Yard Work

This will be a busy week (by my standards).  I'm completely taking apart my existing aquarium and cleaning it to start new after giving away my 10" plecostomus catfish (see yesterday's post).

Tuesday, a tree removal company (that I have good past experience with) is coming to remove the huge fallen tree in the backyard and 7 others that are starting to shade my garden.  I spent hours Sunday preparing a corner of the backyard and 2 other area to receive all the ground-up tree chips.  It will take several years for them to decompose, but I will have year's worth of great compost after that.

Yes, the tree company would haul the tree-chips away for free to the landfill (or maybe for sale somewhere, but I hate to waste organic material.  Eight trees will make several impressive piles and I expect that they will start to steam in the winter as they begin to break down.  And, for sure, I won't have to buy any mulch for the flowerbeds for many years!

I sure got plenty of winter exercise!  The corner of the backyard where most of the chips will go  used to be where I stored firewood.  It was so long ago that I had to push over old rotten wood and pry out cinder blocks buried in the ground from where I had upright P-T 2x4s to hold the firewood in place.  Carrying 10 cinder blocks 50' each is serious exercise when you are 62.  And then there were all the 12' 2x4s that supported the firewood across the cinder blocks

Plus, I moved stored hoses, removed hose supports, moved various planting buckets that have been sitting around for years, put boards over the pond runway so they wont puncture holes in it by walking on it or dropping tree parts on it (that liner is expensive), marked out areas where the tree removal crew shouldn't drag logs through (where plants were still underground but labels were above).  LOL, I even found my old compost sifter box and pried it out of the vines.

You never realize how much clutter you have around the yard until someone else is coming over to do something in it...

Three hours of heavy work!  I need them to move one bench that is too heavy for me to move alone, but other than that, I'm ready for them to arrive Tuesday at 7:30 am!  I can hardly wait.

It will be worth it for the greater sunlight when it is done!

Pleco Has A New Home

The Plecostomus catfish has a new home now. 

After the first round of emails on the Craiglist offer, I was pretty discouraged.  The first person to respond said he would be over that night after work, then the 2nd night because he needed his big net and a plastic container for transport, then... nothing.  The 2nd person also failed to reply a 2nd time after expressing great interest.  The 3rd and 4th never replied when I asked if they were still interested.

 And then there were the 4 pathetically obvious spam emails.  The grammar was so stilted that it was obvious they weren't local.  Forgive me for saying "typical bad chinese spammer translations".  But seriously, they mentioned how much their children wanted a sweet cuddly pet, asked if it had its shots, etc, as if it was a mammal pet. 

So I posted a new offer on craigslist and received two emails.  The first wrote like pet owners do, describing the large 210 gallon heated aquarium, the few large fish, the outside ponds and that there were only goldfish in the aquarium because they hate to leave them outside for the winter, the 2 dogs and 6 cats.  She asked if she could steal enough water that the pleco was used to so that she could slowly add her aquarium water to a cooler to adjust it to any pH differences, etc.  Hallmarks of a knowledgeable aquariast...

The 2nd person sent a picture of what was obviously an "for sale" empty pet store aquarium (in Dallas, based on the displays around it).  I didn't even reply to THAT one, LOL!  And there were more of the spammer hoax offers.

So the 1st person came by Saturday afternoon.  I was comfortable with her the moment I saw her.  She was wearing boots, twill workpants and an old parka, and asked if she was going to scare the kitties before she came in the house.  She apologized to the pleco for scaring it before she went in with her large net, moved the net slowly, joked when I sucked a bit of water in my mouth starting the siphon, and talked to it as she put it in the cooler of my aquarium water.  All good signs.

I think my pleco will have a much better time in her larger aquarium...

Today, I filled a smaller aquarium with some of the existing water and moved all the plants to a bucket and the small fish to the smaller aquarium so that I can clean the large one thoroughly.  I'll add an extra 1" of aquarium gravel to set the plants in better, add new (aged) water, and set the smaller fish bak in after a couple days.

And then I'll go buy a young 1.5" pleco!

My Big 10" Fish

Well, OK, the warm-water Plecostomus catfish/algae-eater is really 9.5", but I love it just the same.  Sadly, it has gotten too big for my 30 gallon aquarium, so I offerred it free to "a good home" on Craigslist, asking for aquarium size and pictures of the new aquarium home.

What an adventure!  I received 6 inquiries the first day.  Only one sent a picture and said the aquarium was 150 gallons, but I saw goldfish in there.  Still, it was in the house, so it couldn't be THAT cold.  That person promised to come by Monday night, then Tuesday with a big net and transport box.  Haven't heard from him since.

The 2nd person had a 125 gallon aquarium and "really been looking for" a large Pleco.  2 emails, no further response.

3rd admitted to having a large oscar that killed smaller plecos.  Forget that!

2 others that haven't replied to requests for pictures of their aquarium.

Oh drat!  The most promising person just replied "no longer interested".  Sad...

And then there were the spam responses.  They were hilarious AND pathetically easy to identify.  They said they wanted a cuddly pet for their kids, and asked if it had gotten its shots.  All said almost the exact same thing.  Some sort of flash mob game, I suppose.  Very strange.

But here I am now with my plecostomus, too big for the aquarium, and only one person left who might want it (I'm waiting for a reply).

I really care about the Pleco.  Its somewhere between 12-15 years old and I got it as a baby at 1".  And I KNOW that some person or business with a large display tank would love having this fish.

JUST got a reply from the best home.  She wanted it for a friend's aquarium.  Friend was too far to drive here and she won't drive into MD.  I won't drive into VA.

I will put up a new ad on Craigslist tonight...  I just want a better home for my Pleco.

Football Playoff Game

My local team is the Washington Redskins (and no, I don't like their name).  I'm not a great football fan in general.  But when the local team has people who play their best and are doing well, I follow their progress. 

Sometimes there are great players and great coaches.  sometimes there are average players and average players.  Sometimes both are awful.

Its been some years since I liked both the coaches and players of the Washington Redskins (PLEASE CHANGE THE TEAM NAME, IT'S EMBARRASSING).  This year, there were both good coaches and players.  The coaches and TWO rookies brought the team from 3-6 to 10-6, and got us into the playoffs. 

I'm not a die-hard "homie".  I can easily imagine a successful team I did not respect. Cheating coaches, hockey-style "injure-the-opponents" players, etc.

But this year looked good.  TWO good rookie quarterbacks, a good rookie running backs, A good balance of defense/offense, a good balance of passes and runs, a great kicker...  Clean imaginative play, hard-running, honest stuff, new ideas from coaches...  I watched today's playoff game against the very talented Seattle Seahawks.  Washington scored touchdowns on the first 2 possessions.  I thought it would be a wonderful game.

I had my doubts about the wisdom of playing the #1 quarterback with a knee injury because a big part of his style was running the ball himself.    The #2 quarterback had proven himself in 2 late season games.  And then the further injury I was expecting...

I am disgusted!  My concern about the quarterback was justified.  You could see he could hardly run at all from the start. 

I'm not disgusted because my team lost.  It's the playoffs and there are no bad teams playing; someone has to lose each one.  And when you get to one-game eliminations, its not even the "best" team that survives to the end.

What disgusts me is that the Washington coaches risked the future of one of the possible hall-of-fame quarterbacks as a rookie for one game.  And I'll offer an analogy.  The Washington Nationals baseball team have a potential hall-of-famer pitcher.  They could have just used him up going for the World Series this past season.  Instead, they used him carefully and stopped when they thought he had pitched enough.  It cost them in the playoffs this year, but they knew they will have greater years ahead.  And they will.

The Washington Redskins (PLEASE CHANGE THE NAME, IT'S EMBARRASSING) coaches rolled the dice and played their star injured quarterback almost the whole game, risking his future when they had a proven backup ready to go.

If they were afraid of putting in the #2 quarterback, well I never complain about protecting an injured player...

And THAT'S why I'm disgusted by the game...

Pre-Gardening Season

I tried a few things last Fall.  I waited until now to make sure they were working.

The first idea was to replace my aging butterfly bushes.  I'd decided to try cloning the best one with stem-cuttings.  I pruned it in the early fall, and it sent out new shoots as I expected.  I cut them all off and set them into 6 cell-packs after pulling the lower leaves off and dipping the cut stems in rooting hormone.  10 of the 12 cuttings are growing well under my plant stand lights!

The second idea was to take a dozen catmint stems and root THEM.  10 out of 12 growing nicely there too!

The third idea was the best.   I LOVE spreading petunias (aka "wave petunias").  I had 6 last year at a few $$ apiece.  Sometimes they are wonderful.  Last year was a hard year and they didn't grow well.  So last Fall, I dug up the only survivor and put it in a pot under the grow lamps.  Then I snipped off 12 stems and rooted them with rooting hormone powder (the stuff is AMAZING).  Not only is the original plant blooming nicely, ten of the stems are growing as well.  If they stay healthy, I will have 13 spreading petunia to plant in May!!!

I'm thrilled that these attempts are all working out!

Late December

I wish everyone a Happy Holiday.  Mine was a few days ago, but that doesn't matter.  I enjoyed it.  This is for most of the rest of you.

May this be a day that stays in your heart the year-round.  Holidays exist for reasons.  We need times to reflect and think about what makes us a society.  We have Christmas but also 4th of July.  We have Easter, but also Thanksgiving Day. 

We even have Groundhogs Day.  Do you know why?  It's the midwinter day...  Please feel free to check your calendar.

All the oldest holidays have a reason.  It doesn't matter that Christmas is a steal from the Winter Solstice, we ALL NEED a holiday at the shortest time of the year.  It keeps our hopes alive of longer days to come and the annual promise of warmth and successful planting.  We NEED that, because without the promise of new crops we would all die. 

The lengthening days told our ancestors that there would come a time to sow the seeds again.  Ritual days helped them to know when those seeding days would come, and to help us endure the hungry nights until then.

Some people grant the days of planting (and harvest) to deities.  Others don't.  But we have learned to plant seeds at the proper times, and historically, that was at certain holidays (and that was the reason for the holidays).

I wish you a Happy Solstice holiday for whatever reason you give it.  I will celebrate it for the reasons our ancestors did. 

A Happy Holiday to all for all reasons.  May hope and promise of better days follow you all the days of your lives...

Dad Again

Oops, I mentioned that Dad didn't remember to put butter on his potatoes, and it was rightly pointed out that it was a minor matter.  I didn't explain well.

I had made shrimp and fish sticks for dinner and made cocktail sauce to go with them.  And I provided Dad's daily potato and put out butter.  He always puts butter on his potatoes (a family/cultural thing).

The other day, he couldn't remember what he usually puts on his potato!  And he has been eating a potato with almost every meal for all his life.  He has always put butter on them.  (OK, sometimes there was probably gravy).  But for the first time I know of, he couldn't connect butter with potatoes.  Its just one more thing he is forgetting that I find hard to understand.

I would say that I am learning from Dad's experience what I will be forgetting myself one day, but obviously by that time, I won't be remembering these days myself either.

These posts are only helpful to other elderly caretakers, I suppose...

Dad has worse memory failures than butter on potatoes.  He doesn't recall the daughter who died in 2010, he recall recall the least detail of the house he lived in before he moved in with me (and even that he just sold it 2 weeks ago - he seems to think he sold a rental condo in NH).  He became annoyed at a tax bill from NH because "I never lived there" (he lived there for 25 years).

Sometimes he thinks he has lived with me for "may years" and sometimes he thinks "about a month".  In practical terms, it doesn't really matter where he thinks he has lived before, but it does make it difficult getting him to pay bills and taxes regarding places he doesn't remember.

And something else I really need to explain for those of you who are just beginning to take care of an elder parent(s); they can remember things in detail one day and have no recollection of the same things the day after.  Dad can describe his previous house in FL one day right down to the color of the carpets, and not remember ever living there the next day or week or sometimes in the same day.

Don't let it get you down when that happens.  I am still struggling with that, but I AM learning.

Your elder parent has the memories of the hour or day FOR the hour or the day, and there isn't anything you or they can do to change it. (I keep reminding myself of that, I keep reminding myself of that, I keep reminding myself of that...)  Doesn't help, I keep forgetting and expecting consistent memory or non-memory.

The fluctuations in memory are going to be what drives you the craziest.  You never know what to expect for day, one hour, to another.  It is for me at least.

Dad is also failing physically rather fast.  A few months ago, he could walk in straight lines.  A few weeks ago, he could walk in straight lines with a cane, but had trouble turning in any direction.  Now it can take him 10 minutes to walk from the TV chair to the bathroom.

There are lots of turns involved, and he tends to freeze in place then.  And he tends to freeze in place under doorless doorways.  I don't mean there are doors involved, just that opening between rooms baffle him because there is some choice to be made as to where to go.

Any technology baffles him.  The "elder-friendly" remote control doesn't help much.  There are still too many choices.  I am going to cover most of the buttons with opaque tape and see if that helps.  That's a clue, "simplify everything".  It won't help completely.  Couple weeks ago, Dad was flicking light switches trying to get the drapes to close...

Your elder will eat less as time goes on, but get confused about whether he/she is gaining or losing weight.  Dad equates tight waists on his pants with "eating too much", but he is eating less these days.  And some random days he decides he is not eating enough and so needs ice cream.  Hey, if Dad wants ice cream after dinner, that's fine with me.  I always keep some available.  But the confusion is that it has nothing to do with his weight.

Relations with older relatives will also be confusing.  Dad says he calls one SIL  (LOL!  I had to stop and think of the term for the relation between Dad and one of my aunts) almost every week for the past months.  I know he he hasn't because he can't figure out my phone.  Yet even when I mention that, he remains convinced he calls her every week.  He doesn't, because he CAN'T.  So tomorrow, I will help him call her and HOPE that he makes some sense in the conversation.  I MIGHT listen in with the aunt's permission.

Enough for today...

Food Toppings and Hand Washing

Dad constantly surprises me these days.  Mainly about things that I never thought anyone could get confused about.

Like butter...  Dad's memory is weak about recent events but reasonably good about longer-ago events.  Dad loves potatoes, and has been putting butter on them all his life.  Until tonight, when he forgot (for the first time I am aware of).

I made shrimp and fishsticks, potatoes, green beans, and a salad.  So I had cocktail and tarter sauce out long with the butter.  For the past couple of months, he has asked me which of the sauces go with the fishsticks vs the shrimp, and I always tell him that either sauce if fine with either meat, just personal preference.  I've gotten used to that question being asked every time.

But he couldn't figure out what he put on his potatoes?  That is probably the most basic thing he has ever forgotten, because it goes so far back into his past.  He remembered he wanted it on bread...

I'm glad his body is working better than his mind these days.  Answering questions about what to put on potatoes is a lot easier than having to help with personal hygiene.

Hygiene is probably the next problem, though.  I didn't hear sink water running the last time he  used the bathroom.  I think I won't be sharing bowls of chips or nuts in the future.  Seriously, I know he washes his hands sometimes, but I think he is forgetting more often.

I'm not in the habit of doing this degree of monitoring an adult's personal practices.  I can make meals, do laundry, give him his pills, arrange haircuts, write his bill checks for him to sign, arrange taxes, house sale, get him to a dentist or doctor, buy things he needs, etc, etc, etc.

But I can't do the more personal stuff...

Small Victory, But Concerns

Dad got his last haircut in late August.  He hates doing that, but I got him to go with me today. 

I learned something about Dad today.  He loves looking good.  But he is also a cheap tightwad.  Well, OK, I knew that before about his spendig on family, but I never knew about it regarding tipping.

He won't.  The barber said it was $13 and Dad counted out 13 $1 dollar bills like it was pulling fingernails.

I had my haircut and I tipped the barber 15%.  Dad didn't.  So I slipped my friendly barber of many year another $2 as Dad left.  I'll add that to Dad's monthly personal costs for the month.  LOL!

But I hope I don't get like that when I get older...

Dad talked to my BIL Corey today.  Dad has been paying for a portion of a grand-daughters college tuition. 

But this time he didn't remember who she was.  Or who her mother was (a daughter of Dad).  Or who he talked to (the partner of my sister).  Nothing.

And yet, he agreed to send a check, not knowing any of the people involved.  It was a good reason to send a check, but a bad reason not knowing who he was talking to.

I think I better make sure to answer the phone every time.  Dad is in the "sucker" range now.

Garden

I had a good day outside!  Temps around 60 and sunny.

Today was the day for cutting down all the spent flower stems (that didn't have good seeds for the birds).  I cut down the mums, the asters, the sedums, the other asters, the coneflowers, the monarda, the goldenrods, and the black-eyed susans.  And I am leaving them in cages in the empty annual beds in case the birds can get something from them.

I filled the birdfeeder with sunflower seeds, the finch feeder with thistle, and set out suet.  I have plans for a board to spread organic peanut butter on. 

I swept the patio of blown-in leaves and dumped them on the lawn where I can shred them with the mower. 

And I just stood outside looking at the yard.  My yard.  Lots of things still to do, but I was done for the day.  The weather is supposed to be better the next few day.  I'll be out there...

Halalulieh!

This week, I got Dad's 2011 taxes finalized and sent.  It was horrible.  Dad seems to have decided last March that he didn't need to keep tax documents anymore.  And I have spent months searching out all his investment companies and banks to get replacement documents.  HE had no idea who they were, of course, but thank goodness for required quarterly statements and postal forwarding!  I finally found them all and contacted them for replacement tax forms.   Some needed several requests, but in the end, all were GOT!

AND I got the sales documents for Dad's house in FL signed, notarized, and witnessed.  And FedEx'd to the realtor (an adventure in itself).

So, how did Dad thank me for these months of effort?  He asked for a listing of all his funds.  And then he quizzed me about how accurate they all were.  Like I would know if the monthly or quarterly statements were lies?

*sigh*

I spent an hour sitting by his chair after dinner answering all his (often inane) questions patiently and repeatedly.  Did I mention repeatedly?  And repeatedly?  And often?

He is SURE I missed some investment fund somewhere.  I explained that all investment funds send regular statements of net worth, but he is sure there are some I haven't (had the wit) to find.  Old people are maddening...  And Dad is (and always has been) stupidly insulting.

But at least I have the taxes and house sale finished.  Everything from here on out should be just repeated stupid questions and I spent years in my career answering repeated stupid questions.

I just never thought I would have to keep doing it after I retired...