Presidential Candidates

The Republicans...

Donald Trump - Middle school bully, with brains to match.

Ben Carson - The quiet crazy guy who thinks everyone is either a Nazi or a slaveowner.  I think maybe we are all both.   In his mind..

Ted Cruz - I could be both of those guys above, really.  Let me try harder... 

Marco Rubio - Sure I look like I'm 20, but I can talk that way too.  Oh wait, is that the prob?

Jeb! - Hey, never mind if I don't mention the last name, I'm The Next One.  You all know it, right?  Unless you don't want me to mention I'm a Bush..  Then I'm not.  Dubya says not too, so...

The Democrats...

Hillary! - I'm the ONE right?  I mean we all agreed on that after the last go-around.  The Black GUY first and THEN its my turn...  Um, OUR turn, Right?  It's my turn now?  And you get Bill back for a 3rd and 4th turn...  He's not dead yet.

Bernie Sanders - Look you want an angry guy who is usually right (well leftist if ya know what I mean), you have ME!  Never mind that I probably couldn't manage a candy store, I'm always right. (er, left)  And I yell a lot, so that proves I care.

Martin O'Malley - I talk nice, I'm from Maryland, I'm classical liberal, I'm not Spiro Agnew.  What more do you want?

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What we are missing here is the person who can meet with Putin and say "I'll punch ya into the middle of next week" convincingly.  And with a plan for that...

Putin would laugh at Trump, remind Jeb! that his whole family are wimps, ask Rubio if he shaves yet, and tell Sanders that he isn't the socialist he imagines he is.

But he wouldn't know what to say to Hillary Rodham Clinton...  She's unflappable, unstoppable, and unbreakable...