Department Stores Actually

Camo actually comes next time.  I have to provide the backup story first...

My first real job was at a department store.  I had a small aquarium and wanted some additional fish.  The pet department at the store had a lot of community-oriented fish.  But I was offended at seeing so many dead fish in the tanks and complained about that to the guy at the desk (I'm a talented complainer about inhumane conditions, apparently).  

Turned out he was the Department Manager and asked if I wanted a job.  Being a broke college student (broker than a bad French poet), I accepted.  I spent 3 months getting the aquaria cleaned.  By that time, he got fired for incompetence, and the Assistant Manager (and I) took over.  She quit a few months later and I was left in charge by default.  

Ruined my college efforts; but real money in my pocket was too hard to resist.  I really fixed up the place.  I set up displays of breeding tanks of Bettas and Gouramis.  I set up a display (using a 2 gallon brandy snifter I stole from housewares) to show that guppies and live plants could form a self-sustaining system (back in 1972).  

Sales doubled.  The Regional Manager (department stores were then called "departments" because each sales "department" was actually a company that just rented space from the store - I have no ideas how it works today).  I got praise.  I got bonuses.  But after a year, the company decided to shut down in Maryland.  The Regional Manager offerred me the management of their top department.  But it was in New Jersey, and I was still trying to get my college degree.  I declined.  I sometimes wonder how different my life would have been had I accepted.

So the store offerred me a job as a security guard at the loading dock.  BORING AS HELL!  My job was just to make sure truckers didn't steal stuff back into their trucks.  One day, the Manager of the auto after-market department (spark plugs, anti-freeze, oil) asked the loading dock Manager if he knew anyone who could become his Assistant Manager.  

I jumped up and raised my hand, explaining my experience.  He decided I was a better choice than an advertizement, so I got the job.  I excelled there too.  Then the whole store went bust!  I went through a couple other department stores.  I was even in charge of 1/4th of one before I realized there was no future in it.  In charge of 1/4th the store meant I got 10 cents above minimum wage.  And had to work all holidays.  I got tired of that.

A friend suggested I take the US Civil Service Exam.  I did, and scored 100 in all 5 sections.  Got me a job at an Agency I had never heard of.  Turns out I was really good at office work.  And the pay was better.

I eventually became the Voice Telecommunications Manager and retired happily the first day I was eligible.

I'll explain about the camo pants next post (really)...