Well, as the joke goes, "quitting smoking is easy, I've done it 100 times"! It isn't of course. I have quit for months on occasion only to fall back into it. The saddest time was in the 1980s while on a camping trip to Canada with my former friend. On our last day of camping, he was down to his last 2 cigarettes and said he was quitting and did I want to share 1 of the last 2. I know now it was astonishingly stupid, but I felt immune immune. It tasted GREAT!
You know, I've actually wondered since then if my "friend" did
that deliberately. At the time, such a thought would never have
occurred to me. But these days, I consider the possibility. He DID frequently mention how envious he was that I had quit when he couldn't...
When we got back to the Park convenience shop, he immediately bought a carton of cigarettes. I
stole several and smoked them stealthily. We drove back to NY City
where he lived at the time (and yes, I had done all the driving in my
car). But I had to drive back to MD from NY and I suddenly couldn't face the long boring New Jersey Turnpike without smoking. And there I was smoking again.
stopped a few times since then for a few weeks at a time. But then I
face a long drive, a stressful event, or a long night at the computer
and I give in again. I wish the damn things were illegal. It's just
too hard to stop smoking when they are available 24/7 on every street
I'm convinced I'm habituated to the "process" of smoking
and not the nicotine. I think that because sometimes I don't light a
cigarette for several days at a time and it doesn't bother me. And
because I've been "vaping" an e-cigarette for 2 days which provides
nicotine but is not in any way psychologically satisfactory.
e-cigarette is completely unsatisfactory. It's a ceramic rod that is
way too heavy, unwieldy, and (in spite of best efforts of designers)
just doesn't work like a real cigarette. I admire that it provides
nicotine (in gradually reducible amounts), the appearence of smoke (its
water vapor), and none of the carcinigens of actual cigarette smoke.
they just don't quite work yet. They need to be as light as a regular
cigarette, have a paperlike feel to the "filter" end, and provide a
better fake smoke.
And don't wish me good luck for
stopping. Between the 5th and 6th paragraphs, I drove to the nearest
convenience store and bought a new carton of real cigarettes... ARGH!!! I just CAN'T be on the computer and not smoke... I need a better fake cigarette.