Cat Problems

 Loki has decided the bed is a good place to pee.  Which is difficult for me.   I finally figured out that the pee spots on the bed were from Loki.  I caught him in the act finally.  I need to research "inappropriate peeing".

I have several alternating layers of sheets and blankets on the waterbed, so washing them all takes a lot of time and effort.  I did that today and placed a plastic tarp on top.  Let him pee on that and see how he likes it!

And he likes chasing Lori.  Unlike Laz (who chased Lori viciously toward the end) Loki wants to play "chase" (I hope).  But Lori doesn't like that either.

Binq thinks my hands are toys to grab at with claws out.  And that my legs are scratching posts.  But she is getting better about that.  

Lori still hates both newbies.  And still has diarrhea after almost 3 months.  It is less than it was, but sometimes suddenly bad.  I have a new med for her and will hope that helps.  She is struggling with the last few months of insanity and the arrival of the "Unwanted Newbies" (from her POV).

Marley is staring to resist his kidney food diet.  I add some regular food on top, but he stops below that.  Putting him in The Mews Room with his bowl usually works.  

Lori gets the bedroom for her mealtimes lately.  The peace helps her eat.  I may have to isolate Loki for meals too.  Binq eats everything quickly and takes Loki's bowl too.  He has lost weight, so I have to get him to eat more.  Oddly, Binq isn't gaining any weight.  Maybe that is because she is very active in playing with toys.  

So there are problems here.  Not everything is bad.  The bad parts are infrequent.  There are good things too.

Each of The Mews love me individually.  If I stand in a room a few minutes, they are all there.  Loki follows we around the house constantly and seems distressed by any separation.  He even sits in the bathroom when I take a shower, and few cats like to be around heavy running water.

Binq doesn't want to share the bed at night, but she nearly attacks me in the morning for attention.  She just has "her time" for wanting me to pet/scritch/stroke her.  She is not a lapcat, but stays on the chair (top or arms) near me when I watch TV.

As I've said, Loki follows me around the house everywhere.  Nothing stops him.  If I'm putting laundry in the dryer, he jumps in there.  If I pull him out, he sits in the washer.  He sits on my lap when I am watching TV, sits on the newspaper when I am reading it during lunch.  The only time he is happy away from me is at meals.  

Lori wants to stay near me too.  She has always been close to me most times.  If Loki isn't near me, she is.  And on my lap if she doesn't see Loki or Binq nearby.  

Marley is always perfect of course.  Lapcat, tolerant friend to all.

I may have made a mistake bringing Loki and Binq into the house.  I thought "playmates" after her once-good relationship with Laz.  But it isn't working well.  But they are all here and it is my responsibility to try to get them all adjusted.

Driving me damn near crazy though... 

Cordless Drill

ARGGH!

The 2 batteries on my 2007 Dewalt cordless drill finally died, so I needed replacements.  The original equipment batteries are no longer available.  So I searched for replacements.  Eventually, I decided I just couldn't trust the replacement sellers.  Doing reviews of the companies, 2 came up "suspicious" and I doubt the others were any better.

So, new drill needed.  I checked 3 sites about the best new drills.  Wood Magazine, Consumer Reports, and a "Best tool" site.  Each varied considerably in recommendations.  That sort of thing can drive you crazy!  You would think ratings from a woodworking magazine and Consumer Reports (both of whom do detailed tests) would mostly agree.  They didn't.  And a "best tools" site might have a commercial bias. 

Reviews of all of the top few drills had many negative reviews on other sites.  It is altogether maddening!

I settled on one Dewalt drill based on experience with Dewalt tools in general, their consistently high brand rating, and some ratings.  And then couldn't find it for sale ("not in stock").  So I gave up.  

I went to Amazon, thinking I had found it.  It had a 5 star rating.  Yay.  Ordered it immediately. When I got the order confirmation from Amazon, I realized it wasn't the one I thought I was buying.  (GRRR).

Well, a drill is a drill is a drill and it got 5 stars from purchasers.  So, I won't cancel the order.  It comes with 2 batteries, a case and a charger.  If it lasts 17 years like the previous Dewalt drill, it will be well worth it.

The old one built 400' of fence, a 2 level deck, paneled the basement, and did endless odd-jobs for 17 years.  That's enough.  Time for a new one.

Busy Day

Finally started cleaning the basement to start planting seeds soon.  What a MESS it had become!   I could barely move around in parts of it.

Part of it is Loki.  He's an explorer and a real climber.  And when he jumps up of some places, they aren't as sturdy or stable as he thinks.  Appearances can easily deceive a cat.  They think that anything that looks solid is solid.  A stack of stuff can fall over.

So my stack of soil-filled planting trays (ready for planting) wasn't as sturdy as he thought it was.  It all crashed down and spilled the soil out everywhere!  

But most of it is my fault.  Last year, I had a bit of a return to some of the results of falling off the extension ladder.  Sore back, sore knees, some general fatigue.  So when finished with yard/garden work, I tended to put stuff in the basement wherever I could fit.

Well, you run out of space eventually.  Things don't get put away as they should.  Buckets stay a bit dirty.  Seed packets sit out and expire in the warmth (I usually keep them refrigerated).  Fallen soil collects on the floor.  And I fell into a habit of just laying in bed every night for 10 or more hours (mild depression, long covid, aging?) and that didn't leave much awake time for other than basic stuff (and blogging, which I just have to do).

I'd been meaning to tackle cleaning the basement for a month, but there was always something more immediate to do.  The seductive comfort of the heated waterbed, doing laundry, cooking, shopping, etc...  

But I've been getting myself up earlier lately.  Yesterday I made lunch fast, just skimmed the newspaper (must read the editorials and comics), and got myself down the basement.  Where on earth to start?  Well, if I am going to cook dinner, I want the kitchen clean.  I know I will make some mess cooking, but I need it to be clean to start.

So, in the basement, I picked stuff up off the floor, then swept it (I have a shop-vacuum, but I don't like the noise).  And sweeping is rather "meditative".  Quiet, repetitive, calming...  I knew I would mess it up again cleaning higher spots later, but it gave me a good surface to work from.

I mix my own potting soil.  When I run out of it, I mix more.  Which means I have bags of various stuff (peat, sand, compost, lime, fertilizer) left over.  I also used to buy kitty litter in 35# tubs.  They make great containers for the leftovers.  

So I combined 1/2 buckets of some of those and stashed them under my potting bench after sweeping that area clean.  Then brushed the empty buckets clean.  Stacked them up and set them in the garage.  That got me some space.

Collected everything that should really be out in the toolshed and set them next to the patio door for moving there by wheelbarrow (today was for organizing, not moving).  That got me some more space.  Took the trays I grow lettuce and other small crops in and dumped them all into a large shallow bin.  Broke up the chunks of soil and mixed it around with some organic slow-release fertilizer.  Refilled the trays and stacked them aside for planting in a few days.  

That got me the small TV-Tray-size worktable back.  It sits next to the basement refrigerator.  I use it for  holding bulk fresh food while I fit it into the fridge and I also use it for planting.  I was glad to have it available again.

I have a large planting stand, 2'x4' and 5 shelves high.  Bought it many years ago and added fluorescent light fixtures to the underside of each shelf.  Fluorescent lights last well and are energy-efficient, but at 14-16 hours per day, they last only months and even then, they collectively use about 800 watts!  And the fluorescent tubes aren't free either.

So, 1 1/2 years ago, I bought special "grow-light" LED) panels to replace them.  I haven't done that yet.  I need to take all the fluorescent fixtures off and install the LEDs, but I didn't have space (or energy) to do it before.  I am ready to do that now.  The LEDs use 1/4 of the energy and should last many years.  That almost starts to feel like "free", and the seedlings will get better light!  

But it will probably take an entire day to get that done.  I will remove the old fixtures one half-day and install the new ones the next half day.  Because I know my hands/fingers will cramp if I try to do it all in one day (and may anyway in 2 days).  

And I still have to clean the potting table.  The soil from the stacked trays Loki knocked over a couple months ago is still all over it.  The seed packets are still sitting out on the table and are probably useless now.  I have a pile of seed labels that need to be sorted out.  I rinsed out the old 6-pack cells a few days ago, and they are dry and ready to reuse.

Aside from basement-cleaning for planting,  I need to re-order many seeds.  It's a bit late, so some I want will be "out-of stock" now, but that's my fault.  Vegetable seeds will be easier to replace, but flower seeds become unavailable fast.  

But at least I am making some serious progress in the basement.

 

Falling Apart

I don't know what to do.  The Mews are becoming too much for me to deal with.

It all started to go bad when Iza died of some sort of internal hemorrhaging in April 2020.  She was only 12.  I decided to find another Tonkinese female.  I went to the breeder who brought me Iza, but she didn't know a source of Tonkinese (Iza was originally thought to be a "smudged" Siamese).

But she had a troubled half-Siamese male who needed a peaceful home.  And she thought I was the right person to help (re-socialize) him.  I accepted him.

And that is where my long-standing happy cat-household went wrong.  I loved Laz personally and he loved me in return.  But adopting him ruined everything since then.  

Laz attacked Ayla (my Princess) for months and made her miserable.  She hid from him and restricted her life in the house.  She spent most of her days on a high windowsill just for safety.  She shouldn't have had to live her last year like that.

I finally found a Tonkinese female kitten from a championship breeder (didn't know about that at the time).  Laz and Lori became BFFs.  Until one day, Laz's bad memories returned and he started attacking her too.

Ayla succumbed to old age last Fall.  Stopped eating and all that.  Laz was going violently insane by that time.  I could only just finally release him weeks later from the terrors of his kittenhood, as he was attacking Lori daily and viciously.  The vet agreed.  Laz went to The Bridge.

Which left Marley and Lori.  Marley is a trooper and stayed calm.  Lori seemed lonely.  So I thought to find her a companion of her own age.  

I have avoided Shelters.  The contracts seemed a bit threatening about "right to visit and take a cat back:,  But I went to the Shelter because I saw a nice orange kitty on their website.  

She hated me.  But 2 others were very friendly.  I decided to adopt both.  The male (Loki) came with a head infection and spasmodic abdominal coughs (which he got over with meds).  The female (Binq) was clawy on my pants and claw-grabbed at my hands constantly.   She is getting better about that now.

But Lori hated them both (and still does).  Lori developed a diarrhea problem almost immediately.  I assume it is stress.  She dribbles syrupy poo everywhere she walks a couple times a day.  It has been this way for 2 and a half months.

It doesn't seem to be any physical issue.  On the Vet's advice, we have tried everything in that concern.  Lori just won't accept the 2 new ones.  The vet and I are convinced Lori's diarrhea problem is actually psychological.

We can't seem to solve that.  The vet suggested I lock Loki and Binq in a room for 2 weeks to give Lori control of the house.  I can't do that.  They are too active, they want my attention constantly.  I tried it one night and they banged the door, cried loudly, rattled the door, and scratched at it constantly to get out.  I couldn't sleep at all.

Lori is getting an orally-administered paste 2x a day and a pill (for biotics).  She also gets a half pill for "calming".  But nothing seems to help.  A few nights ago, she crawled under my blanket and driibbled as she went in.  She soled the sheert, the pillow, and my elbow.  She peess on the blanket too.

Last night, she dribbled while walking.  And on the blanket.

So I have to do something.  And all bad choices...

1.  Rehome Lori  (and that would break my heart).  I worked too hard to get her and I love her so much.

2.  Return Loki and Binq to the Shelter.  But they are so happy here and love me.  I've had many loving cats here who were "attentive' but Loki is nearly "adhesive".  He can't stand to be away from me.  Binq is getting rather "lovey" towards me.

3. Put up with the current cat-fuss.  And hope Lori calms down?

What do I do now?

This can't go on...

Lori Update, Part 3

 I can't keep track of Lori's meds in the brain.  So, I had to find a way to track them.  The Washington Post sends out a small cheap calendar each year to subscribers.  I had it in the recycle box and retrieved it.  Purrfect!

I labeled each med container with a code (L1, L2, L3, etc).  "L" for Lori, of course.  Then I wrote down each with the code and timing on a small notepaper and taped it to the cabinet door above where I set up their foodbowls.  

Every time I successfully get Lori to eat a med, I write the code number on the calendar for that day.  I may be retired, but I always was an information organizer.  LOL!

Now that I've gone through everything about Lori's problems from my POV, I'll return to Mark's Mews for  how things go for her and the other Mews.  

Thank you for reading all this...

Lori Update, Part 2

So we were at the Vet, 

discussing Lori's long-lasting diarrhea problem.  The vet has prescribed a few meds.  There was originally Fluoxetine to reduce her stress about Loki and Binq joining us, a pro-biotic to improve her digestion, and of course an anti-diarrheal (generic Immodium).    None seemed to help much.

Stress is hard to manage but Fluoxetine would help, and the Vet said the anti-diarrheal should work in just a couple days and the pro-biotic would help.  That was "then".  Lori's problems are mostly unchanged.

I say "mostly", because she does seem to be getting slowly used to Loki and Binq.  Hisses are not automatic.  She no longer ambushes them with an attack (mild ones because she is smaller).  

A week ago, I saw her sniff noses with Loki.  And most times now, she can simply walk past Loki or Binq calmly.  But it very slow progress.  There are still brief paw-whaps, but not like it was the first month.  Mostly, Lori just wishes they would "go away".

So the vet and I discussed other possible meds a few weeks ago.  Fluoxetine does mention diarrhea as a side effect (among many).  The vet said it is very rare, but has to be listed on the medical sheet if any cats in the testing had it.  

One suggestion was Amitriptyline.  I tried it.  She wouldn't eat any food with it for 3 days (and maybe a reason she had lost weight).  I gave up on that (and the Vet admitted it tasted bad to most cats).  And some of you warned against it as "zombie-stuff", which I appreciated, not knowing anything about it.  

So on the Friday vet visit, we decided to start over, with the idea that Lori was very gradually accepting the presence of Loki and Binq so physical distress was becoming the more likely problem.

So, more of the anti-diarrheal and pro-biotics, assuming the stress wasn't the major factor.  And the Vet suggested it could be the food.  Also, we are trying Metronidazole (as Benzoate) 125 mg/ml Susp 10 ml Chicken-Marshmallow.  It is an antibiotic and antiprotozoal medication.  The Vet tried a dose in-office of a formulation most cats will accept (butter/cream flavor).  She spit that right out.  So they called Wedgewood Cat Pharmacy, who suggested the "chicken/marshmallow".  It should arrive in 2 weeks.  Hopefully, Lori will accept that.

Originally they said (there are several vets and I trust them all) to give Lori one brand/flavor constantly.  So she has been eating Fancy Food 'Chicken Feast' exclusively for at least a month.  I'm going to change her to a fishy food and see if that helps.

She has happily eaten various flavors before, but the vet says there is a possibility she has developed a problem with one.  So we will see if a different one lessens her digestive problems.

We discussed various ways of getting meds into her.  I've tried about all of them.  Simply adding a pill to her food doesn't work (there is an empty bowl with the pill sitting at the bottom).  Pill-shooters don't work.  Pill pockets work for some meds (if dusted with powdered freeze-dried chicken).  

My best luck has been with crushing a pill with a spoon on a plastic placemat and scraping that into her bowl and mixing it in.  She will almost always eat that, especially if she has the privacy of the closed bedroom.

The newest pro-biotic comes with paste and pills.  Paste (orally from a plunger) and pill ground up.  Lori fights the oral paste.  For a small animal, she is suprisingly strong!  The towel-burrito trip barely helps.  But I've learned that if I just smear it on her lips, she will lick it off and ingest it.  

Tomorrow:  Keeping track of meds...

Lori Update, Part 1

I brought Lori to the vet for her rabies shot and to discuss her meds with the vet Friday.  The rabies shot went fine.  They clipped her nails too.

She is still having diarrhea.  It has been well over a month now, and I'm worried.  The vet can't really tell if it is a digestive problem or stress.  She doesn't even seem to know she is dribbling.  There will suddenly just be a line of little "chocolate syrup" drops as she walks around...

 A couple nights ago, she wanted to get under the covers with me.  And as she was getting in,  she dribbled on the pillow and sheet (and my elbow).   Sometimes it is on my blanket, sometimes the hallway, sometimes near or in the litterbox.  

It doesn't seem to connect to any immediate fuss with Loki or Binq, but maybe there is some psychological lag involved.   It is bothering me more than it is her.  I don't think she knows it is even hers.  She just knows she has to clean herself more often.

I've been doing a lot of floor-cleaning and laundry.  I soak the washcloths and soiled parts of blankets/sheets in the basement laundry tub with a 1/4 dose of bleach and then launder them separately with regular detergent and a spoonful of powdered Oxi-Clean.  

The mess itself doesn't really bother me.  When I was 15, Mom presented us kids with a new Sister.  Being the eldest, I was the natural baby-sitter.  And as such, changed a whole lot of diapers.  And back in the 60s, that meant reusable cloth diapers that had to be swished around in the toilet before being put in a special diaper bucket.  And sometimes I laundered them too.  

I probably changed and cleaned more diapers than most husbands back then.  LOL!

So the mess and the cleaning part are not unfamiliar.  But I sure wish Lori was cured of the diarrhea problem.  The mess is annoying, but I'm mostly concerned about her health.  She has lost a few ounces over the past couple months.  Not enough to threaten her health, but it can't continue.  She is down to 7.2 pounds (from almost 8).

I think I'll stop here and address the Vet visit more tomorrow.

Good Day

I had a good day!

1.  Received notice from the County Court that my request to be permanently excused from jury duty was approved.  I feel bad about that in a way, but I just can't sit for hours istening to lawyers argue making bad arguments if I can't be part of the discussion.  And I'm certain most of the people in the waiting room won't wear masks.

2.  Grocery shopping - Peaches and plums are back!  I love those.  Had to laugh recalling the produce staff guy saying they only carried them "in season".  I know thew start getting them from the southern hemisphere about now.  And he did too, but just wanted an excuse to not fulfill the weekly ad.

3.  Cleaned up a lot of mess from The Mews.  They run around a lot and tip stuff over.  That's OK.  Active cats are better than boring ones.  But I did a lot of sweeping and stuff.

4.  Cleaned all the litter boxes as I di every day or two (depends on usage).  The new high-side litterboxes are working well.  Loki likes to pee straight backwards, which went over the sides of the regular ones. 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B7JKP75J?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details

5.  Pork stir-fry and 2 shrimp rolls.  Home-made.  I discovered the Safeway has them in small bags in the produce section.  

6.  It snowed a few inches last week, twice.  When it melted I discovered the earliest crocuses were blooming!

There are about a dozen patches of them, but those are the 2 best.  

7.  Replanted a lot of pansies.  They were frost-heaved up before the established new roots. We had unusually low temps a couple weeks ago. Hopefully, there is still time for them get set with new roots and bloom.

8.  Received a new M/W.  The old one was deteriorating at the top where the magnet is.  Seemed dangerous, so I bought a replacement.  Best Consumer Reports rating (that fit my needs) of course.  Out with the old, in with the new!

9.  Took down the Holly branches I trimmed for height and attached to the front door and mailbox as Xmas decorations.  The leaves were heading to "pale", so it was time.

10.  Filled the 2 thistle seed feeders (for the finches) and the black oil sunflower seed feeder (for most of the others.  And replenished the 2 suet feeders.  Counted 6 pairs of cardinals there just an hour later and many other smaller birds too.  Well, male cardinals are easier to count.

11.  Covered much of the raised garden beds in black plastic.  By planting time in May, the weeds should be dead.

12.  Cleaned muddy work shoes.  They got bad enough when I had to bury Laz.  And worse when I had to bury Ayla.  And it was hard, so I just left them in the basement.  But you have to go on, so I cleaned them top to bottom.  After a few days, when they dry, I will polish them and the wipe "boot wax" on them.  They are 20 years old and fit my feet like a glove.  I would hate to have to replace them.

Enough for 1 day, right?  LOL!

Summoned!

To jury duty...  

I was of 2 minds on this.  I wish to do my civic duty.  And I would probably be a good fair fact-based juror.   Not to make a joke, but I've watched '12 Angry Men' several times.  The movie is drama among people, but the content involves facts and perceptions about a trial.

But I've been through the jury selection process before once and that was reality.  I sat in a waiting room on a hard chair.  I had nothing to do unless they called my juror number.  I sat bored to death the entire first day.  

The second day, I was called for jury duty.  After sitting on another hard wooden chair, the judge briefly explained the case and asked if anyone had a difficulty being fair and honest.  I did.  It related closely to a family matter.  I was dismissed, but still subject to some other kind of case.  For 3 more days.  8 Hours each day.

So I finally received another jury summons a week ago.  I didn't want to go through that again for many reasons.

1.  I wasn't going to sit in a crowded room with most people not wearing masks.

2.  Still nothing to do for 8 hours (OK, I could have brought crossword puzzles).

3.  Hard wood chairs in the waiting room..

4.  Hard wood chairs in the jury box.

5.  I "zone out" when people babble away and I can't participate in the discussion.

6.  I need to pee too often.

7.  Just "sitting" drives me nuts.

8.  30 minute drive to the courthouse (farther then I've driven in many years).

9.  Can't feed The Mews for at least 9 hours and 2 need small timed meals.

So I spent some time thinking of ways to get out of jury duty.  Sick cats, "zone-out",  can't just sit, sick people around not wearing masks, etc.  

If chosen, I will sleep through the trial".  I considered "I will roll dice to determine guilt".  I considered  "In the jury room, I will neither speak nor vote".  Anything to avoid sitting around for 8 hours for several days.

I feel horrible about all that, but I just won't sit among unmasked sick people and go bored out of my mind at the same time.

I should have read the entire Summons Form first.  It asked a lot of questions.  Was I a felon?  Was I indicted?  Was I in the military?  Was I out of the US?  

But there, near the bottom of the list, was the "out".  "If you are over 70, do you want to the temporarily or permanently excused from jury duty"?  

PERMANENTLY, YES!  I filled out their online form and it suggests I am free of hard chairs, hours of doing nothing, and possibly sick people.

30-40 years ago, I would gladly have served.  

Stuff

 Random and varied...

1.  I would like to go to bed, but I don't feel like I can sleep.  Yet I have to get up in 6 hours to call the vet about one of my cats (Lori) who is having bouts of diarrhea.

The 2 new ones I adopted in late November (Loki and Binq) came with some difficulties.  Loki had a head infection, eye goop, and lack of appetite.  That's all cured.  Binq was very claw-grabby and finger-bitey but with some steady and gentle discouragement (and me wearing heavy jeans), she is getting over that.

2.  I finally buried Laz last week.  He was bagged in the basement freezer for 45 days.  I just kept putting it off.  I have a dedicated Memorial Garden for past cats.  But the soil is very hard 6" deep and I go for 2'.  Took 2 days, and I have bad knees, which makes pounding on a shovel and jamming a breaker bar miserable.  But he is part of "The Remembered" now.  I miss his good days as BFF with Lori so much.  But that ended as he slowly went crazy.

I still have to build the aboveground marker boxes for Laz and pre-deceased Ayla now.  Like these...

Angled fronts for brass letters of the names and a brown resin statue on the top.  Those simple brown resin statues are getting harder to find.  Best I could find for Ayla and Laz are...

Not what I really wanted, but they will have to do.  

3.  I feel like visiting some obnoxious discussion forum (that I disagree with entirely) but I won't.  I don't live to annoy others.  

4.  Turned off the Holiday lights last nights.  This year, I may actually remove them.  I have some ideas of different ways of using lights in the yard next year.  The lights have been up since 2020, (only lit for the holidays of course).  Time to change things next holiday.  I'm thinking an artificial tree on the lawn with blue lights.

5.  With all the rain lately (so soft soil), I decided to pull the birdfeeder pole more upright (it was leaning slightly).  So I tied ropes around the feeder pole and 2 trees.  By Spring, it should be fairly well set in place.  There is a lot of clay at the bottom, and that 2' deep, it tends to keep things in place.

6.  Need to do the same with the post the hose reel sits on.  When I first set it up 10 years ago, it was upright.  But pulling on the reel pulled it forward a bit.  It still works, but the angled post annoys me.  If I rope it straight up over Winter and Spring, it may lock in place horizontally.  

If not, I will wiggle it around until I can pull it out and than enlarge the hole to set in in concrete with some rebars pounded in at angles to really hold it in place.

7.  Replanting all the lettuce trays.  When a hard frost threatened back in early December, I brought them all in.  But didn't put them under lights.  Most died.  I have to start again.  

8.  But that means a lot of cleaning in the basement.  So that is the primary task tomorrow.

9.  So many things I need to do around the house.  And most of them I can't do myself.  So I have a list of contractor projects.  Windows, doors, linoleum flooring in the computer and cat rooms, new appliances, new water heater, get the emergency electric generator hooked up, change the decrepit asphalt driveway replaced with concrete.  Well that's what money is for.

10.  Get the computer cleaned up.  Get the laser color printer printing in color again.  Get the laptop working.  Learn to use my smartphone.

That's enough problems for a year.