Relatives

I was visiting another site and a post involved visiting relatives when young.  It brought back some memories.  

We lived in Virginia at the time when the trip to the Grandparents took 12 hours.   Both sets of grandparents lived north of Boston, but near each other.  Well, that's why my parents met.

I loved visiting my dad's parents,  they had a large house and a small farm.  Grampa had a lobster boat, so we were drowned in lobster in many forms when we visited.  There was a tree house in the big apple tree.  We helped pick beans and corn.  Gramma was Amish and made wonderful chicken with dumplings.

She got up early and so did I as a pre-teen and teen and we played rummy until the rest of the family got up.  I helped her make breakfast.  It's partly how I learned to cook.  My Capt Crunch cereal there.  Waffles, pancakes, eggs...

Grmma never gave me any mercy when playing rummy.  I learned to win the hard way.  But the highlight of the evening was when the family sat down to lay "Cinch" (aka Set Back).  If you don't know what that is, it is like cut-throat bridge and Hearts or Spades.

I was allowed into the family game when I was about 13 or 14.  Gramma vouched for me for good Rummy skills.

Its a no-holds-barred game and no one gave mercy.  You declare how many tricks you will take and the highest bidder announces the trump suit.  You toss away all the non-trump cards and fill your hand to 6 -8 cards  from the remaining deck.

Gramma was infamous for saying "oh, I filled"  meaning she had a hand of all trump cards.  She played lethally.  She almost always won.  But it was played in pairs.  I was usually her partner when me visited.  The players were Gramma and Grampa, my uncle, Dad (Mom could never play cards worth a damn) and sometimes an aunt or two.

Dad had his Mom's killer instinct, but his best game was poker.  Gramma and I thought alike and usually won.  It was never kindness to me as a kid.  Like I said, they all played to win; they would beat their kids at Candyland when they could.  It was altogether wonderful.

Every year, we went to a great chinese restaurant. 

And then we had to spend days at Mom's parents.  That was altogether awful.  They were Victorian.  The house was always dim with fake Tiffany lampshades everywhere.  Kids couldn't do anything fun.  You could hardly see anything after sunset.

The house was practically a mausoleum.  Chairs had doilies to protect the fabric.  The most exciting thing was a next door kid who could flip backwards and land on his back.  I mowed the lawn "for fun".  

 Grampa was kind, but very religious.  He once took me on a walk as a child just to get me into a church.  He thought that might change my whole life.  I felt cheated and lied-to.  The high point of our visit was when Grampa would walk us to a candy store.  We couldn't have any actual candy, but a candy bar was allowed.   I always chose a Skybar.  It had 4 different pockets of flavors.

Gramma Mom's cooking was horrid and I learned why Mom couldn't cook either.  Every vegetable had to be boiled to death.  If brocolli wasn't gray, it wasn't cooked enough.  Meat was boiled and if you haven't had a boiled steak, I don't recommend it.  One year, Gramma Mom even bought a watermelon "for us kids" and she cut the heart out for herself because "why would children care"?  

I did and Mom shushed me.

Aren't different grandparents weird?

A Happy Day

Yesterday was a happy day (as is today).  Joe Biden was "called by" the TV networks as the President-Elect.  That doesn't make anything official of course, but they are rather careful about announcing their expectations.  Even Fox News declared that Biden had won, and Fox is a rather die-hard Trump supporter.

I wasn't entirely sure how the Networks could be so certain in some States where there were 100s of thousands of votes left to count and Biden had a 10,000 vote lead or even was losing, but the political TV show hosts gave some detailed explanations later.    

A lot of it had to do with the difference between how Democrats and Republicans voted this year.  Usually, the vast majority of voters vote on Election Day.  But this year, because of the pandemic, States increased the opportunity to vote by mail or early in person at a few locations.  Democrats voted by mail or early; Republicans waited until election Day.

Mail-in and early votes take longer to process.  And the votes from large cities (which are very heavily Democrat) always take longer by sheer volume.  Between the two, the cites needed days to report votes (and none may be truly complete even now).  Overseas, military, and post-marked-but-not-yet-delivered mail-in ballots still have a few days to arrive.

But professional network vote-counters know what voters were still to be heard from Saturday, the almost-certain voter registration, and typical return rates.  A good example was Pennsylvania.  The low-population rural Counties were mostly Republican and had 99% of their votes reported Wednesday.  The major cities were mostly Democrat (approaching 90% in some) and had reported only half of their votes.  

So when Trump was ahead 30,000 votes and 500,000 were still due from Philadelphia and Pittsburgh with a typical Democratic majority of 70%, there was little doubt about the outcome.   The States will not announce a winner until the last vote is counted in about a week from now, but the Networks could have a confidence factor above 99.9%.  Well, they don't want to make a mistake like "Dewey Beats Truman" again and besides, they have MUCH more information available now.

So, essentially, the voting is over.  Biden will be the next President and Harris his Vice-President.  The Electoral college will confirm that on December 6th.  Biden will have won with 4 million+ total popular votes.  I am relieved.  I've been waiting for this day for 4 years!

A long national aberration is over.  Trump's victory in 2016 was a hiccup.  Painful to be sure, but temporary.  Biden has promised to return the US to international agreements, balance taxes, restore environmental regulations, organize a National response to the Covid-19 pandemic, attend to excessive force by police against minorities, etc.

To quote President Ronald Reagan (something I never thought I would do) "It is Morning in America".

To quote President Gerald Ford (after Nixon's resignation) "Our long national nightmare is over".

To quote the Munchkins from 'The Wizard Of Oz':  

"Ding-dong! The Witch is dead
Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch!
Ding-dong! The Wicked Witch is dead
Wake up you sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed
Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead..."

And I'll offer a panel from 'Doonesbury' from after Nixon resigned:

Today, I will sleep easier than I have for some months. 

Cabinet Door Change

I expect the US election results to take days.  So life goes on...  One thing that has annoyed me for 25 years is an upper cabinet door.  My fault, I installed it that way.  I always assumed that cabinet doors right of the center should open toward the right and cabinet doors on the left of the center should open to the left.  

Assumptions are stupid!   The cabinet door nearest the passageway from the kitchen to the TV room has always gotten in the way.  I have hit my head on that SO MANY TIMES!  I would open it to get someting and forget to close it because I was in a hurry.

I clamped a straight edge under the door for ease in keeping it level while I changed it left to right.  THe kind of hinges it hhad allowed that easily.

But getting the screws out was a nightmare.  They wouldn't budge.  I wedged a screwdriver against them; no movement.  I finally hit them with a hammer to loosen them.  No luck.  Squirted some lubricant in.  That got them out with help of Many Bad Words.  Took many many minutes of struggling.  

So I put some paper tape where the new holes would go, reversed the door, and clamped it in place to mark the new drilling spots.  Took the door off and drilled.  Well, you have to be careful about drilling holes for screws.  No small and they are really tight.  Too loose and they don't hold well.  I have a little plastic gadget that has holes to measure screw size and recommends the drill size according to soft wood, hard wood, and metal.  Cabinets are mostly pine or particle board, so I started small.  

The screws wouldn't go in all the way.  And were hard to get back out.  So I went to the next size drill bit.  Same problem.  Went larger and squirted in the lubricant.  It got worse.  

I think the lubricant actually made the wood swell up a bit.  After 30 minutes, I was almost ready to try NAILING the damn hinges in, but I knew that wouldn't last.

Part of the problem was that I was up on a stepladder and you can't get much leverage on a narrow thing like that.  So I took a dining chair and clamped IT to a board against other lower cabinets so IT couldn't move.

With that bracing, I finally managed to get the hinge screws in with the door level and opening properly.  The whole process that should have taken about 5 minutes took 90.  The Mews were all hiding in the bedroom by that time.

I am not a trained or especially natural carpenter.  I do my best.  Persistence usually works and I've never built anything that failed structurally.  But damn, some things are harder than they should be.  

But I succeeded...  The open cabinet door won't be hitting my head again.

I always win eventually, but it sure can be a struggle sometimes!

The Night Before Election Day

A poem expressing my concerns the time before Election Day in the US... 

"Twas the Night of Election Day

As I paced through the house.

Would we get back to normal, the old voting way

Or would Donald steal it, the Cheating Old Louse?

 

I knew that the polls

On MSNBC

Had the Biden team goals

Being granted, you see.

 

But that's what I thought

In '16, when we "won"

But Hillary still lost what most of us sought

So I won't count my chickens until the last one.

 

Cuz Donald makes Tricky Dick

Seem like a nun

Saying he'd cheat the People with legal stuff sick

By saying the voting was over afore it half-done!

 

He said he would do it

Then said it was fake

And when shown the recording a bit

Said "Let them Eat Cake".

 

And spent 15 minutes

Defending you see,

What he claimed he had not said

To the cameras and we.

 

The businesses all boarded

Their windows today

In expectance of armed crazies with guns all aloaded

If Electoral College count drives Trump away.

 

They will say it is fake news

Conspiracy proven

The Deep State and Anti-Fa fears fanning their illusions

Of being the majority as the Biden's prepare move-in.

 

Or maybe tis I to weep who shall

Weep deep bitter tears

At the end of our laws and see autocrat gall

Replace freedom and voting for may yet years. 

 

Ben Franklin once said

When asked by the crowd,

If we had democracy, monarch, or dread

You have a Republic, defend it or be cowed.

 

Republics are fragile

Just ask the Old Greeks

Or the Romans who had some experience a while.

Nothing good lasts for long, go and vote or be weak.

 

So I pace the floor watching

The news of the day.

I think that the outcome will likely be fetching

But I won't be relaxed for many a day.

 

It takes time to count ballots

Mail-ins take some time.

And Trumpians are trying legal tricks quite lots.

But I think that when Electors meet, Biden gets the dime."

 

Odd Neighbors

I've mentioned my odd neighbors across the street before.  The lived there a couple of years several years ago, and  moved back last year.  It is a rental place.  I think the guy is the son of the McMansion guy next door to that house.

They yell a lot late at night and usually outside and I mean 3 am.  The one child I see always seems unhappy.  

Now there is something new going on.  They change the color of the light bulb at the side door every few days.  Sometimes it is red, sometimes blue, sometimes purple.  Well, fine, you display and decorate as you like.  None of my business, I suppose.  But I tend to try to understand patterns and this one is "interesting".  

When the guy changes it to red, the woman comes out and screams "not again"!  Talk about a mystery...  Drugs?  Prostitution?  Poker game night?  Who knows...

I worry about my immediate next-door neighbors sometimes too.  They are the ones who decided to burn brush near my wood fence underneath small dry trees last year during a drought until I demanded they stop.  Their only fire control was a small bucket and a kiddy pool.  Well, their 2 young kids were suddenly outside screaming at midnight.  Midnight?

I went outside and saw the woman standing on the porch and asked if everything was OK.  In a monotone, she said "yes".  I asked again and mentioned that neighbors can help if there is a problem and she called the kids inside and closed the door.  

The lady across the street in the McMansion was out walking her dog and I asked if she had heard the screaming.  She didn't answer directly, but said the kids play in their yard sometimes and seem OK.

How do you know what to do in a situation like that?  Maybe they just let their kids stay up late in these odd pandemic days.  Maybe they are having problems but feel safe in the neighbor's yard around the friendly lady and the friendly dog.  Maybe there is nothing wrong and I am becoming a busybody.

Or maybe I will see police cars at the house some day and know I should have called some authority. 

I VOTED!

I voted.  Not sure whether it counts as Friday when I watched the Mailperson pick up my mail-in ballot or when the Election Board acknowledged (by email) receiving it Tuesday (and they initiated the email).  But apparently it was acceptable and will be counted as if I was there on Election Day.  My State of Maryland has a general view that as many people as possible should vote, that IS sort of the purpose of a democracy after all.

I watch the political news channels most of the day*.  I see about States where the Republicans fight to reduce voting as much as possible and the Democrats fight to make things easier to vote.  It amazes me.  I would rather my candidate lose honestly than win through trickery.   MSNBC discussed a list of lawsuits the Republicans have tried or are trying to reduce voting.  

My apologies to any Republicans who also want to see increased voting.  There are honest people in both parties.    Just, it seems, fewer.  

Fraud is not the actual cause of Republican concerns.  Republican, Democratic, and neutral academics  have all looked for examples of voter fraud the past few years and none of them ever find any.  Well, there was a minor case of a Republican who did some deliberate trickery in North Carolina, but it was easily detected and had little effect.  And one Democrat tried to help elderly local voters by going around and collecting legitimate ballots and delivering them to a Ballot Drop-Off Box (but the investigation revealed he delivered ballots supporting both parties so he was merely advised on the law).

There have been some more serious local concerns.  In some majority-Democrat areas,  Ballot Drop Off Boxes have been set on fire inside to destroy ballots.  It is the major and organized attempts to suppress voting that concern me and I won't go into detail here.  Since those are on the major news channels, I don't have to go into that.

*  Cable TV is becoming lower-quality again.  There isn't much information stuff to watch.  The Science Channel used to have great shows about actual science, now they show cheap garbage about alien contact and paranormal stuff.  The History Channel thinks shows about pawn shops buying 50 year old stuff is "history".  National Geographic thinks shows about animals is "geographic".  National Geographic Wild thinks shows about zoos is "wild".  Animal Planet thinks Vet shows are about the only animals.  And they even deceive about that.  "Dr Pol treats cats" actually means 10 minutes of cats and 50 minutes of dogs and horses.

I have a lot of good science, nature, and history DVDs.  But I know them all by heart now.  We need new ones...   I really need to get my CD player working again.  If it isn't just some failed wire, I have a new one sitting in a box for 3 years.  I really need to pull everything away from the wall and solve some problems.  I just hate wiring and plugs. 

 

Laz

I have mentioned recently that Laz has been getting better in adapting to the house.   I may not have have mentioned HOW much better he is doing.

There is still an occasional hiss from Ayla (she is reluctant to trust him) and when you get attacked, you remember it.  And I don't blame her for remembering being attacked.  But I haven't heard a screech in a week (maybe 2) and only softer hisses.

Laz is reacting positively to being let outside.  He got over the fence once a couple/few weeks ago (I think from my compost bin) and observing him desperately trying to jump back up (down is easier than up), I don't think he will do it again soon.  And besides, I now have a board set on the likely jump point loose on edge.  If he tries to jump from that, he will have a very negative experience.  On the other hand, if he does do it, I have one fence board barely attached so that he has a way home.

I know I said I was going to build a small enclosure for him to sit outside in, but I realized what he needed was "running around space".  He is young, full of energy, and I think the outside (in limited and controlled conditions) are good for cats.  

Being outside and exploring the yard (usually with Marley and/or me outside with him) has calmed him.  At first, he did not respond to my calls to return to the house.  The outside was too strong an attraction.  But lately, he has been responding.  That is a major success.  

I am pleased to say he now routinely comes in when called.  It helps when he sees Marley coming back to the house, but he more often does it on his own.  Not always, of course, but what cat ALWAYS responds to calls immediately?

The point is that he usually does and is getting better at it.  That I give treats to all when they do helps.  Well, you can't give treats or food to one and not all.  They KNOW!  I swear, I could give treats to Laz out in the yard and Marley and Ayla would be waiting for theirs inside.  Ayla has several special places where she expects food and sometimes I think that if I even WROTE about food, she would go to one of her places expecting some.

Not to get off-topic entirely, but Ayla decides WHERE she will eat.   I sometimes have to follow her through 3 rooms until she decides where the RIGHT place to eat is.  LOL!

But back to Laz...

Laz is calmer around Ayla.  Ayla has been more willing to come out of the bedroom and Mews Room.  Laz is much more "touchable".  He used to stay just out of reach walking by, but now he comes close enough for a back stroke and sometimes attention.  He loves chin rubs and strokes when he is on the cat tree platform and he flops right over on the waterbed seeking attention a LOT more than he used to.

He talks constantly.  He has a voice like a rusty gate, but even then, not as loud and worried-sounding as a couple months ago...  He is getting better in bed.  He used to push and shove against me very hard.    That might have been desperation about contact with his "new safe Being".  Now he has learned he can stay there longer with softer contact.  Laz and Ayla have peacefully slept around me the past 2 weeks and that would have been impossible a month ago.

Thinks are looking a LOT better than just a few weeks ago.  I think Laz has made some adjustment in his mind (forgot some bad memories, learned new ones, reconsidered his position here, learned to calm down, discovered he could expend youthful energy running around the yard, learned to trust me, connected to Marley, accepting Ayla, etc).

So Laz is here.  And he won't be going anywhere.

 

Political Stuff

It's a week before the US Presidential et al elections and I'm losing my mind.  I don't mind saying that I voted for Biden.  If Trump wins I think my head will explode.  I have disliked the candidate I didn't support before, but never felt complete utter disgust.

I mailed my ballot Friday.  I hope it gets there on time.  I mean, it only has to travel to the next town and 11 days should be way more than safe.  I could probably mail a letter to someone in China in 11 days.  I have a tracking number, so I will check in a couple days.

My State (Maryland) is so Democratic it probably wouldn't matter if it didn't.  Even my County (which was very Republican when I moved here 34 years ago) is now thoroughly Democratic.  Maryland is so completely Democratic that neither Trump nor Biden bothered to visit here (that I know of).  I don't even get political telephone calls or emails.

Still, you never know until it is over.  I went into some shock when Clinton lost in 2016 and even waited 2 days for everyone to announce they reported it wrong.

I was watching some TV interviews with people doing early voting in person today.  It was about how long they had been waiting to vote.  Most said "several hours".  But when the interviewer asked one lady, I just KNEW the answer.  "4 years".  And that is exactly what she said a few seconds later.  I often do that with movies, new commercials, and political speeches.  

I'm waiting with bated breath for Trump to do or say something dramatic to try a last-ditch effort to win.  Announcing  a Covid-19 vaccine, a major tax break for the non-wealthy, firing Mitch McConnell, a war with North Korea, something, who knows?  

He's desperate.  If he loses the election, a half dozen States are just waiting to charge him with a boatload of tax crimes, loan fraud, and who knows what else?  If the Department of Justice is free of his control, they might have things to investigate even he can't pardon himself for.

So nothing Trump does between now and the election will surprise me.  But watch me get surprised.  "Aliens are arriving November 2nd, NASA says so"...

If Biden was up 20 points in every State, I would still be worried.

And I ponder the consequences of Trump still being in office until January 20 even if he loses.  He could do a lot of damage in rage and revenge.  And that would be in his pattern of past behavior.  Let's just say politely that "he does not respond well to rejection".

If Trump loses, I will credit Biden for staying calm and rational in the face of insults and attacks.  I will credit Harris for energy and support and fundraising.  I will credit Obama for getting on the campaign trail at the end (not too early, not too late) and being himself at his best.  His campaign speeches were great.

But mostly, I will credit the Democratic voters who turned out in 2020 who didn't turn out out for Clinton (though if they had, we wouldn't be in this hot mess),  the Republican voters of 2016 who realized that they made a mistake (everyone makes a mistake sometimes) and changed their minds about Trump,  all the Republican strategists and columnists who turned away from Trump in the past couple years (that must have been hard to do).  

And I also will credit the resiliency of American Democracy.  Not that other Nations don't have some strong traditions and history of their own, but the Trump Presidency has been a particular challenge. The US is often said to be a "Nation Of Laws".  Sometimes that means we pay more attention to "laws" than we do to "justice".  My personal opinion is that we depend on law and limit justice in hopes of fairness and consistency.

But, as we have discovered in the Trump Presidency, we are more a Nation of "norms" than we realized.  It wasn't until Trump and Senate Leader McConnell started ignoring the informal rules that this legal loophole became clear.  Decades and even a century of informal rules have been broken or ignored for short-term political gain.

Past political leaders have always played "hardball".  They bullied their own party members to get things done and threatened the other party with consequences.  Political leaders have a lot of control over campaign funds to recalcitrant party members, funds to States, and laws which benefit some industry or not.  Politics at the top level are not for sissies.

But some rules have been agreed upon by both sides.  You don't kick the opponent party TOO hard when they are down, because the boot will be on the other foot soon enough and revenge is certain.  If you want something, you give a little bit to get what you really want.  You talk to each other to understand what they care about the most.  If you need a bridge built in your State, you look for someone on the other side who needs a highway in theirs.  Give and take.

In a democracy, "politics is the art of the possible".  In an authoritarian government, politics means "stomping on the opposition and grinding them into the dirt".  It means destroying the Civil Service.  It means ridding the government of any and all of the people who are experts in their fields who disagree with you.

Trump has been working toward "authoritarianism" for 4 years.  It's time to call a halt to the whole damaging process and get back to the usual "fight like hell but obey the norms" again.

Secret Pooper

I have a wildlife camera.  One of those things you set up to take pictures of deer and whatever.  I set it up to figure out which of the Mews were pooping on the bath mat.  Well, I knew it wasn't Marley, I've been cleaning litterboxes a long time and 16 lb Marley's are larger (and I know he uses them because he isn't shy about it when I am in the basement near them).  And Ive never caught Ayla or Laz using them when I could see.

So it is either Ayla or Laz and it started when Laz was here a few months.  But Ayla was stressed when he arrived.  Aya could be avoiding wandering the house, or Laz could be claiming territory.  So can't tell.  

I set up the camera.  Sadly, it was too close to get a decent picture and both Laz and Ayla went in and out of the frame.

So I set up a raised platform which gave a better view and was slightly farther away.  That should work.  And there were 2 pooping incidents.  

Aha, "gotcha ya".  So I pulled the little SD disc out of the camera yesterday and loaded it into the back of the computer and opened the file.  Nothing. 

The camera was "off".   It's maddening sometimes.  There isn't any light that tells you it is "on".    The display that says the "battery condition" apparently doesn't mean the camera is on or off.  There is a small "status light" that never lights either way.  

So the "Secret Pooper" remains unsure.  There is no great harm being done.  The bath mats are easy to wash and I have 2,  one to set to air dry after washing (I wouldn't risk running a rubber-backed mat through the dryer)  and one to set down.  And better on an easily washable bathmat than a room carpet or wood floor.  

But the mystery continues...

Got Some Yard Stuff Done

It wasn't easy, but at least it isn't raining most days,  That sure helps.  It;s uncomforable pulling up overgrown weeds when everything is wet.  I tend to agree with the cats - yuck on the WET!

So it was dry enough to get into the overgrowth.  And it was still bad.  Brambles, wild blackberry canes, and those damn little triangular green "sticky seeds" from some weed.  And those plants with purple stems and purple berries that stain everything they touch.    

Well, you start by cutting them all down. and dragging them out.  And heavy leather gloves even let you handle the damn blackberry canes.   So I got most of the bad stuff eliminated at ground level.  From there, I can dig without being grabbed by thorns.  

So of course, it started to rain...

I have a trailerful of sapling debris loaded.  But the County yard debris drop off place is a pit.  So if it rains,  its all mud.  And it has rained most of this Summer.  I need a week of no rain to dispose of this.  And I have 2 more loads to go.  

The extra unloaded debris has been stacked up in "easy to move" piles and the grass has grown up among it 18" high!  I need 2 days to bring it all away.  I'm not allowed to burn it.  

The backyard has gotten overgrown again.  I have a brush mower.  But thinking I would use it one more time last Fall, I left gas in it.  Now I can't start it.  And the only repair shop here is a slow expensive place for even such a simple repair.  I deal with wood, not engines.  I need to drag the darn thing out and try some tricks about cleaning carburators.  Or hand it over to the repair place and wait 6 weeks for a $200 bill.  I really hate messing with gas engines, so it falls 50/50.  But I need to clear the back yard of the overgrowth.  

I have other stuff that needs chain saw work.   Half a tree died and fell over a couple of months ago.  Fortunately, it barely missed the 2 nearest saplings I planted 2 Falls ago and are getting established.  But vines are growing up them.  I removed vines last Fall, and have to do it again.  I think I will cover the ground around them with 3 feet square of old carpet.  I've done that with other young trees and it works well,  Regular old carpet lets rain through but not weeds weed up.  Dont try that with outdoor carpet though.  It has rubber backing and rain won't sink through.

The meadow bed has reached its full growth of  weeds and grasses and desirable flowers for the year, so I know what to pull out and what to leave.  That should improve things a lot for next year.  The bad news is that it is mostly weeds.  One thing I have learned is that a meadow bed is HARD to establish and takes more attention than I realized.  The bad news for the weeds is that I am VERY persistent.

It is a constant struggle, but some meadow bed enthusiasts say that persistanse WILL win out and the the flowers will shade out the weeds.  I hope they are right.

Where I leave bare spots in the meadow bed from pulling up grasses and large weeds, I will dig up black-eyed Susans and Purple Coneflowers from the garden paths where I don't want them (volunteers) and transplant them.  And I'll be saving seeds from the desirable flowers for scattering around next Spring.  They are all self-seeders but I will help them a bit with a very thin layer of compost in March,

You do what you can...

Laz Screwed Up Yesterday

It wasn't a great day yesterday.  In the morning, Laz suddenly decided to  attack Ayla when she dared to come out of the bedroom.  He had been good for days, so both she and I hoped he was getting used to the house.   And I thought that the outside time of the past few days was calming him down.  

He got to run around, explore, discover new things, wander around with Marley, etc...

No such luck.  He suddenly lit into her RIGHT AT MY FEET.  Forgive me, but I had to kick him to get him to stop!  And he went right after her again!  She ran for the bedroom with him right behind her.  I followed.  She hid.  

And he had the nerve to look back at at me like "what's wrong".  I comforted Ayla.  No wonder she is peeing on the bathroom mat and in the toilet.  She dares not go down to the litterboxes.

Laz follows Marley around outside.  When they tussle inside or out, he tussles friendly.  I don't know why.  Maybe he tussled rough and Marley beat the crap out of him...  But Ayla can't do that.  She is becoming terrified of him.

I've been patient and attentive to Laz.  I know he had a hard start in life and I've treated him carefully and gently.  But basically, he is a mean bastard.  I don't know what to do.

And yesterday afternoon, when I let him out with Marley, things seemed fine.  At one point I briefly went out front to get the mail.  When I came back in, he was in the neighbor's yard.  He jumped the fence.  And he was crying and calling.  Well, there is a spot where a cat can can halfway up so getting UP is easy.  and getting down is easy.  Getting BACK up is harder.

I got him to follow me back and forth near the fence.  He tried to jump up but couldn't.  I finally unscrewed a fence board off so he could walk right through.  Would he?  NO!  Not will I was there.  He doesn't respond to whistles, clicks or any sound I make.  After 5 months, he doesn't recognize his name or even "dinner".  I practically have to shove a bowl under his nose.

He came back through the removed fence board only WHEN I wasn't there.

Laz needs to be an "only cat".  And I think an indoors cat.

He is GREAT around ME!  Flops down in front of me and requests scritchies.  Never suggests using a claw.  Likes me a lot.  And for himself, I like HIM.  He just can't be around other (or maybe just "smaller") cats.  

I have never given up on any cat in my life before, but I am beginning to now.  Maybe I'm just depressed, but this is not working out.  Laz needs a different home and I feel like such a damn failure saying that.

Any suggestions?