Groundhog Wars

If you are sqeamish, don't read further.  I don't mean that I am showing bad pictures (there are none).  But I am fighting with groundhogs that damage my garden.  I mean, they destroy my food. 

Today, while I was weeding the garden, I heard an odd thrashing noise nearby the fence and old toolshed where a groundhog had taken up residence.  I had let Ayla out and feared she had tangled with the groundhog.  She is, in some ways, stupidly fearless.The only tool I had on the way was a gardening spade.  I grabbed it and ran toward the noise. 

I may also be stupidly fearless.

When I got to the fence, I saw the groundhog run into the burrow under the old toolshed.  I have GOT to make that space inaccessible!  But I also sawsomethng else.  3 groundhog pups huddled together 20' away from the burrow.

2nd Warning:  Violence ahead...


There I was with a garden spade, expecting to protect my cat from an adult groundhog.  What I found was future garden-destroying varmint pups.  I had the garden fork in hand.  They had no flight instincts.  I dispatched them as quickly as possible.  I didn't like it, but I did it.  Nothing needs be said further about that.

I did not enjoy it.  But I thought it was necessary.  Every year when a groundhog lives under the toolshed, my crops are ruined.  That is my food.  Last year, they ate all my cukes and most of my bean plants.  I am determined to drive the adult away.

I scooped up one dead pup and put it in the entrance burrow.  I moved a barrier board out of the way enough to place a second dead pup in there.  If that doesn't make Mom Groundhog leave the property, I will take further measures.  I am growing crops for ME, not her.

If I had a 10 acre farm and lost 100 sq ft to a groundhog, I wouldn't worry too much.  But last year, I lost every cuke and bean.  Between my organic safe food and the groundhogs, they are going to lose every time.  I have been tolerant for years, but the tolerance has ended. 

Mrs. Groundhog will die next!  And I will bury mesh wire 18" deep all around the shed to prevent any new ones coming back in the future!

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When I was 14, my dad took my brother and I out to a huge field to "hunt" groundhogs.  He had a whistle that made them stand up to look around for danger.  Toward twilight, he whistled at them again.  One stood up a long distance away. 

I laid down for a careful shot.  Dad laughed and said I couldn't aim that well.  I pulled the trigger and the groundhog vanished.  He said I scared him with the shot.  I said I got him.  I was insistent enough to make him walk with me to the spot.

There was the dead groundhog.  I nailed him right between the eyes.  He brought the dead ground hog home an made a stew of it.  Trust me, it doesn't taste like chicken.  He did it because he was being mean.  I made him look wrong.

I hate groundhogs...