Some Projects Are Hell!

This is a long story about what OUGHT to have been a simple project..

It seemed like such a simple idea.

I had a 4' fluorescent kitchen light installed 15 years ago.  It replaced the incandescent 2 bulb light originally installed and provides a lot more light  It has a nice wood frame and a diffuser panel.  Thoroughly attractive. 

But in the heat of July and August, it doesn't want to come on.  Multiple flippings of the light switch tend to get it on eventually at first, but on the very hottest days, it just won't.  Something about the ballast getting hot from the hot atc above it.  Adding more insulation didn't solve the problem (nor did removing it).

So, for years, I have removed the frame cover in mid July to late August and taken out the diffuser panel.  That apparently let enough cool house air to let it come on. 

2 years ago, I drilled ten 2" holes along the sides of the frame to let cool house air in (5 each on the 2 sides).  That only helped a little.  Removing the wood frame to take out the diffuser panel is a real pain. 

Being just me here, I had to unscrew one end of the wood frame from the actual lamp fixture and then stick a nail in the screw-hole to keep that end in place temporarily.  Then I had to walk across 3 chairs to the other end and remove THAT screw.  Then I had to hold the whole frame up in the center to pull out the opposite nail.  Then I could lower the wood frame down and remove the diffuser panel.  Removing the diffuser panel DOES let enough cool house air DOES allow the light to come on.  I should mention that I live in constant house air 72F year round.

But that sure makes the kitchen ungodly bright for July and August.  I could actually live with that, but it seems to annoy visitors.  So that's why I tried drilling the 2" hoes in the sides.  I was SURE that would keep it cool enough to come on (and it almost looks like a design element) but that didn't work.

Replacing the diffuser on September 1st (the usual date for attic cooling) was the hardest part.  Its one thing to hold up the wood frame in the center with one hand and pull OUT a nail and each end of the frame in July.  It's an entirely different effort to replace the screws that hold the wooden frame in place while holding the 4" frame against the ceiling.  Lets just say there are eventually Really Bad Words and eventual frustration-screaming involved.  It DOES get done, but I am emotionally and even physically exhausted.

So this year, I decided there HAD to be a better way.  I stared at the wood frame several times and decided that I needed a hinge on one end of the wood frame.  I am "sort of competent" at most projects (I always have to make surprise adjustments to my plans), but my talent is being "creative".  Eventually, things work.

The hinges I had wouldn't work.  Most hinges have large round areas at the corner and there was no space for that.  I found "piano hinges". 
 
They fit into tight corners.  So far, so good.  I marked the holes of the 12" long piano hinge I bought onto the wooden frame, drilled holes for the enclosed screws and set in the screws.  Then I marked the spots for holes into the ceiling for toggle bolts.

Toggle bolts

are weird things that have wings that fold down to go through a hole through thin material like a drywall ceiling and then open by springs.  When you tighten them, the opened wings come down flush with the drywall top.  It's as if you had a large fender washer above the drywall to tighten against.  So after I attached one part of the piano hinge  to the wood frame, I went to drill holes for the toggle bolts through the ceiling drywall.

No go!!!  The toggle bolts were 3 inches long (It takes some length to fold the toggle wings down enough to get them THROUGH the 3/4" drywall to open up above, and the hinge would not allow that angle, being attached to the wood frame.

If this is hard to follow, just trust me on the statements and continue...

So I had to remove the screws holding the piano hinge to the wood light frame.  But if I did THAT, it would fall down.  And guess what I discovered I had overlooked?  There was the screw holding the wood frame to the actual light fixture.  And the hinge covered it!  So I had to remove the entire hinge anyway.  So I had to figure a way to hold the wood frame in place while the screw was removed. 

I decided that I could take 2 boards and clamp them both so that one was set on the floor and the other was pushing the frame up and the top.  But that was requiring 3 hands and I was short one.  Then I noticed an "expander bar sitting in the corner of the basement.  Thats a small pipe inside a larger pipe and so can pull the smaller one out and fix it in place (mechansms vary).  Setting a metal can on the floor below the wood light frame, the expander bar reached the wood frame and held it in place. 

Great.  So I marked the spot on the ceiling where the toggle bolts had to go and removed the hinge and drilled the holes.  Then I put the toggle bolts through the hinge tighten them and put the screws on the other half of the hinge back into the wooden light frame.  I was DONE!

No. I wasn't...  I still had to put the other end of the wood frame back in place and get the screw in.  I thought that would be simple.  The far end was hinged, just lift the other end into place and replace the screw.  Nope.  The wood frame hit the lightfixture too short and would not go over it to the ceiling.

I should have taken pictures, but quite frankly, I was not in the mood for that.

I eventually solved the problem by putting longer screws in the hinge end and leaving them 1/4" loose (to give some sliding room) and the whole wooden cover minus the diffuser fit well enough to attach again firmly. 

But that's why I say I have the worst luck with what SHOULD be simple projects sometimes.  I should be the Murphys Law (anything that CAN go wrong Will go wrong) poster boy...  What SHOULD logically have taken 20 minutes took 3 hours!  Worse, when I could see inside the wooden light frame, I saw the solution will simple, but was not observable until the effort was finished.  I will explain about that tomorrow...

On the other hand, the light came right ON after I gave in 10 minutes to cool down with  the house air.  I turned it off and back on several times just for the pleasure of seeing my efforts work.

There are some things some people are naturally talented at.  There are  somethings some people will NEVER figure out how to do.  And then there are SOME of us who are just unnaturally persistent and accomplish things we are not talented at anyway.  LOL!