And so much to do. Dr appointment for TB test and filling out the medical evaluation form for the assisted living house, dentist appointment for 2 bad teeth (that I didn't know about before a month ago), eye doctor appointment for "real" reading glasses to replace those drug store magnifiers I discovered he has. Clothes that fit. He has been wearing 34/30 and he NEEDS 36 or 38/26. And he really needs suspenders; belts are too complicated for him.
Its my fault, I let Dad decide what he needed It seemed right at the time. But I am correcting some mistakes as he moves out of my life. I just wish I had been more forceful months ago...
6 comments:
Be gentle on yourself Mark. You're doing a great job, motivated by love and respect for your father.
Megan
Sydney, Australia
Agree with Megan, don't beat yourself over this. We don't want to take over for them, letting them make some decisions lets them keep a bit of control. They feel better, even if those decisions aren't the best. Things have changed, you need to take more control.
Don't over buy on the clothes. Find out how often the ALF will do laundry for him. Decent fitting, average stuff will work.
Yes, be gentle with yourself. You have not walked this path before and are still learning. We just do the best we can at the time with whatever situation we are tossed into. You have done well - your dad has been lucky to have you willing to keep him for so long!
Yes, be gentle with yourself. You have not walked this path before and are still learning. We just do the best we can at the time with whatever situation we are tossed into. You have done well - your dad has been lucky to have you willing to keep him for so long!
Do not put that on yourself. He's your dad. No one expects the role reversal and no one knows how to deal with things especially when they don't tell you what's going on. Which they don't because, well, they're they parent!
Aside from opening his mouth and sticking your fingers in every day, how would you begin to know there was an issue? Aside from checking his waist band like you do a growing child, how would you know? Aside from grilling him about where he got his glasses, how would you know? You wouldn't, you wouldn't do any of those things either, no one would. So, these are not mistakes. These are things that are now at your attention and that you are now taking care of. Exactly as you should, and when you know about them.
Don't woulda, shoulda, coulda yourself. Heindsight is 20-20.
You did what you thought was best at the time.
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