Mom died 5 years ago today from common old age problems. I miss her as a friend. She "mothered" me for 18 years, and she became more of a friend after that. Does that seem strange?
For almost my entire adult life (18-55), we corresponded almost weekly. She and I are writers, and letters were our "talk". We both loved words, their origins, and their changing meanings. It runs in her side of the family; one of her sisters worked on a major dictionary. If there was a pun to be made, we made it. If there was some older meaning of a word, we played it.
It ended 5 years before she died. She could no longer write even with the help of a machine. I suppose it didn't matter, her mind was going wrong along with her fingers. The last 5 years, she couldn't communicate. I kept writing letters that Dad read to her until he said she couldn't understand anything anymore.
I miss her as my Mom. But I miss her as my friend more. I don't want that to sound wrong. Its just that we had a special similar sense of humor-wordplay, and top-this-doggeral poem that lasted for so many years..
I got my sense of the dramatic from her. When she was middle-aged, the social group she was in had theme parties. One was Wild Hats. Mom had Dad take a straw hat and add a big plywood ring around it. She took our Ben-Hur chariot set and glued them around the ring. First Prize! I learned from that.
Thanks for everything, Mom... I carry on the tradition.