours before it turned green (charged).  HURRAY!

I just don't drive enough to keep a battery charged without help.  Seriously, my new-bought 2005 Toyota only had 30,000 miles on it when I donated it to Vehicles For Change in 2020!  My new Subaru has only 500 miles after 7 months.  

But I got that battery-discharging problem fixed, and that is the important thing.  When I want to do a short errand, the car has to work.  So I make sure it does.

It's the story of my life; I am just not "standard".  The world just isn't built for my habits.  I always have to struggle...

I usually win eventually, but it sure is never easy.  ;)