1. Asks who is knocking at the door when I tap bowls into the trash.
2. Sees groundhogs outside where there are only piles of leaves.
3. Suddenly walks all around the house looking for me and forgets there is a basement.
4. Watches me making lunch (where I routinely make a large sandwich and cut it in a half for each of us) and asks (in seriousness) if one half is for him.
5. Shuffles in tiny tiny little foot movements, freezing in place a minute at a time, and thinks he is "w alking normally".
6. Needs to listen to the TV at volume 20, when 15 is normal, and then assumes that I can't hear it because his "hearing is excellent".
7. Thinks that walking to the bathroom and back is "good exercize".
8. Asks about the "explosion" when I drop a knife on the countertop. Yes that contradicts #6...
9. Asks for a calendar so he can tell what day of the week it is (think about that for a few minutes)...
10. Tells a cat to get off his chair and gets annoyed when they can't understand his words.
11. Doesn't undersand why not taking a shower once a month is a problem because "he doesn't do any work".
12. Believes in everything Fox News says because "they are the most-watch news show".
13. Worries hours about medicare statements that say "THIS IS NOT A BILL", because it might be a bill.
14. Asks how to open the drapes every afternoon this week, after I've shown him how to open them every day this week.
15. Can't use the very simplified TV remote I bought "specially for old folks" to change the volume. "Yes Dad, its that button labeled "volume".
16. Can't turn ON the TV with the simplified remote. I wrote on an index card for him. "Press PWR Button and wait until picture appears". He can't do that.
17. Flips deck light switch on and off rapidly hoping to get the drapes to open or close.
18. Calls all the cats "he" and "dogs".
19. Refuses to go to bed until I do. No "me" time. Sometimes I can pretend to go to bed then get on the computer if I am REAL quiet. I close the room door, open the window, and let in some wonderfully cool air...
20. HAS to have corn AND potato, AND bread with every meal. All those starches! But it probably doesn't make any difference at his age.