Thoughts From The
Workplace...
Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job
done. Doing the job WRONG
fourteen times gives you
job security.
We put the "k" in
"kwality."
If at first you don't succeed, try management.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can
avoid altogether.
TEAMWORK means never having to take all the
blame yourself.
The beatings will continue until morale
improves.
Never underestimate the
power of very stupid people in large groups.
We waste time, so you don't have to.
A snooze button is a poor substitute for no
alarm clock at all.
When the going gets tough, the tough take a
coffee break.
INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
Succeed in spite of management.
We waste more time by 8:00 in the morning than
other companies do all
day.
Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked
into jet engines.
I THINK THAT I KNOW THESE PEOPLE!
A programmer is someone who solves a problem
you didn't know you had in
a way you don't understand.
An auditor is someone who arrives after the
battle and bayonets all the
wounded.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his
umbrella when the sun is shining
and wants it back the
minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)
An economist is an expert who will know
tomorrow why the things he
predicted yesterday did
not happen today.
A statistician is someone who is good with
numbers but lacks the
personality to be an
accountant.
An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb
on a plane, because that
decreases the chances that
there will be another bomb on the plane.
A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000-word
document and calls it a
"brief."
A professor is one who talks in someone else's
sleep.
A consultant is someone who takes the watch
off your wrist and tells
you
the time. For a fee.
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