A little dark humor...
Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump are on the telephone reluctantly "diplomacizing"...
Kim: You attack us, The Greatest of Nations, and we will level Seoul with our mightly artillery!
Trump: Yawn, not our problem...
Kim: We will atomic bomb Guam!
Trump: Is that ours? Well, hold on 30 seconds... OK, I just sold it to the Japanese.
Kim: Then we will nuke California!
Trump: Go ahead, it's all Democrats. Besides, it's only our 10th biggest State. Besides, you probably couldn't hit it.
Kim: Well we'll hit SOMETHING!
Trump: Sure go ahead. You'll kill a bunch of Mexicans picking grapes in Napa Valley. Then I won't need a wall at all...
Kim: But think of the destruction!
Trump. Actually, we have laser satellites. You won't get a missile into reentry. Wait, hold on 30 seconds, Bannon is yelling in my ear. OK, he says I shouldn't have told you that. Forget I mentioned it.
Kim, Then I will send a nuke in a container ship!
Trump: Go for San Fransisco, thats where all the LBGTQIAs are.
Trump: Google it. Oh wait, you don't have internet there, HA, HA, HA!
Kim: I will send an skilled Korean assassin to work at Mar-A-Lago!
Trump: I only hire Mexicans, no matter what South American country they come from!
Kim: Then I will post a sniper in the woods of your golf course. You slice terribly! He will know just where to wait.
Trump: That's a body double. I have a dozen. I'll put a bomb in Dennis Rodman's basketball next time he visits you. BOOM!
Kim: You would blow up the Great Dennis Rodman?
Trump: In a NY second. He has better hair than I do.
Kim: Then I will nuke Japan!
Trump: Please do, that will improve our tech industry profits. But as a favor, do it while Rodman is there on his way to visit you. Two birds with one stone.
Kim: OK, I would never nuke Japan or anyplace where Dennis Rodman is...
Trump: I know. Well, guess who just got named the Ambassador to Everywhere, travelling secretly and with 100 body-doubles in all embassies ... GOTCHA!
Kim: Dennis Rodman HAS no body doubles!
Trump: You haven't been following the South Korean DNA experiments lately, have you?
Kim: I thought he was a ET!
Trump: You watch too many movies. BTW, we have The Avengers and they have The Hulk.
Kim: Well, um, I think you are weak. I can pole vault 32', run a 3 minute mile, I shoot par golf, and, um, throw a shotput 60'. My Secretary-General of My Athletic Skills says so! Or at least will tomorrow.
Trump: Yeah, I have one of those too. I can throw a football in a tight spiral through a swinging tire, hit a baseball 500', and have a 0 handicap at golf!
Trump: Of course really! Would I lie to you? Come to Mar-A-Lago anytime and I'll prove it.
Kim: Sorry, I'm busy that week.
Trump: Well ANYTIME is fine, I play golf all over the country at my 100's of resorts. On government time and cost. Name a day...
Kim: Sorry but I am an booked up through 2025. Really busy here.
Trump: Well, yeah me too.
Kim: (Whew, escaped that exposure)
Trump: (Whew, escaped that exposure)
Kim: You are insane!
Trump: Funny, I was just thinking that about you.
Kim: You have ugly hair!
My hair is HONORED on the internet! Have you seen the "Trump Your Cat"
pictures? It show they love me. Hugely! Beat that...
Kim: You're FAT. Too much hamburgers and french fries.
Trump: Not much to look at yourself. What are you? 4' 6" and 225 pounds? I bet you don't get there on just rice.
Kim: I am the most well-fed person in the country. I am 7' tall and a trim 250!
Trump: I'm 6'6" and 275. Won the Presidential Wrestling Competition in 2016!
Trump: Would I lie to YOU?
Kim: You know, you are an interesting person.
Trump: Yeah, we think alike.
Kim: Maybe we could exchange some emails.
Trump: I'm more on Twitter, but emails might be good... I'll ask Hillary how that works...
Together: "I want you, I need you, I love you"