I haven't been on the computer much lately. Oh, I post on the cat blog, but I haven't been visiting cat blog fiends much, and not posting here. Why? Well, I'm trying to stop smoking.
That may seem odd. But there are reasons. I don't smoke because I'm chemically addicted. I can go without cigs just fine most days. I don't wake up wanting one, I don't want one just sitting around. Days go by and it bothers me not.
I am, however, situationally habituated. It used to be just when I was out on the deck watching the birds and squirrels, mowing the lawn on a riding mower, driving the car, and on the computer. I have eliminated smoking while mowing, standing on the deck, and driving the car on local errands.
But I can't not smoke when sitting at the computer... I don't type or post fast. I like to think about what I'm saying. And when I stop and think at the computer, I NEED a cigarette.
I got through 8 days without a cigarette. The same days I didn't help the Mews visit their friends, and the same days I didn't post here. I'm smoking now. I just CAN'T sit at a keyboard and not smoke. I've gotten it down to "just" then, but I can't seem to stop that "then".
I feel guilty when I don't help the Mews visit their friends every day. Its the "handling" of the cigs I need. And the fake ones are SO heavy that those dont help.
As I struggle through this, I may not seem to be as active in helping the Mews visit their friends. We love you all. I just have this last habituation of the keyboard to eliminate. It will take time. Hang in there for me...
7 comments:
Mark - I don't envy you the challenge of trying to break this habit and addiction, but I'm sending you my best wishes for your success.
Megan
Sydney, Australia
That is a very tall challenge and I know you will break it but we totally understand. GOOD LUCK!!!
Good for you for cutting back. That last step is the hardest, but you can do it!
I understand. MY triggers were many but the worst was driving. Get in the car_light up and keep it up all the way to where you're going and after you go in wherever, light up again when you get back in the car. It was awful. Of course I smoked everywhere else too. Just never in the house. That was before smoking in the house was uncool; I didn't want to subject the boys to the smoke nor stink up my house or discolor it with nicotine film. So, I stood out morning noon and night, summer, fall, winter and spring. Rain and shine. Snow and sleet and hail. When they started forbidding smoking in whatever buildings it was old hat to me. :-)
How I quit was I just did. I went cold turkey and never looked back. A pack and a half a day habit. Gone in a flash. You can do this Mark. Sip on sparkling grape juice insead at the computer...or ice cold water in a glass. As Nike said. Just do it.
HURRAH! You can do this...hubby just quit (again) after a 20 year hiatus and it was habit for him, too. After a couple of weeks altering his routine he was good to go.
I think that if all you've got is that one time, that's pretty great! I smoked for decades, really upped my smoking when I was part of the Working Dead from 2010-11, then quit a few years ago. I found I missed the whole routine of smoking, especially since I'd stopped smoking inside my home in the early 90s.
When Russell was diagnosed in 2013, every day of the week following I thought I really wanted a cigarette. Which I really didn't, but I was so distraught that finally gave in on the fifth day and bought a pack. The first cig made me quite dizzy and the second made me sick. Needless to say I didn't get the "comfort" I thought I'd always gotten before.
~William's mom.
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