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Fuck the EU requirements...

Monday, February 15, 2016


Have you ever made a series of measurements of something you are trying to build (or re-assemble) and, no matter how you look at it, it WILL NOT WORK?  Something that once worked as assembled, but no longer will?

I bought a king-size waterbed with a 6-drawer pedestal underneath 40 years ago.  About 20 years ago, the sides started to bend out a bit and caused me to worry that the frame wold slip off the support. 

So I built a new top frame.  It is still functionally perfect.  But I did such a horrid job of staining the raw wood frame (being in a hurry to get it assembled because I was sleeping on the floor while the stain dried).  And then when Ayla was new here, she really clawed up one corner of the frame.

It's not like anyone ever sees it, but bad woodwork bothers me.  So I took the old frame into the basement (it should not surprise you that I keep nearly EVERYTHING that isn't actually broken) to see about using it again (the stainwork was better).

I should explain the waterbed frame...   There are 2 supports about a foot high.  There are drawers build into the supports.  On top of the support is 1/2" plywood to hold the waterbed mattress weight.  There are 2"x10" high boards resting on the plywood to keep the waterbed mattress from just squishing out sideways.

Some of you may have framed waterbeds and know all this, others may not.  So here is a diagram...

build a waterbed frame for less than $99

I built the replacement frames to match the original plywood base of the old frame, naturally.  I mean, it was the right size.  The picture shows brackets holding the frame to the plywood, but there is also a rabbet cut on the bottom on the side frame.
The bottom surface on the left rest on the plywood support; the part that sticks down on the right covers the ragged edge of the plywood.  All I can say is that it makes a stronger connection.

Here's the weird thing!  After having placed all the original frame parts in on the basement floor, I discovered that IT CANNOT FIT on the original plywood base!

I've measured and re-measured it a dozen times.  I've tried to move the frame pieces around.  I've done every possible re-configuration of the 4 basic pieces of frame.

It CAN'T fit on the plywood!  A sensible person would just say "HUH!" and go on from there.  I can't do that.  I have a conundrum, and I want to solve it.  What is driving me nuts is that it should be IMPOSSIBLE that it doesn't fit the original plywood base!  It USED TO!

This reminds me of an old joke about a lost traveler who stops by a farmer and asks for directions back to the highway.  The farmer starts "Well, ya go up this road to the feed store an take a right and, wait, that won't work.  OK, go back down this way and go left at the Fire Station.  No wait, that won't work either".  He scratches his head a few times and finally says "Ya can't get there from here"!

In that sense, I can't get the original frame back onto the original plywood base!  That seems impossible, as it once fit.  But impossible or not, it just won't fit now.

I can recut the original frame boards to fit the plywood base.  Having a table saw and a router table can allow a lot of changes to the original frame boards.  And in a few years, I will probably forget even having had to do all that.

But right now, the unfittingness of the boards is maddening.

1 comment:

Megan said...

Hmmmmm. That's quite worrying.

Sydney, Australia