Thoughts From The Workplace...
Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG
fourteen times gives you job security.
We put the "k" in "kwality."
If at first you don't succeed, try management.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
TEAMWORK means never having to take all the blame yourself.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
We waste time, so you don't have to.
A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.
When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.
INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
Succeed in spite of management.
We waste more time by 8:00 in the morning than other companies do allday.
Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
I THINK THAT I KNOW THESE PEOPLE!
A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had ina way you don't understand.
An auditor is someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all thewounded.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shiningand wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things hepredicted yesterday did not happen today.
A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks thepersonality to be an accountant.
An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because thatdecreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.
A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000-word document and calls it a"brief."
A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tellsyou the time. For a fee.