Living With Dad, 12

Dad keeps complaining that he can't sleep at night.  I find that hard to believe.  He probably doesn't realize how much he sleeps.  He falls asleep in the chair in front of the TV a dozen times a day (that I notice) for about 20 minutes at a time.  So he probably sleeps more in bed than he realizes.

His awareness of sleeping is iffy.  He often denies it when I've been right there seeing him wake up.  It's hard to miss.  The downward angle of the head, the non-responsiveness to my walking around him, etc. 

He responds to what I assume are dreams as if reality.  He will suddenly wake up and go "answer" the door, or the telephone.  Or he will suddenly ask what I asked for help with (when I was just sitting quietly. 

He may be reverting to his childcare years, too.  He will suddenly ask toward the end of a meal if I have had enough to eat.  At the end of a recent dinner, he asked if I needed butter.  At least he hasn't asked me if I need to go to the bathroom...

He is having trouble not falling down when he walks (fell twice this week).  He has a walker and a roller, but I can't get him to use those yet.  He doesn't hurt himself (well, maybe it is more of a collapse to the floor than a real fall), but I'm going to have to insist soon.  My plan is to get him to use them for brief outside walks first, then back and forth exercise hallway walks in the house, then finally for everytime use.  I understand that the walker represents another loss of ability that he resents, so I don't want to just say "every time, NOW"!  It wouldn't work.

At least he maintains a healthy appetite.  And nutritionally, he is probably better off than anytime before in his life.  I don't say that lightly.  HIS Mom was a very good cook and  MY Mom was a good cook, but neither of them had any idea of "balanced meals" (his idea of properly-cooked vegetables are "boiled to death".  Gramma might have made GREAT chicken and dumplings, but that doesn't make a balanced meal.  Mom provided vegetables with each meal, but that's where his idea of "boiled to death" vegetables came from.  Heck, I never knew veggies could be cooked less than "mushable" until I went off to college and started to learn to cook for myself and discovered "steaming".

So, for the last 2 months, Dad has been getting a lunch sandwich that has lots on lettuce and some onion along with the meat (and he LIKES them).  For dinner, there is some fresh meat (usually baked or braised), a tossed salad, a potato (he insists), a green veggie and a yellow/orange veggie.  He always says it is "too much" but he eats it all.  I am going to try reds, like beets, next.  One change at a time...

He was basically just eating hotdogs, frozen fish, bread, and ice cream before I got him up here with me.   Easy to prepare in the M/V.

Still, I know I'm just sticking a finger in the dike.  Things will get worse.  He will REALLY start falling, will lose appetite, REALLY not sleep (or sleep much of the day), have routine audio and visual hallucinations.  His conversation already makes little sense SOMETIMES, one day it will make no sense MOST of the time...

A part of me wants to observe this carefully so that I have a better understanding of what is to come for me.  But I'm not sure how useful such knowledge would be.  When that time comes, I won't remember these days.

Que sera, sera...