Cable TV Annoyances

It started with the remote control slowing down as I tried to change channels.  Then, the TV Guide part started working slower too.  Finally, I couldn't enter the 3-number channel numbers.  It would transmit 1 number (sometimes 2) never the last.

I changed the batteries (rechargeable) and then changed them again.  No good.  I cleaned the window on the remote control, on the TV, and on the cable box.  No good.

So, I took the remote control (which needed to be replaced because the battery cover has to be taped on and you can't read the buttons anymore) to the local cable site.  The place is more fortified than my bank!  2" plexiglass (or whatever they use these days),  a double-covered opening to speak through (have they never heard of microphones?), and a double-locked box through which can pass equipment.  You open your side and put the equipment in and close it.  The cable person locks your door amd opens his to retrieve it.


I'm not kidding.  My bank doesn't have that kind of security.  It has no barriers and they have real money behind them!

But be that as it may...  I told them my remote control seemed to be failing.  The guy said "put it in the box".  I started to do so and he shouted "No, in the BOX, man, I don't want it".  Huh?  He meant in the trash can on my side of the Embassy-quality security barrier.  I pointed out that the logical "box" was the one for returning or receiving equipment.

Strangely, he seemed pissed at my incomprehension.  OK...  not one to fight the system, I dropped it in there.  Then he said he was passing me a new remote control through the "box".  Silly me, I looked at the trash can.  No, it can through the FT Knox quality plexiglass-survive-an-atomic-bomb box. 

No, I did not even point out the silliness of the terms.  I wanted to get the hell out of there!  I just took the new remote and went home.

Never mind the huge sign that said that NO EQUIPMENT WILL BE PROVIDED WITHOUT PROOF OF IDENTITY, and I hadn't.

So I got home and the new remote control had no effect.  I tried newly charged rechargeable batteries in case the provided ones were dead.  No change.

*GLOOM*

It had to be the cable box itself (only months old).  So I pulled the TV stand out from the wall and detached the cables, leaving them in place to make it easier to reattach them.  I CAN figure out cabling (and did it succesfully when I added a DVD player/recorder to the system last month), but it wasn't easy.  So I am very careful.

I brought the cable box to Comcast.  And standing there, I had to listen to a customer making small talk to the service guy (obviously trying to get a date).  Hey, don't do that on MY time, OK?  So, I explained the problem to the service guy (eventually).  He spoke very quietly through the barrier.  And as I tried to hear his words, another customer came to the other window and started YELLING about his bill problem.  And the other guy was OBVIOUSLY wrong.  I almost offerred to throw him out.

I did pass my cable box through "The Security Box".

But I struggled to hear my own customer service representative (with a BAD accent).  He was trying to tell me that he didn't have my type of cable box in stock and that I might have to wait for several days.

Sorry, no, that wasn't acceptable. and "could I at least have my previous box back"?  Slow channel selection is better than none...  He said he couldn't give me a damaged box back because I said it was "damaged".  He said the only ones available were for "better systems" but he could give me a lesser box until the right one was available.  I have everything they OFFER!

He said the "better one" was HDMI.   I pointed out that the box I gave him was HDMI!  He didn't believe me, but disappeared into a room for (and I measured it) 5 full minutes.  He finally came out with a cable box identical down to the last to the last outlet and input and said "I'll give you this one", as if he was reluctantly granting me a heart transplant.

And remember that sign below the counter about not giving out cable equipment?  They never did ask me for mine.  If I had stolen a discarded broken one, I would have gotten a new working one!

Strange people...

So I got home with the replacement cable box.  I hooked it up properly (I thought).  This part is my fault.   You have to call the cable company and go through a bunch of questions to get a signal sent to the new unit to activate it and wait (up to) 45 minutes.  I called and the voice-only system said it send the signal.  45 minutes later, there was still no signal.

I hadn't fully seated the power cord properly.  My fault all the way.  I had to talk to the VOICE again and get a new signal sent.  At least it worked this time.  The cable system is working again.

I shouldn't even mention that coding the new Universal Remote meant I had to go through a bunch of nonsense.  But the cable TV instructions were in invisible print and I had to copy it from their site to PDF and from there to WORD and expand it to 20 point font just to read it.

And I will add that the "Universal Remote" isn't.  It will not control my TV except to shut it off and on.  It won't control my new DVR at all.  For me to watch a DVR, I have to use 3 separate remotes...  LOL!

But at least I can finally change channels on the cable again with A remote..