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Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Diplomacy

A little dark humor...

Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump are on the telephone reluctantly "diplomacizing"...

Kim:  You attack us, The Greatest of Nations, and we will level Seoul with our mightly artillery!
Trump:  Yawn, not our problem...

Kim:  We will atomic bomb Guam!
Trump:  Is that ours?  Well, hold on 30 seconds...  OK, I just sold it to the Japanese.

Kim:  Then we will nuke California!
Trump:  Go ahead, it's all Democrats.  Besides, it's only our 10th biggest State.  Besides, you probably couldn't hit it.

Kim:  Well we'll hit SOMETHING!
Trump:  Sure go ahead.  You'll kill a bunch of Mexicans picking grapes in Napa Valley.  Then I won't need a wall at all...

Kim:  But think of the destruction!
Trump.  Actually, we have laser satellites.  You won't get a missile into reentry.  Wait, hold on 30 seconds, Bannon is yelling in my ear.  OK, he says I shouldn't have told you that.  Forget I mentioned it.

Kim, Then I will send a nuke in a container ship!
Trump:  Go for San Fransisco, thats where all the LBGTQIAs are.

Kim:  WHO?
Trump:  Google it.  Oh wait, you don't have internet there, HA, HA, HA!

Kim:  I will send an skilled Korean assassin to work at Mar-A-Lago!
Trump:  I only hire Mexicans, no matter what South American country they come from! 

 Kim:  Then I will post a sniper in the woods of your golf course.  You slice terribly!  He will know just where to wait.
 Trump:  That's a body double.  I have a dozen.  I'll put a bomb in Dennis Rodman's basketball next time he visits you.  BOOM!

Kim:  You would blow up the Great Dennis Rodman?
Trump:  In a NY second.  He has better hair than I do.

Kim:  Then I will nuke Japan!
Trump:  Please do, that will improve our tech industry profits.  But as a favor, do it while Rodman is there on his way to visit you.  Two birds with one stone.

Kim:  OK, I would never nuke Japan or anyplace where Dennis Rodman is...
Trump:  I know.  Well, guess who just got named the Ambassador to Everywhere, travelling secretly and with 100 body-doubles in all embassies ...  GOTCHA!

Kim:  Dennis Rodman HAS no body doubles!
Trump:  You haven't been following the South Korean DNA experiments lately, have you?

Kim:  I thought he was a ET!
Trump:  You watch too many movies.  BTW, we have The Avengers and they have The Hulk.



Kim:  Well, um, I think you are weak.  I can pole vault 32', run a 3 minute mile, I shoot par golf, and, um,  throw a shotput 60'.  My Secretary-General of My Athletic Skills says so!  Or at least will tomorrow.
Trump:  Yeah, I have one of those too.  I can throw a football in a tight spiral through a swinging tire, hit a baseball 500', and have a 0 handicap at golf!

Kim:  Really?
Trump:  Of course really!  Would I lie to you?  Come to Mar-A-Lago anytime and I'll prove it.

Kim:  Sorry, I'm busy that week.
Trump:  Well ANYTIME is fine, I play golf all over the country at my 100's of resorts.  On government time and cost.  Name a day...

Kim:  Sorry but I am an booked up through 2025.  Really busy here.

Trump:  Well, yeah me too.

Kim:  (Whew, escaped that exposure)
Trump:  (Whew, escaped that exposure)

Kim:  You are insane!
Trump:  Funny, I was just thinking that about you.

Kim:  You have ugly hair!
Trump:  My hair is HONORED on the internet!  Have you seen the "Trump Your Cat" pictures?  It show they love me.  Hugely!  Beat that...

Kim:  You're FAT.  Too much hamburgers and french fries.
Trump:  Not much to look at yourself.  What are you?  4' 6" and 225 pounds?  I bet you don't get there on just rice.

Kim:  I am the most well-fed person in the country.  I am 7' tall and a trim 250!
Trump:  I'm 6'6" and 275.  Won the Presidential Wrestling Competition in 2016!

Kim:  Really?
Trump:  Would I lie to YOU?

Kim:  You know, you are an interesting person.
Trump:  Yeah, we think alike.

Kim:  Maybe we could exchange some emails.
Trump:  I'm more on Twitter, but emails might be good...  I'll ask Hillary how that works...

Together:  "I want you, I need you, I love you"


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRRmm0d7VcA




1 comment:

Megan said...

Funny - but also worrying!

Megan
Sydney, Australia