Sunday, July 10, 2011

Time is Relative

What do you do when you don't fit a 24 hour clock?  I was an early bird as a child, a reluctant waker as a college student.  I managed to keep a schedule that got me up at 5 a.m., home at 6 p.m. and to bed by 9 p.m. for 35 years in a successful career.  But now that I am retired and have no requirements or obligations, I can't keep a 24 hour waking/sleeping schedule.  I mentioned recently that I was on a 25 hour clock.  I understated it.  Its worse than that.

Its more like a 28 hour clock.  I go to bed and can't sleep for hours, then finally sleep for  8 hours on and off.  I end up in bed for 12 hours.  And then I don't feel tired for at least 16 hours.  That's just not normal!

I have, at times, engaged in computer games or discussion boards way too late at night.  I used to think it was because I loved the games or discussion.  But I am realizing that I just wasn't tired.  And who can go to bed when they aren't tired?  What's the point of going to bed when you aren't tired?  You can't sleep.  You just lay there aware and awake.

Its nice to have the cats there to scratch.  They aren't keeping me awake, but they are nice to have something to give attention to while I lay in bed frustrated that I can't sleep. 

So I finally get tired of layin in bed and get up at 4 p.m. one day and 8 p.m. the next and dress to get the mail and the newspaper.  I check the email.  I check the cat blogs.  I would say "depression", but I don't feel depressed.  I enjoy doing things in the yard/garden and playing with the cats.  I enjoy preparing meals.  I enjoy listening to political and news TV.  I feel fine physically.  I'm just OFF the clock and not sleeping well!

There is a reason I am writing this at 4:30 a.m.  I'm fully awake and not tired.  I can't blame the cats.  Iza sleeps peacefully in the corner of the bed.  Ayla sleeps quietly on the top of the shoe shelf or on a pillow on a chair.  Marley doesn't even sleep in the room.  He likes the computer chair or a platform on the kitty condo.  My personal clock is just all wrong....

It is really messing things up.  I am NOT going to try and then get stuck on sleeping pills.  That is not a road I want to travel.  Well, thanks for just letting me complain...  My Mom always said that "getting old isn't for sissies" and maybe all this is normal.  But all the old people in my life just got up EARLY each day.  I don't know what is going on. 

5 comments:

Katnip Lounge said...

Have you tried melatonin to help send you to sleep? It's a natural thing your brain makes to regulate the sleep/wake cycle and getting older (ouch!) you may be producing less. It's available anywhere in different strengths...I take 4 mg about an hour before bed and I sleep pretty good. After I had my parts out last Feb I've been having problems sleeping and it's helped a LOT.
Trish

MTVA said...

One of the nicest things about retirement is no longer being nailed to the clock, having to live your life by what the clock says. But maybe a more structured day might get you back in a more regular rhythm? Maybe a plan to do certain things at a particular time of day, like getting up and going for a walk first thing every morning, or having a particular time for lunch,(and a nap!)etc.

Thumper said...

If not for Max being as insistent as he is on particular feeding times, I would probably have a similar internal clock. The only real down side to it is that the rest of the world operates on a daytime schedule...otherwise I don't think there's anything wrong with sleeping only when you're tired and being up when you're not...

Just Ducky said...

While you don't have to have a strict, get up and go to work, maybe put yourself on a regular routine. Get up at 8, set an alarm if needed. Work hard during the day outside. Then play inside as needed. Try to go to bed at the same time. Plus try the melatonin.

ScottinVictoria said...

But is the fact that you are writing a blog post at 04:30 a problem? You said that you have no real time-sensitive obligations, so what does it really matter, except I suppose weeding the gardens at 01:00 is probably not conducive to getting all the weeds. Surely the cats don't mind your 28 hour day...?

Scott

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