Sort Of Missing Relative

First, just let me say there is a happy outcome; I'm not drama-dredging here. 

But I have an elderly widowed Aunt who never had children and I never heard of any family on the husband's side.  I'm not at my best on the telephone with social talk, so I send homemade cards and the occasional letter.  I never expected replies because she is quite elderly.

So when I wanted to write a new letter to her about my Dad moving to an assisted-living facility, I checked with a family member to see if she already knew about that.  No need to go into great detail about Dad if she already knew, right?

Imagine my shock to be told "Oh I called and the phone was disconnected and she didnt reply to any letters.  She seems to have disappeared a couple of years ago."

What???  I had visions of her lonely and abandoned in some awful nursing home, or even a virtual prisoner in her own home by some dominating caretaker or housemate (I have a vivid imagination, and there HAVE been horrible things in the news).  And who would want to just say "Oh everything is probably fine" and then discover it was not later.

I live hundreds of miles away, and I didn't really know any relative to call (actually, there was one relative I could have called, but I was all upset.

So I googled her address and found a detective agency in the town.  I'm NOT kidding.  They do exist and not just for getting sneaky pictures of people having affairs etc.  I explained that I just wanted to know where she was and how to contact her; no crimes or big inheritances involved, just "out of touch for 2 years and I wanted to make sure she was OK".

They assured me that "they do nice stuff too" and estimated it would take an initial 3 hours work (with a prepayment).  I agreed.  After I hung up the phone, I felt a bit like a sucker.  Sure, they would use up the 3 hours and then need another 3 hours and again and again.

I am happy to say I was wrong.  They visited her listed address, got the name of a relative, who got them to an assisted-living facility.  It turns out that my aunt stopped wearing her medical alert button, fell and broke her hip and laid on the floor for 10 hours until someone found her.

I received an email from the detective agency and a call from one of her nephews explaining the past several years and her "disappearence" (from my POV).  It was an awkward conversation.  I grew up in New England, but I could hardly understand a word he said, so I had to keep asking for repeats (and even spellings a few times).

It turns out that there are numerous family on her deceased husbands side that I never knew about (well they didn't know I existed either) and are close to her (geographically and socially).  They brought her to various assisted-living facilities until she liked one and she is there, healthy and happy (for her age). 

So I am relieved.  I did "The Right Thing" by checking on her.

The nephew says OUR aunt probably doesn't know about my Dad going into assisted living, and MIGHT not even know her sister (my Mom) died in 2010.  So I will write about all that.  And writing to her about Dad was what started all of this.

Now lets see about how I am related to the nephew who called me.  I'm terrible at that stuff.  Beyond immediate cousins, I give up.  My aunt is a sister of my mother.  My aunt was married.  The nephew of my aunt is the son of the sister of my aunt's deceased husband.  So from me, it goes to my mother, to her sister, to HER husband to HIS sister to HER son.  So is that like second cousins, first cousins twice removed, or what?

I am curious but confused.

The important thing is that my aunt is "OK" and getting good care and attention.  And while it wasn't necessary to my aunt's health and well-being I DID something to make sure about it.

I will sleep better tonight