A Surprize Today

I garden.  I garden a lot.  I've been gardening almost all my life.  My Dad gardened using "modern" synthetical fertilizers and chemicals.    His soil was hard as rock and his hybrid veggies tasted funny.  His garden struggled to survive.  Every year, he had to roto-till the soil to loosen it enough to pland seeds.

Grampa was a gardener.  He was an organic gardener.  He grew Winter cover crops that died back in Spring.  He used natural fertilizers.  To plant seeds, he merely dragged a grub hoe along the row in the soft soil.  He planted heirloom seeds.  His crops were lush and tasty.

When I got my first chance to garden, I followed Grampas practices mostly.  I subscribed to Organic Gardening magazine.  Organic Gardening magazine was rather dull.  The writer's were straight-forward folks concerned with getting good crops.  They would say things like "Don't fertilize your crops, improve the soil; good crops come from good soil" and "Grow earthworms" and "You should be able to push a finger all the way into your soil.

But the magazine was failing in the 80s, the old writers were dying off and they chagned their approach.  They hired Mike McGrath as editor, paid more attention to new crop varieties, and began to promote "organic living" as a lifestyle.  Which was not all bad, but I wasn't really interested in the newest organic clothes, installing bamboo floors, or cooking.  Well, OK, I was interested in cooking, but I had a cooking magazine for that.

Mike McGrath was editor-in-chief of Organic Gardening magazine from 1990 through 1997.   He brought a less-serious approach to the magazine.  In fact, he turned the Letters section into his own personal stand-up humor show.  My recollection is that Organic Gardening magazine tried to become "hip.  I didn't like the change and switched to National Gardening magazine.

Mr. McGrath returned as the the host of the nationally syndicated public radio show “You Bet Your Garden” since 1998 and WTOP radio Garden Editor since 1999.  WTOP is a local news/weather/traffic station in Washington, DC, where I live.  On Saturdays, he has a few-minute spot each hour with gardening advice..  "You Bet Your Garden" is not on any local stations here.

Trust me, this IS actually getting to a point eventually, I PROMISE...

I used to listen to WTOP weekdays during the morning and afternoon commute for traffic and weather information.  I only discovered his Saturday episodes by accident.  And remembering his tendency for joking about letters from subscibers, I was unsure about his advice.  And I was justified in that.  His radio spots usually took listener comments and made fun of them, always pointing out why they were wrong. 

BUT, he did give good advice on the timing of gardenwork and he was organic, so I listened.  Then I discovered the WTOP website and found all his spots each week were on a single theme and readable at any time.

I often disagreed with his advice.  I learned why this week (more about that below).

His Nov 2nd theme was composting and he said there were some things to never add to your compost (food scraps, wood ashes, junk mail, and lawn clippings) and that he would explain about that the next week.  In the Nov 9th article, he didn't!  And because I add 3 of the 4 items to my compost, I was curious.

So I emailed him.  He is experienced, but so am I.  I didn't want to challenge him, so I focussed on the food scraps (wood ashes are perfectly fine in slight amounts and lawn clippings from organic lawn are fine, too but there can be problems).

I pointed out that he had not explained about the "forbidden" compost items as promised and that I really wanted to know why not food scraps.  I included a few pictures of my compost bins and explained that I used food scraps successfully.

To my utter surprise, he replied!  And this is where it gets interesting...

He asked where I was located and added "Beautiful Compost Bin".  So I said MD and sent a couple other pictures explaining some of the details of the construction.  He replied again and asked for a more specific location.

After a couple more email exchanges, he stopped replying and I expected that was the end of it.  Well,  OK, he's busy and has radio spots to create, and exchanging some positive emails was reasonably exciting.  But that wasn't the half of it!

The sound bites on WTOP are actually written beforehand and posted on the WTOP website Fridays under a "Garden Plot" menu item.  The spoken radio spots are broadcast (usually) at :51 minutes on the hour Saturday.

When I casually looked at it Friday (yesterday), I WAS THE ENTIRE TOPIC OF HIS POST! 

I initially cringed seeing "Mark in Waldorf", because he tends to tell people what they are doing WRONG.  But not THIS time!  He showed pictures of my compost bins, adding "who built some of the most perfect compost bins I have ever seen".  I was drop-dead stunned...

Granted, he defended his position on wood ashes, lawn clippings, and even food scraps.  But he credited me with knowing what I was doing, and added something that made me reconsider my opinion of his posts.

He ended his post with:

"My weekend shots of advice are geared to impart the knowledge to accomplish success in 50 seconds".

And 

"Bottom line: My goal here is to get as many listeners as possible to shred and use their fall leaves. Spent coffee grounds are the single best addition. Everything else introduces the risk of compost failure, and I want first-timers to achieve compost success.  So shred those leaves! (And, hire Mark to build your bins.)"

And I finally understood what he was getting at.  He is trying to help beginners and casual gardeners to achieve some success in the easiest ways to encourage them to continue gardening and learn more.   His goal isn't to try to teach ME how to compost; I know how to do that.  His goal is to get some people started at it easily, and to help newcomers who are having problems how to do it better. 

Sometimes you can to help people start by making things simple, but workable.  I get that now, and my opinion of him is improved.  Sometimes, you have to understand intent in order to understand what other people are doing or saying, and that isn't always easy or obvious.

Mike wasn't telling ME not to use food scraps, wood ashes, and grass clippings.

He was discouraging beginners from just making a garbage pile of kitchen waste, dumping buckets of burned pressure-treated wood pallets (with all the toxins in the ashes), and putting chemically-treated synthetically-fertilized lawn-clippings into their new compost bins and being disappointed when nothing happens because the pH, toxins, and lawn-weed killers kill off all the microbes that make a compost pile work.

He knows *I* know that food scraps do properly decompose, clean wood ashes from normal trees are OK in small amounts and that grass clippings from my organic lawn are safe to use in my compost. 

And I will be sure to listen to his radio spots later today, LOL!

In Memorium

Stanley Martin Lieber (aka Stan Lee) died November 12th at age 95...

I just read the sad news.

I was 11 in 1961.  In the newstand, a tiny little corner on the block of the main street of the town I had been moved to as my Dad followed promotions as a civilian working for the Army, I used to scrape together a quarter to buy used Ace Double books.  One day the owner said "Hey I got some comic books, you can get TWO for a quarter.  Not funny comics like Bugs Bunny.  "Adventure Comics".  I looked at one.

It was the original Fantastic Four.  #1.  It was new and crisp in my hand.  No one else wanted it.  I held $300,000 in my hand not knowing it.  To me, it was 12 cents, half my weekly allowance.

I was hooked.  A whole bunch of regular people, adults even, not like Superman who bored me being invulnerable.  They argued, they had problems, they sometimes didn't want to have POWERS... 

Two for a quarter!  That was a whole hamburger and fries then.  And I was a very hungry 11 year old.  I bought it.  And I bought the next one, and the next.  I was in a whole new real actual world where there were people I admired.  Not Supermen, just people struggling. 

I kept all those comics for years and added more.  And there were more.  Spiderman became my idol as I grew up.  He had problems just like I did.  High school, bullies, understanding girls. 

And one day, I noticed letters in the back of the comics and the same guy whose name was on the front talked to us who read them.  I was one of the "true believers" he spoke to.  His name was Stan "The Man" Lee and he had some friends who helped draw the books.

I wrote to him, but never got a letter published.  That didn't matter.  I knew he read them, and that was enough.  I followed FF and Spidey and Thor (back when Thor was Don Blake and smacked his cane on a wall in a cave).  What matterred was that they were PEOPLE who had powers, not powerful beings with a secret identity.  Like me, you know...  Spidey was really Peter Parker (high school nerd), not Peter Parker hidden alias of Spidey. 

The Thing was just a guy changed, not The Thing hiding as Ben Grimm.  Etc.  Other characters were included, all with some problems in their lives.  By the time I went to college, I had a steamer trunk full of the "comics" master-minded by Stan Lee.  And drawn by geniuses like Kirby and Romita. 

I had no space at my college dorm for the steamer trunk, and other expenses to fill my days.  When I got my first apartment, Mom told me I needed to take the steamer trunk of "junk" or she would throw it out.  No, she didn't throw them away, I took it.

At 25, I still loved re-reading them.  But I was also utterly poor and was eating hamburger-helper diluted with more hamburger-helper.  I went to sell them. 

None were in great condition.  The comic book store guy didn't even want them.  He showed me a dozen FF #1s in good condition (which mine weren't), selling for $1 each.  But another guy was trying to open his own store and offerred me a nickle per issue regardless of condition.  500 comics times 5 cents was $25.  It paid my rent for the month and some food.  I never asked Dad for money after college.

Worst deal I ever made in a way, but rent is rent and food is food.  I sure wish I had them back, though.

Stan Lee, et al, brightened my life before high school and after.  His and other Marvel characters gave me the thought that a little luck and a lot of struggle could make you a good person, and that was worth trying for.  One could do worse for heroes...  And I knew who started them, Stan Lee.

And after decades, the movies started.  Pretty good ones.  I even loved the FF movies most people panned.  Didn't matter, they were my heroes.  Most movies ruin origins, and I hate that.  But it didn't matter.  I loved them all.  They were both memories and dreams. 

In my life with "comics", there was Marvel and there was DC.  DC was for high school grads and drop-outs; Marvel was for college level.  Superman fought idiots,  The FF fought Dr Doom.  DC characters had teen sidekicks; Spidey fought The Sandman.  And was who he was because he let the person who killed his Uncle go loose and struggled with that all the time after.  Not to mention Gwen Stacey.  DC characters always started each day without much of a history, like a sitcom.  Marvel characters carried their history with them every day. 

They were damn near "real".  Or at least human.

I loved the way Stan Lee showed up in all the movies.  No one important, just a cameo as some passer-by in life.  I'll miss that.

It's getting hard to type...

“Excelsior” and "Nuff Said", and Thank You Mr. Stanley Martin Lieber.

Ouch, Ouch, Ouch!

Yeah, "OUCH"!  I'm a fairly active person, but not an exerciser.   I have too much actual work to do to waster energy and time exercising.  And I do that somewhat regularly (bad weather intrudes sometimes for a few days).  And with yardwork and home projects sometimes comes stiff muscles, cramps, etc.  Getting older doesn't help much either.

I'm used to it.  If I have to grip something hard for a lengthy time (shovel handle, chain saw, rototiller, I know I can expect some hand stiffness hours later.  Lifting stuff and bending causes muscle cramps on my sides sometimes.  And I get leg cramps lying in bed irregularly.

And, as I get older, I have to get up at night more often (calls of nature).

But I didn't expect to get out of bed Saturday night and almost fall over from sudden lower back muscle pain.  I'm used to feeling a bit stiff when I get out of bed, but the usual solution is to just stretch.  And I'm agile enough to clasp my hands behind my back, lean forward and raise my clasped hands toward my head.  A few "popping" sensations and all is well.  I suppose a chiropractor would know what I'm doing.

Until Saturday night!  I put my feet on the floor and stood up and almost immediately fell forward.  Fortunately, I had my hands on a chair.  But my lower back muscled refused to let me straighten up. 

And it HURT!  I managed to hold onto things to do my business, but I could barely stand erect and only with some pain.  Same thing each time that night.  In the morning, same thing, but after forcing myself to walk around a bit, the pain reduced to a mild stiffness though I was aware of discomfort all day.  An Ibuprofen, and some Aspercreme on the lower back muscles helped.  By the end of the day, I was walking relatively normally.

Same Sunday night and Monday day.  Same Monday night and Tuesday day.    By the end of Tuesday, I was walking normally, but I can still feel it now even as I type.

I HOPE I merely over-exerted myself cutting down 3-4" junk saplings and hauling them out to open space for cutting up some other day, and that it is temporary and will go away soon.  But I recall my Dad had back problems younger than my current age and did some daily exercises. 

I sure hope this isn't permanent.  I'm scheduling an annual physical and will be sure to add this to the list of complaints.

But in the meantime, I have things I need to get done before Winter sets in.

OUCH!

Pre-Frog

My tadpoles have legs!  But they still have tails too, so they aren't ready to hop onto the surface (according to everything I read).  But I will put  small piece of wood in the tank for them to use when they are ready.

There were originally 7 tiny tadpoles.  I used pond water in the tank (to seem natural to them) and added plants and algae, and algae wafers.  Changed the water once a month (good for my bettas so assume good for tadpoles).

There are only 5 left.  Don't know what happened to the 2.  At least I never saw bodies.  Fed them ground spinach to help.

There is a small bubbler tube in the tank.  Barely moves the water, but I think it adds enough oxygen by changing the surface.  Not enough water movement to bother them AFAICT.

But they have been slow in developing.  I'm sure they should have been full-grown frogs by now in the pond.

But there is the dilemma.  Would any of them survived among the already full-grown frogs in the 5' diameter pond?  Frogs are cannibalistic.  I've probally kept them alive longer than they normally would, but mayb one would have grown to frogdom.

And what do I do with them now?  None of these are prepared to hibernate over Winter at so undeveloped a stage of growth.  I have an unused 20 gallon long aquarium I could keep them in over Winter, but what would I feed them?  Petsmart doesn't sell frog food last I checked (and I asked).

How did my Summer curiosity about watching a few chosen tadpoles develop turn into an ethical problem about the lives of a few wanna-be not-quite-yet frogs?

DR Brush Mower

I had brambles and wild blackberries and wild grape vines taking over 1/2 the backyard.  I tried lopping them down, I tried a hedge trimmer, I yanked and pulled.  Nothing was getting me anywhere.  The stuff grew as fast as I could cut.    And most of what I cut had thorns which managed to grab at me.  Some days, I looked like I had been attacked to a pack of rabid weasels.

So I bought a DR Brush Mower.  It wasn't an easy decision.  Those things aren't cheap.  And they come with serious warnings about possibly injury.  So I watched videos of people using them (happily and unhappily).  I read about them.

I admit that when I saw people just chopping and mulching shrubs and 1.5" saplings with the self-propelled kinds, I gave in. 

The delivery was all messed up (it got lost in Baltimore for 2 weeks), but it did arrive.  I uncrated it with some difficulty but got it freed.  I read the instruction manual 3x. 

It is a funny thing.  There are large heavily-treaded wheels on the back and pipes like thick sled runners in the front.  The engine could power a motorcycle.  The blade is a sharpened rod of metal 1/2" thick.  My riding mower blade is turned by rubber belts; this thing is all metal gears.  There are 3 forward speeds and 1 reverse by levers at the handle.

I got it started up in the garage and drove it around back.  I gave it a brief try into the edges of the brambles and it reduced them to mulch.  It doesn't cut and ground level like a lawn mower; it just pushes stuff over flat and grinds it up.

There are some limits.  It doesn't handle raised areas or stumps of saplings larger than 1.5 inches.  But OMG, does it chop up anything it can propel itself onto and over!  My first run-though was exciting; I left a path of mulch as I went.  The reverse gear is really valuable.  The brushmower gets into places where there are brambles left above, but just reversing pulls it back out.  Its not easy to turn around in tight places, but powered backing out helps.

It can't do much about grapevines and greenbriars hanging up in trees.  I've learned to use a hedge trimmer to cut through the wild grape vines and my electric chain saw to cut saplings over 1.5" at ground level first.  But using the brushmower to clear paths through the brambles gave me access to them.

Spent the first 2 days with the brushmower, cutting paths through the bramble and shrubs and small saplings.  Yesterday and today, I used the cordless hedgetrimmer to cut vines and small briars to get me access to the larger saplings.  I used the electric chainsaw to cut larger saplings. 

I was worn out, and rather minorly injured all over.  Even cutting as many vines as I could with the hedgetrimmer, there were still some out of reach creating odd tensions on the tree.  So everytime I used the chainsaw, expecting the 3" diameter tree to fall in a certain direction, it fell on me!

And malevolently!  The tree would fall, pushing of my hat, and then looping briars around my head.  This is AWFUL work!  But it is my fault I allowed things to get to such a state and I want to personally clear every last inch my self.  Matter of pride and obsession...

Here are "before" pictures...

And here are the first "after" pictures (before today's work which I haven't taken pictures of yet)...

More "after" pics soon.  But I can see some ground again.  I can see the back fence again. 

Post-Election Day

Well, you can't have everything you want on Election Day!  I suppose it came out pretty well well Progressives like me.  Possibly the best hint of that is that President Trump is royally annoyed.  But I'll stick to the election results...

Locally, there are no surprises in Maryland.  It is a rather solidly Democratic State.  Most every incumbent won, the 2 reasonably sensible referendums passed, and the local Board Of Education candidates were actually all pretty decent choices (sometimes there are whackos).  Gov Larry Hogan is a Republican and won re-election, but that is because he is rather Centrist and has done a good job of being bipartisan.  One has to respect a good Centrist if you want to get things done with support from all over.  His Democratic opponent was also good, but had less experience.

Nationally, I was pleased.  It was pretty clear that the Democrats wouldn't get control of the US Senate.  Far more Democrats were up for election in States that Trump won in 2016, so even random voting would have kept the Republicans in charge there.

The US House went Democratic as expected.  They needed to gain 23 seats; they have gotten 30 and it seems they will get about 4 more after some final votes are counted.  Most experienced professional political types guessed 30-40 and 34 seems likeliest.

That will have a profound effect on Trump (although he denies it and at the same time threatens The House with "investigations").  He is worried.  He always accuses others of what he has done himself, and threatens others with what he fears most himself. 

The House can start investigations of corrupt Trump officials, investigate his previously-hidden tax returns, and can impeach him if enough evidence is found.  Though I should mention (because it is often confused) that impeachment is merely an indictment; any actual trial would be held by the Senate.

Democrats gained about 8 State Governors, which was good.  I particularly cheered the ousting of the Wisconsin Governor, Scott Walker.  He was a real mess.  Among other things, he used an obscure emergency State Law designed to help cities with failed local mayors and/or situations beyond their control to appoint sycophants as City Managers with dictatorial powers. 

But the additional Democratic Governors will be in office during the 2020 post-census redistricting (an adjustment of voting districts due to population changes).  The Republican Governors have had a bad habit of arranging voting districts into weird shapes to arrange elections to their advantage. 

That is called "Gerrymandering".  It isn't a new idea.  The original example is from Governor Gerry in the 1800s in Massachusetts.  Gerry arranged a voting district so weird that it spread across the State in a very strange shape to gather all his opponents into one voting district he was sure to lose while winning all the others.  A local newspaper dubbed it "the Gerrymander" because it resembled a salamander.


Some of that gerrymandering will be undone.  It matters because it violates fair voting.  It has gotten so bad that, in some States, voters can choose one political party by 60% and still only get 1/3 of the House of Representative members. That is obviously not "democracy".

I will mention that the Senate is designed to be unfair like that (because Senators were originally to represent the State, not the populace).  California has 40 million residents and 2 Senators (like every State), and Wyoming has only 565,000 and 2 Senators.  So Wyoming has 80x the influence in the Senate per person as California.  Republicans control most of the lower-population States. 

That is why the Republicans can elect Presidents with a minority of the total vote.  6 of the last 7 Presidential elections have had the majority of voters choosing the Democratic candidate but only 2 Democrats were Presidents.

There were some close calls in some important elections.  Some Democrats who lost came closer than any in a couple decades (see gerrymandering, above) even in places where Trump won in 2016.  Some elections are still in doubt and will be decided in recounts or by yet-uncounted absentee ballots.  And some of the losing Democratic candidates did so well as first-timers that they will surely be more experienced and campaigning next time.

The next couple of years with Trump in office with a Democratic House Of Representatives should be very interesting.

Aside from all that, voter experiences vary by location.  Gerrymandering aside, there are other ways voters can be suppressed.  There are tricks the party in local power can affect things.  The Republicans did their best to make sure the groups of people they expected to vote against them could be discouraged.

In places where they wouldn't get much support, they reduced the voting locations, made them hard to find, even moved them out of cities to where there was no public transportation service, demanded exact name matches on several ID forms (even I have several legal versions of my name because I misspelled my middle name and heaven help you if you have a non-standard english name or a hyphenated one), challenged anyone with a Post Office Box delivery.

In some places, voters stood in line for 6 hours because their voting place "inconveniently" had too few ballots to fill out.  I stood in line for 3 hours once myself.  But here in (Democratic) Maryland, there are voting stations all over the place. 

So I walked into mine Tuesday, went straight to the check-in table (no line), then straight to the ballot reception table (no line), and then to the private voting stall (no line).  I filled out my ballot (paper so that it can be recounted if necessary and hard to hack) and brought it to the scanner (no line).

I was in and out in 10 minutes!  That's how it should be.  And how it could be if SOME PEOPLE (Republicans) weren't actively trying to prevent unfavored people from voting. 

Election Day

Today is Election Day in the US.

Vote!

I HOPE you will vote in favor of Democrats to counteract the Trumpian Madness, but the important thing is that you vote.

Voting itself is more important than the choice you make.  The more of us who vote, the more it reflects how "We The People" want our nation to go.  The more of us who vote, the more we all agree about the outcome.

Ask neighbors if they want a ride to the polls, regardless of how they will vote.  Email friends to remind them to vote.  Call older relatives in other States to remind them to vote.  A 70% turnout means more than a 50% turnout.  The more people who vote means we get a better idea what the country really wants. 

If you don't vote, don't complain afterwards...

Local Elections

All votes on Election Day are not about Presidents, Senators, and Representatives.  Sometimes it is about local judges, Board Of Education members, and ballot referendums.

It is very hard to find out much about Board Of Education member candidates, for example.  But there is a source.  Do a search for League of Women Voters and your State "League of women voters Maryland" for example.  They don't make endorsements.  But they do invite resumes in a structured set of categories.  You can learn a lot from the candidates there.

Some resumes include code phrases.  If you don't like extremely religious people, home schoolers, or conspiracy theorists, you can often detect that in their resumes.  So it gives you people to cross off the list.  Equally, if the resumes mention years of public school experience, analytic professional work, and education from legitimate colleges and universities, you know they have a good background.

The League of Women Voters also provide a very good but neutral review of ballot referendums.  They give the arguments for both sides briefly. 

If you want to know about the local issues, they are the right place to go.

I have my sample ballot all marked up to the lowest level of choices.

Elections

I follow some political TV (MSNBC mostly).  I love Chris Hayes and Rachel Maddow.  I get pretty worked up about elections, so fact-based analysis is good.

I am very glad the campaigns are about done and everything will be resolved in 3 days.  It all may go well, it may go horribly (from my personal POV), but at least it will be over for 2 years.  I EXPECT to be pleased with the election results, but then I thought Hillary Clinton was sure to win in 2016, so you never know.

I'll be honest.  I think Donald Trump is a lying wanna-be autocrat with no agenda other than to gain enough power to make him and his family rich (because he is far less wealthy than he pretends to be).

But what really scares me is his ability to lie routinely and in spite of corrections by fact-checkers who have no political affiliations.  He riles up people with outrageous claims.  One fascinating thing is that traditionally conservative Republicans are against him.  When George Will and Micheal Gerson are arguing against a Republican President, that President is doing something very seriously wrong.

Trump can't be allowed to run free.  The nation needs a check on his desire to become an autocrat.  The Senate looks to stay Republican.  But The House looks to go very "hugely" (to use a favorite Trump term) Democratic.  And he is desperate to avoid that.  The House has subpoena powers to investigate the financial corruption of many of Trump's Cabinet Members.  And many of them have taken advantage of their positions to enjoy a lifestyle of "the rich and famous".

They deserve to be investigated and removed from office.  I object to their goals of reducing environmental protections, clean air and clean water, allowing industry to pollute, etc, but also it angers me that they have some odd sense on entitlement to use taxpayer money for personal use.

True public servants don't do that.

I'm going complete Democratic Party ticket on Tuesday.  That's just my decision.  I have voted for some Republicans in the past, but not this time.  I'm voting for anyone against Trump.  I don't like the idea of voting a straight ticket, but Trump has to be stopped.

After Some Thought...

Well, not posting in order to try to escape some bad habits has been interesting.  I would say it worked about half-well.  The successful part was finding the sites that kept me up all night for no really good reason  But, as I sit here, I have a glass of wine at and and a pack of cigs.

Apparently, I am still stuck with wine and cigs when I'm on the computer for any longer than it takes to check email.  Old habits die hard, and sometimes don't die at all.

But less is better.  There is a difference between a pack of cigs and 2 glasses of wine vs 4 packs and a bottle.  The less is because I've stopped visiting a discussion board that kept me worked up all night and a game site that has been failing for a couple years.

The discussion board is an atheist site.  I'm an atheist, for anyone who didn't know.  I spent a lot of time there over the past 2 years.  I enjoyed the discussions and arguments, and there sharp people there on both sides.  But I realized that I wasn't changing anyone's opinion.  The other atheists just agreed with me, and the theists (ranging from creationists to philosophical believers) were as unlikely to be convinced to change their views as I was.  So there doesn't seem to be much point in debating there.

The game site was a wonderful discovery some years ago.  I joined because there were free classical games (Risk, Hearts, Backgammon, Scrabble, etc) and I enjoyed that.  Then I discovered that, by joining the site for a modest fee, I could play more dedicated gamers and earn a rating.  That interested me. 

But the site is losing paying members (who normally feel a duty to complete a game) and the free players just leave the instant they aren't winning.  I just received an email notice that my annual membership is up for renewal.  I think I'll give it one more year, but I suspect that will be the last.  Which is a shame, because I really worked for all those rating points.  Still, nothing lasts forever.

I've been busy while I was away.  Not staying up all night meant I slept better and was more active in the daytime.  I'll post about that soon, by project. 

I've decided I enjoy posting about things I actually do myself that mean something around the house and yard than arguing with intractable people about topics that will never be resolved or playing games that don't mean much.

My life is Not Going Right

Have you ever felt that too many things are just mostly not going right?  That you thought it was all OK, and then suddenly you wanted to screaming out into the night looking for a clue about how it should be going? 

I shouldn't be at 68, but I am.  Maybe I have lived alone for too long and it is finally catching up to me.  But I can't imagine living with another person 24/7.

Maybe I''ve just lived just lived in the same house too long.  But I can't find anything wrong with the house.  It is actually easy to live in, a nice circular arrangement of kitchen, living room and TV room with 1 and a half baths and 3 bedrooms at the other.  The yard is a 1/2 acre and that's not bad. 

Maybe politics is getting under my skin.  Sometimes it seems to me that we are collectively going crazy.  The world is getting crazier.  Nations are becoming more partisan and controlled by crazy people.  Evil people are learning to control the world again.  I used to think the United Nations could solve some things.  I don't think that now. 

Or maybe it is just domestic politics.  I used to think things were getting better there, but they seem to be getting worse too.  I used to hope about elections; now I just dread them.  Everytime the political commentators say we have hit the bottom, the bottom gets deeper.

Well, maybe the yard has gotten out of my control.  I was 36 when I moved here and felt I could tackle any problem.  32 years seems like yesterday in one sense, but ages ago in another.  I can't do what I used to do.

Or maybe it is just the same old same old furniture.  I've lived like a college guy in his first apartment with hand-me-downs.  And the furniture does mean something to me being old family stuff.  But I don't want "House Beautiful" either.  I live a relaxed style.  My parents once asked us kids what we wanted from their house when they moved to a Florida rowhouse.  I waited for my siblings to choose and then named some furniture after they chose what they wanted.  Dad kept bugging me to chose "something".  I didn't expect them to be alive when the time came to "claim the stuff". 

I didn't want what I had "claimed".  It was a fancy walnut dining table with chairs, china cabinet, lowboy, etc.  That's not me.  And I'm introspective to understand "why".  When I was a child, I wasn't allowed to do any rough stuff on the "fancy furniture".  Maybe if I bought fancy furniture on my own it would be different, but who knows? 

Rosewood seems interesting, but I would be afraid to live with the stuff.

The garden is frustrating.  Not enough sunlight.  I could poison a few trees to make enough sunlight get through, but I can't get myself to do that.  I found a spot where the sun shines brightest,  and planted 3 tomato plants there in July.  And I got more heirloom tomatoes from there in the past 2 weeks than I got in the regular garden all Summer.  All at once of course.  I picked 7 tomatoes today.  I can't eat 7 tomatoes today.

I understand this doesn't match the problems some people have.  But they are MY problems

But together, it means I'm not in the right place, I'm not happy here,  I want a different house (all one level) and I'm on emotional tear here.   I don't like my life.  I need to make some serious changes. 

And I think I am "losing it".  I'm going altogether nuts.  I want to move, but I'm afraid to because I have so much "stuff".  I'm afraid of losing my good city water.  I'm afraid of losing my Verizon cable service.    But I also want to get a good garden and escape this traffic jam of a city. 

When I moved here 32 years ago, it was on the outskirts of residential places, there were no trees round, and life was great.  Now it is a traffic jam morning to evening, I get no sun for gardening, and light pollution is so bad I haven't seen the stars at night for years. 

I'm being stupid.  But also real for me.