I give LC her thyroid med when I go to bed and when I get up in the morning. Last night, I couldn't find her. Well, that happens sometimes; there are lots of places in this house where kitties can hide when they want to and LC always knew when it was med time. Ayla has some places I have NEVER discovered. LC seldom hid, but she did a few times.
This morning, when she didn't come for breakfast, I went searching. The past couple of months, I have often had to find her and bring her food to her. I couldn't find her anywhere. After 30 minutes of searching, with dread in my heart, I spied a tail. She had burrowed into a corner of basement clutter. When I shook her, she did not move.
I went upstairs and cried. After a while, I went back downstairs to retrieve her body. She was completely unmoving. But when I pulled her out, she was warm. She blinked one eye. She was at the vet 5 minutes later, though essentially comatose. The vet put her on fluids immediately and drew blood for tests. He sent me home.
An hour later, the vet called and said she had died. He said she had roused a bit after the fluids but that at one of their every-10-minute checks, she was gone.
Oh LC, I am so sorry that I wasn't there in your last minutes. I wish I had just kept you home and held you until your brave spirit left your failing body so you could leave while in my arms as Skeeter did. But I had to try to save you for a few more days...
I do not think she was at all aware of her surroundings. The vet says she died from a kidney infection; her white blood cell count was very high. He says she was not in any pain, just was feeling very very tired.
When I went to bring her home, the vet had tears in his eyes too. The assistant who brought her to me was also crying. She knows how I felt because she said she lost her 5 kitties in a house fire last week. We cried together for a few minutes. But I had to leave...
At home, I laid LC on the floor for Ayla and Iza to examine. Iza sniffed her many times. Ayla came over, but backed away and ran into the kitty condo cave. She stayed in there an hour. I think they understood that LC was no longer in her body. It is important to me that they understand that she is dead rather than "missing".
I went outside to dig a spot for LC next to Skeeter, but the ground is frozen hard. I can't handle this today. Tommorrow, I will try pouring hot water on the soil to thaw it. For now, I need to build a small memorial box like Skeeter's.
Please forgive my maundering and inelegant post. I am grieving the loss of their presence and my memory of them. I had so many happy years with both of them. It is hard to accept that they are BOTH now gone. 17 years is a long time to share with cat-friends, and I am grateful for that time together. They exist only in my heart and mind, treasured pictures, and their memorials.
Goodbye Skeeter and LC...
I think I will now go toss toys to Ayla and Iza, and explain to them that they are the "new era" now...